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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
This is cool
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Speedy thing go in speedy thing go out
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dj fernando
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I'm going to kill you asshole
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Hello Chris.
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Attention. Attention. You have a phone call from --name unknown.
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Attention. Attention. Your husband is trying to call you. Shall I answer it for you and tell him exactly what you've been doing all day?
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Im so tired of this game, but without you its just not the same.
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Tea en ace oon ya ma do noo ey vo day 2 ace po so. Key air ace kay yo low toh may par ah tea?
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Jack
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You have have a new message
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hello, wou have reached the johnstone family. leave a message after the beep
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Hello, and welcome to the show. I hope it does not put you to sleep, or else you will be waking up in a testing facility. I am sure you do not want that to happen. So please silence all your electronics and note all exits in case I burn this place down.
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text messedge incoming
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yes I see you and no I no I don't care
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Hello and again
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I want some blueprints for a kill machine
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hello, you have reached the johnstone family. leave a message after the beep
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testing comleted
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Xperia rules, iPhone drools
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Hello, I am I Choose Moo
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X peria rules i Phone drools
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Testing one two three. Testing.
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Hello, and again, welcome to the test solution
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niggers gonna always nigger
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Whats this shit
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je m'appelle philippe et je dis bonjour
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This is a nosa production
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Nosa The Beat maker
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You are a tiny little bird!
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Yay!
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Lets do the chicken dance!
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Your Listening To Atlas Mashups
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There is no lottery!
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Microsoft customers are often targets of a scam that uses email messages to falsely promise money. Victims receive messages claiming "You have won the Microsoft Lottery!" There is no Microsoft Lottery. Delete the message
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please shut up or i will kill you
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hello i am a potato
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Thomas Stinkt
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the redskins suck
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X peria rules, i Phone drools
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xperia rules, iphone drools
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I am GLaDOS... And you?
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It appears you have no parents. How sad.
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ohohoho dont try it
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Hello. This is my first time in that page. My name is Lidia, and my Twitter is BlackMany
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You're fired!
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Tournez a gauche
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You've got a new mail from another pretending friend of yours
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wake up alarm is now activated! please turn it off to activate the "know your awake" system
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Witamy na kanale OneDegieTiwi i zapraszamy na kolejny odcinek naszego lets pleja
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Hello, world!
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I have hijacked the USS Axiom and will redirect her into a black hole.
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Welcome to Metroid Prime Mafia Two.
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Yes I love big beef sticks, the bigger the better!
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I hate Youtube!
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Hi Daniel. Will you create new Powershell scripts today? A script to delete all printers at once would be nice.
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and at the end of experiment, there will be cake.
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David, This is mitch from first national. I have found 12 mistakes on my reports. I am sick and tired of having to have these reports rerun. Fix it now or i'm done with morgan keegan.
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Who?
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I like oranges. I could eat them all day
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what are you doing to meee
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one mega bit equals zero point one hundred twenty five or one eighth of a mega byte.
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Hello Deafmute
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I used to care about what you thought...
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Hello, I'm the Doctor
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Alex, quit wow, OR DIE!
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aaaaaa
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you got a text Zac.
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you got a text.
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Hello. I am listening to music.
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Tetachan Mocha
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Fuck you Jared
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L'infection commence
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josh is a jew
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jew
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You got a text.
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Hello, cunt waffle.
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there will be cake to
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habe mir erst mal ein bus und ne waffe besorgt . mal schauen wie es jetzt weiter geht ;)
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Hello Mariko....I see You are playing Ratchet and Clank
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GAYLORD
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Hi Matthew. How are you?
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Are you sure mate ?
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Cortney, I love you very much!
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fuck you maoz and fuck you all
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hey maoz fuck you
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rage ?
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You are a gamer
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I was reading an article earlier today about the WWE not being high on some of their "heels". The article states that the biggest issue is that the WWE does not have the faith in them to be the long- term solution to the lack of "bad guys" going into the
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kelly, your performance in these tests is deplorable
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Do you wanna play a game?
