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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
caralho porra que merda
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Douchebags.
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i am GLaDOS and i like smoking shit. Please give me some.
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GlaDOS disproves.
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Just go, buy Portal 2
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I dont like you and you dont like me.
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Your mission is to infect the watertower with the poision.
Download11/20/2011Not recorded
Tienes un nuevo mensaje en tu celular
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your mission is to infect the water tower with poision.
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i am concered
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Silence. I kill you
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kuba ty ciulu
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hello you smell like poo
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Hello Oneworld
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Iniciaste windows sin problema alguno... Bueno, supongo.
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of course you found hair in your tea. I put it there. I was hoping it would choke you.
Download11/20/2011Not recorded
Of course you found a hair in your tea. I put it there. I was hoping it would choke you.
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Hello Rachael, I love you very very much!!!
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Manolo, eres gay
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Time to study some genetics!
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Just because my hands are on your throat.
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DAMN FX. Just for fun and totally pointless.
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open the pod bay doors, hao
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hello dave, are you enjoying trying to kill me again?
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I need to go potty or else i will die you dumb shit
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James how big is your arseholeyole?
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i think your projects are the best
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i like your projects, do you still live with your mother?
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if the shoe fits
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fuck you mark
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Oh, is you...
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This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: Huge Success. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science - we do what we must because we can. For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying over every mistake
Download11/20/2011Not recorded
You've got mail. Don't bother to check it, because nobody likes you anyway.
Download11/20/2011Not recorded
yes I see you. And no, I don't care.
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This potato is too fast for my slow clap processor
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Welcom to aperetur inrichement facility
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Welcome Alex
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newxt is kirsten
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you will fail
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I was created for a single purpose
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bonjour comment allez vous
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hello tom. you are here becuase i need you to complete some tests for me.
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im tariq
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Hello, blow a goat.
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What`s up dumbass!
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It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake.
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iniating shutdown goodbye
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New feeds have been updated
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Hello, welcome to Aperture Science.
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Thank You for Watching KARCHER97 Lie Stream
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thats gaming
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I belive we're nearly screwed
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center. at the end of this test, you will recieve cake.
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wake the fuck up
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smash
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Aperture Science Laboratories has detected an incoming message.
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SHUT UP
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Warming up the deadly neurotoxin emitters. Goodbye, human.
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Ah, yes. The oral tradition, one of the least reliable methods of information retention and transmission.
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Ernesto Are we going to play Reach?
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the rise of evil pixel
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Welcome to Wear it outdoors
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warning warning incoming attack of evil pixel
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We Love Dub in the mix
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Evil pixel will rise
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well here we are again, its always such a pleasure, remember when you tried to kill me twice
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red buff will respawn in one minute
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It is good to meet you Devon. Do you want to play a game?
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Joining Us From Aberdeen Maryland. Please welcome the Aberdeen Area Marching BAnd
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hi there welcome to aperture science
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I WILL EAT YOU!!!
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i think i love you
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I will eat you!!!
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hello fakoa. How foolish of you to come here.
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Back to testing, you all.
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Im a person
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Aperture science laboratories iniciando
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welcome to the aperture enrichment center.thank you for signing up.now,GET BACK TO TESTING!!
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hey Chell,welcome back.I'm glad you're here.We need your help to KILL BLACK MESA
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So im GLaD i got burned think of all the things we learned.
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Welcome to the Theolizard Laboratories
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kosina
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koseena initulizing prepare for fat drops
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Hello, Federico. My name is Glados. You are test subject number one. You will be put through a series of tests. All of which must be completed within a 15 minute time frame. Are you ready? Well, you don't really have a choice. Let's begin.
Download11/20/2011Not recorded
Ace, get me some food from the refridgerator.
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wouldn't it be nice if you had enough oxygen?
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Oh my,
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that's very nice everything you have there it would be shame if something happen to it haha joke you
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Hello. I'd like to say that I absolutely love this club.
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just sing it
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poshol v gopy
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poshol v jopy
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It's DJ Whyte Out
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yow bryan
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Laura is sexy
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Have you ever, ever felt like this? Strange things are happening, are you going round the twist?
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Partition your hard drive for optimal performance.
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This is only a test. The testing will begin upon completion of this first, vital test.
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Hello Cuckoo. I want to play a game.
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Welcome Sparktank. Systems starting up. Full functionality of the lab will be available momentarily.
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I will end you
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Dance
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Go make some new disaster that's what I'm counting on you're someone else's problem Now I only want you gone
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do you know her?
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Would you like to know more?
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Are you serious?
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Rawr!!! I am bored so I shall annoy you for a little while
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment center, this next testing chamber is impossible and you will die.
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Open the pod bay doors HAL
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Hellooo
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one day i had a gay dream but i woke up with a boner
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hello, and welcome to the ap ......GRRRR!!!! wheatly labortorys and just one more thing before you go the cake is a lie!
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Hi,I'm GLaDOS and i'm not a woman or man,i'm just a robot
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Lithuanian: Labas as esu kvaila supista GLaDOS. 1337:|-|3110,|'4|\/| |=001 57|_||*||) 614|)05
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jestem bez majtek
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get the fuck off!
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if you love it so much hero why not marry it?
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GLaDOS version zero point one alpha testing. Aperture Science Inc. copyright 1982.
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Hello Matey and Mario!
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Hello all of you!
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you have mail, you monster.
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hi nejc
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good morning adrian. I hope you slept well. Would you like some cake?
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Happy Birthday to you, Joe!
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well good morning ben
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Science is fun
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Sciene is fun
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this is the glados voice
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System operational, welcome Gabriel
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i will think over and over again
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si vous etes sage vous aurez un gateau
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awww
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GLaDOS: Genetic Life-form and Disk Operating System
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stop it dave
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Hello my little pony
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because I knoooooow how the woorld roowtates
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Welcome to lab rats comedy
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Linux-Powered Aperture Science Computational Workstation.
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I hate you,
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I hate you, lap dog
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bonjour comment ca va ?
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I am deeply unimpressed by your stupidity and lack of effort, Joseph.
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Hello, have you find me?
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It's almost that time for the gobble gobble.
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attention you hav an incoming message
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now it is time for you to die
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hello connard
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Hello Scott, How may I be of service to you?
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naber lan yaraaam
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It's almost that time for the gobble gobble!
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The Music Wolf 7 presents..
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Welcome to my house
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CAKE!
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hello there. i am pleased to finally meet you.
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Victor, time to running out !
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Now I'll show you !
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Welcome to the aparature science enrichment center.
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The show must go on !
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someone is trying to
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Hello Lori, I am GLaDOS
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hoooy
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Lick my little pussy
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you mad bro
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hello i am a stupid computer thingy