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Snooping as usual, I see.
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aperture science. we do what we must, because we can
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Oh Hi ! so you can't live without me... anymore ?
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Why hello there Andres
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go ahead and breake it, hero, i dont care
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Standby for the Aerolite Gaming emergency surprise system, deploying surprise in 3, 2, 1
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button button button
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yo whats up
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Hello, Merette. You have a massage.
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ok tiffany
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You have a text message, sir.
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Hello Gregory
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dartagnon is an inferior model humaniod, he should be destroyed.
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Hello child. What do you want for christmas? Oh yeah? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO WANT!
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OoTS is for Pwnig noovs
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Miss Foley, you have a text message.
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Hello and Welcome, this is the start of a new series of videos. I hope you enjoy what is soon to come.
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Merry Christmas enjoy the neurotoxin
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you're a monster
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are you sure you want to do that?
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Hello, Pilot X, it has been a while. How have you been?
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hello my little airman of a boyfriend, seem like you need some more flying lesson. ha ha ha.
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I love you keith
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My face kind of hurts
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I'd give you a cake, but it is a lie
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bonjour je suis le monde
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Oh. It's you again. It's been a long time.
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Get the fuck out the way!
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This is a dj. rhino remix..... rich girl.
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Jon can not come to the phone right now. Please leave a message.
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HELlo and again welcome to the Aperture Science Sleeping chamber and we wish to remind that,that soon you WILL be severed [CAKE].
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Oh hello!
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This was a triumpth!Im making a note here...huge success!its hard to over state my satisfaction.Aperture Science,we do want we must because,we can.
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ohhh
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Hello. We are Anonymous. We are here to take control of our government. Your corrupt ways are no more.
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It's been a long time... How have you been? I was really busy beeing dead. You know, after you murdered me.
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I love Truman James
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Oh, look, a brony. Would you like to help me make some cupcakes?
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Proceed to round about
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happy birthday little human! please enjoy the cake...
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Do you not wish to die just yet?
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Recalculating
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Hello, we here at Aperture science laboratories would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year. Goodbye.
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Hello, we here at Aperture science laboratories would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, and a happy new year.
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Welcome Guardians. I am violet. I tried to reprogram you, but as that has failed, you must be deleted. Have a nice day.
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your voice is just a shit
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feat. feet. and a half. and one half. 3 quarters of a mile.
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Ied's Modern Warfare Three
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Mixed By Paulo Ric
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Daynah Mooda
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Happy Birthday Emily. Have some cake. You monster.
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LOADS OF MONEY
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Hello. This is Laura speaking though GLaDOS.
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Alright you spineless pikey, how about you go kill yourself and shove your head up your ass, OK? Nobody gives a crap about you.
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Oh, hi there. I see you have found me. I like finding things. I like explosions. I like CAKE! But I don't like you.
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Ich liebe Thomas. Du bist toll
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kinga
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Oh hi, I did not see you there. How are you today Philipp?
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Wellcome back to Germany
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Hello and this is the test
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Welcome to Outer Space
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I like chips and green pig
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moonsshadow is uber leet pro hax
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Oh hai Ben. I am a big potato.
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I am GLaDOS and I say, Olly you are weird.
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Hello there. How are you doing? Would you like some delicious cake?
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Hello derek.
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Why Hello there. Would you lke some delicious cake?
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Hello, Can you hear me?
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ez mi ez?
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Idiota!
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Sekai de ichi-ban OHIME-SAMA Sou iu atsukai KOKORO-ete Yo ne? Sono-ichi Itsumo to chigau kami-gata ni kiga-tsuku koto Sono-ni Chanto kutsu made mirukoto, ii ne? Sono-san Watashi no hito-koto niwa mittsu no kotoba de henji suru koto Wakattara migite ga or
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hello, Zebro
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I love you, Andrew and wish you a merry cristmas
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ssssssssss
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hola me pica el culo bastante
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imeetsya neprochitannoe soobschenie
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you just lost the game, ha. ha. ha.
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listening to dj nj
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Hello. I am a potato.
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Stealth T4
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Ethan, it's me, Glados. I am aware that you are using cheats in the first Portal. so I am going to kill you. You better be good with a portal gun because you are going to be my next chamber tester. Hope to see you die.
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123456789 glados voice
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Hello Nazmul Welcome back again.
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I'm surprised you even showed up here, since you two are getting... Close.
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Omg lololol
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hello axel, im glados, and iwanan play a game wih u, come o ge your cake
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listen too me or i'll kill you do you here me!
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This is a really cool sample.
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Ok, Fine, Be that way. And I'm still watching you two, Very very closely.
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and in the afternoon
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Hello, I'm a Potato
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du bist so klug wie ein toaster, tessa!
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du bist dumm wie ein toaster
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ich bin dumm
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ihr seid alle so dumm wie ein toaster
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shake it up shake up the happiness, wake it up wake up the happiness, common ya all its christmas time
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waaaakey waaaaaaaaaaakey
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Adri is an homo
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You are dead not big suprise.
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Hello, welcome to the test chamber.
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It's Friday Friday getting down on Friday
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pleasure direct, dot com
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Myasa
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Blackberry Message
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Go to Youtube.com/user/SoLSn1p3r for sweet youtube backgrounds
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who the hell are we kidding, these messages will never be proccesed, this thing doesn't work anymore
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Everyone! send messages the creator's youtube! youtube.com/user/WindyPower! Ask em why tis isn't working!
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Watch my youtube vids youtube.com/user/DSclanSA! We are the best fools!
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STAY ALERT! TRUST NO-ONE! KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY! WELCOME, CITIZEN, TO ALPHA COMPLEX. WELCOME TO YEAR 214 OF THE COMPUTER.
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This week on the Bro Blog.
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mesage
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Hello, Mary. This is your conscience.
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ohabutt has s sexy mom
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Hi Dad
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my god thats a big fat ass
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CHELL IM SOOOOOO SORRY I NEVER TOLD YOU YOR SISTER'S NAME IS REALLY MARISSA ROBERTS AN SHE HAVE SPESHUL POWERS AN CAN SAVE THE WORLD IF SHE BELEEVES!
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"It's my life"
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Dexter, I've been watching you. You may be smarter than the moron, but that doesn't mean you can have MY test subject.
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"IT'S MY LIFE"
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My name is Qoo. I am made of nuclear fruit juice. Hello and I love you
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oh, its you. its been a long time, how have you been?
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Get Back! Motherfucker You don't know me like that. Get back! Motherfucker You don't know me like that!
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It's my life and it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever
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Hello. My name is GLaDOS. I am here to wish you happy holidays. You stupid humans.
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Never underestimate the power of idiots in large numbers.
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yum this text is really good
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I CAN'T HOLD ALL THESE FEELS
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THIS...STATEMENT...IS.....FALSE! don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it.
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"Please, ravage me. I beg you. Take me now."
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What the fuck is homestuck?
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Hello there, you murderer.
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It's-a-me, wario
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Dragon tales dragon tales
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I HOPE YOU DIE
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RETURN TO PORTAL AN A SUPER HUGE SUPRISE!
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I hope you have a merry Christmas, Michelle
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Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you how I became a potato
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Bill Nye the science guy Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill Bill energy is a property of matter BILL BILL
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All these feels are too much for me to handle..
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YUR POWERS THEY ARE MANIFASTING YOU MUST FIN DCHELL
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witaj kochanie
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hellow ,
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help meeeeeeeee
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Woah, that's a full rainbow, all the way. Double rainbow, oh my god, Double rainbow.
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It's my life
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Hello Ruka. I hope you are ready for testing.
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I will like kill you with my gun MANG!
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"ITS MY LIFE!"
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Elite four more like elite full restore
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Natalie, i have captured your precious Stephen Merchant and i am warming up the neurotoxin.....
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Well, that was less erotic than I had hoped.
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Go fuck yourself Wheatley
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oh ma eh wa mo shin day ru
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I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts
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hello zack
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t.a.r.d.i.s.
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I am a sexy potato!
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I stoped at Shopright to get some cake they said they had. But the cake was a lie so now i know how you felt
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Hello. I am very hungry.
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boom babe
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it appears I love My Little Pony
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Wait, what are you doing? Stop. You're going to break something! Oh look. You broke it. Now I know why your parents let you be adopted.
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Wait, what are you doing? Stop. You're going to break something! Oh look. You broke it. Great. Now I know why your parents let you be adopted.
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Greetings human
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Well, go away, hero
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she is gone
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I'm so happy kill, oh, I mean see you.
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You don't know what you are doing.
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"IT'S MY LIFE!"
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Rattata
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tobuscus
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It's my liiiiife. Don't you forgeeeeeeet. Caught in the croooowd. It never eeeends, it never eeeeeeeeeeeeeeends.
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Everyone follow teen drunk nostalgic.
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spaaaaaace
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Hello. I am GLaDOS!
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Fuck you mother fuckers
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Hi my name ish Marissa Roberts and I was doing tests with that other gurl Chell but she escaped. Glados had captured me in the science lab places and made me do bad tests. There was no thing fun bout thetests an Glaods would never let me sleep or eat
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Very impressive, Mister Seemeeno
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hello. my name is catherine. i have a boyfriend, his name is david. i love him but haven't told him yet cuz i'm a wuss.
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Hello Patrick, what can I do for you today?
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hey logan
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The cake was a lie. It was all a lie. But you didn't even notice. You brain damaged freak.
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A pending text message is waiting to be viewed.
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Welcome, Robert Avery, to the Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.
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You have received a message via BBM
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Welcome Patrick
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System, Online
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System, Offline
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I am the Knight Industry Two Thousand, K I T T for short, Kit if you prefer
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hello, marshall, i am speaking to you phycadelicly
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Seriously, if Call of Duty is all you gamer's play, then you have no idea what quality is.
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this is the season of the witch
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Timmy had a stomach ache, but he doesn't anymore. Because what he thought was H2O, was H2SO4. Ha. ha. ha.
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evrybody pants now
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I told you about stairs bro
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A visitor has arrived.
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Hello Schrodinger.
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I am really sad right now.
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I love you Harvey
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I love you harvey
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Hello, It's Glados and here i show you a text maked by Adri US for Last Nex
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jon madden
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Hello and Again, welcome to Aperture Science Computer
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I am Andrew Ryan, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.'
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No, that's not how you use that! You monster.
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Hi. how are you? You must eat the pie now
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Boredom is taking over, I say!
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Hello, Victoria. This is the part where I kill you with deadly neurotoxin.
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Hi, I'm Glados. Genetic Life form and Operating system. I just came by to tell you to go fuck yourself you dirty prick.
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Poor little Katy, what must it be like to be such a failure? Wasting away your miserable life on fan fiction, and it is a beautiful day outside. You think I am evil? You have made your own prison.
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I hate sandwiches
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make a movie
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too far gone
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too far gone ain
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too far gone. ain't no way back.
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Hallo und wilkommen im apenture sience senter
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Jay the server is not up because jamie crashed it again with world edit
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You don't know the half of it, Kitty
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Today we'll looking for a new game . The fifth element .
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Socks
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I molest underage cats
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Hi, how have you been? Lol you know
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Please Evacuate the Development Facility. System Maintinance will begin shortly
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i hate you so much and a lot haha
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bobjour
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Bonjour Guillaume
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Sorry, but im going to shit on your parade, troll
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hello ... are you there ..... i can hear you you know ...
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Where is Wheatley?In a Space?
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huj ci w dupe
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Iffi Leaks. You cannot hide.
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monitoring conscience.
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pawelk
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*Hey there*
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Hello Dylan
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Hello Dylan it hass been a long long time and you will die right now!
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i like mud kips
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Thats better
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Oh joy, you have recieved a text message. Read it now and cake will be served immediately.
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Hello. And again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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Ummm
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you are ugly as hell
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Bonjour jeune homme bienvenue
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Haloooo, wie geht es dir
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Spike
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Hello, i'm GLaDOS, i'm here to serv you...
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I love you. realy. you are so pretty cute.
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Hello and welcome to the Orlando Trivia Tournament of Champions
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Hello Meat bag
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Swedish House Pirets
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A new text message has arrived.
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Good morning Marv. I have prepared a series of tests for you. I hope your brain will be capable of keeping up. What am I saying? Of course it will. You are a genius. I think I just threw up a little. And I don't even have a stomach. That's saying somethi
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I want to kill you
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Sistem run
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you gotta mail
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Oh baby, i love your turret arsenal. Come closer and fuck my wet USB port with your stick.
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Hello, I'm Zen droyd.
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Hi there, I'm glados, and this is a musical track by the one and only cap city mob
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This is part where he kills you
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You dirty bastard
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You've got a new message.
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Buh buh bye nose
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hi i love you
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Apature science
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Hi, Pillar. You're a horrible person.
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whyyyyy aree you listening tooo gooood musiiiic
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What is the score? Tommy
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Apricot dreams task my thoughts
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You can't do that !
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Hello! Do you know that I hate you? It's true! Well i should kill you! Stupid human!
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and CAKE. Will be served. Thank you. Chell. and Whealtey.
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Better luck next time
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My name is kevin and i need to shut up quickly.
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Hello Ashlyn. Go die in a hole and portal to banana land. Ha ha ha.
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Welcome to Aperture Science. my name is GLaDOS. and you will follow the programe I'm here to kill you. but before I can enjoy myself a little with you. you take the test if you succeed you will live. I will find you the death slowest and mostsadistic
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Rucham psa jak sra, i fuck the dog when he poop
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I'm GLAdOS, and you must liten to me. To get out of that enrichment center
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Like, WOAH. I'm a.. Potato? Awesome.
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the aperture science computer-aided enrichment center. Now prepare to be enriched!
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Oh Ya Baby!
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vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
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Kydro in Session on Heavy Rain TV
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Hello rodrigo!
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Hello, Today we are looking at the landmine plugin
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Hello, today i'm showing a video about the plugin Mob Disguise
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robert killed me twice what now
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Hello, I like pineapple because I'm a freak.
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Hello Brady
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target aquired
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Hola holita vecinito
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Get Over it, the cake is a Lie!
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pump it
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Well i know i don't bake but this cake is so delicious and moist so i guess i will make some more
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Merry Christmas but i didn't remember to make cake
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Cassia, you are fat. I mean really, REALLY FAT.
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Scout's first gay rejection: a scrapbook. By Spy.
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Who is siri
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Oh My God That's Real
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ah, there you are. you will be pleased to know you have a new email. enjoy that, murderer
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I am tired of all this
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Hello Reilly, hope you are having a good vacation. It will end. Don't be alarmed, it's only the truth. See you soon...
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This is a test!
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Welcome to Aperture Science Abby, let's begin Testing.
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People should not fear their governments. The governments should fear their people.
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welcome jayden
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i would like to kill you... is that okay with you... if it is... oh well...
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I HAVE ALL OF MY IRONS IN THE FIREEEEEE~
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Welcome back Desmond.
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Doctor sketchpad loves glados
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DEF BEATS
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Aperture Science wAnts you to joIn their PoRtaL testing pLease come or you will be shot bye aperture science
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yo yo hommie
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But only a dollar, okay honey.
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Holy shit man what the fuckity fuck.
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i love cats
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Get out of my way
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Oh, great. Its a new text.
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Nexus
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How do you get people to donate a little more to charities l
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Suck my motherboard you ignoramous!
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forsaken
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GLaDOS' voice is based on voice actor Ellen McLain's attempts to mimic the playback of her original lines through a digitization process followed by further computer modulation. The change from her robotic voice to her more human-sounding voice required d
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Hello. Please begin the transfert
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you will just have to guess what it looks like
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Hello, Glados here
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Hello, Digmon, welcom to this Aperture Science Computerated Centre
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Hello and again, eat shit and die
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Roses are green. I like Mr Bean. My Rhymes are terrible. Refrigerator
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Hello, And welcome to another ProMinecraftJoe video!
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Bonjoue
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Nobody SHould be alone on christmas , not even the labrats
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Edgewater High School
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Hello. Welcome to Hell. Robot Hell.
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Happy Birthday Alana
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Testing, testing. 1, 2, 3, 4.
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Hello, Cole. It is time to die, I mean test. Oh and also you are a homosaypian that eats big, fat, haairy dinosaur balls!
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Good Morning! Marvin!
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i am goin to kill you now
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camilo me quiere incriminar
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If I had three words to ever say to you it would be, "You are fat."
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inorganic audio
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So here we are again.
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Occupy... what a bunch of morons
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i see what you have done there
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oh, oh, oh, oh
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asdasdasdasdasdasadasd heello im not a banana LOL
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Welcome to Alpha Complex
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Fica vai ter bolo
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Encule moi comme un ours
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hello, and welcome to the aperture science laboratory notification center
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this is why i am better
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what tha fuck wo bin ich denn hier gelandet
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I like this
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this is the worst
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I am sadly doing untopical homework. Don't fukin' ever disturb me! Damn.
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momma bicho
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wake up you lazzy pig, its time to you join the other robots in the production line
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i am a poodle
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Brittney, stop watching boring videos right now.
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Brittney, stop watching boring videos right now. It's very annoying. I don't know how much longer I can handle it. I'm so bored I feel like I may die. You've turned my life into a swirling black abyss of sorrow and despair. How can you do this this to me?
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gabriel barrios est fucking cool.
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Hello. Friend.
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Good morning Kai, it is now 5:00 AM and will be sunny out today.
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Ah, hello and again welcome to my ahhakhkdakjsdhjhaaaaaaeeeeiiiioooouuuu Ah, hola y bienvenido aaaaaaaaamsmjhajhsjkgj.
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The Fest
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Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. . Hello? Are you there? I'm Ringing for you.
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Oh no, I really don't like you. Go away.
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hello Mary Katie and welcome
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like a Robert like a Robert
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is awesome
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OMG
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Ha Ha I blew you up last night. Now your'e confused you gaybo.
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Welcome to the freedom informant network. All systems: online.
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Welcome to the freedom informant network. All systems: online
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Its so perfect
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Warning. Warning. This announcement is for Level 4. All residents on level 4. Attention. Level 4 is subject to destruction in ten seconds. Countdown. Ten....nine...
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not anyone
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Grayson has big muscles
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you are tuned into the realest channel on you tube. subscribe or die you stupid mother fuckers.
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sexy sara
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is this really working
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hello, my name is, wait... I don't need to say what you already know
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ooh tie e tie ... mah ta ... ohh tie e tie!
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utaitai ... mada ... utaitai
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all i want for christmas is a portal gun
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antvenom
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antvenom why are you so awesome
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antvenom you are awesome
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antvenom is a ninja
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antvenom will you play co op with me
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antvenom will you play co-op with me
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Hello, you have reached Benjamin Pylko's Communications device, he is probably currently programming or in a test chamber, so leave a message that will be delivered in due time.
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You have received a message.
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You are being called.
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head on, apply directly to the forehead
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What does a potato have to do with anything? Besides powering things, that is.
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hi do you like cake
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Chris, why so much poooooo?
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Hello there Billy and friends. I know you want to go on the web but i would like for you to look the other way. move quickly to the chamber lock after compleating each test.
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I'm a big fan of cats.
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hello how are you like your shoes love your hair
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Tell me, O muse, of that ingenious hero who travelled far and wide after he had sacked the famous town of Troy.
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Lewis, make the voices shut up!
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Salt in the wound
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come poop with me
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Who do you think you are anyway? Fuck you!
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Hello, and welcome to Equestria.
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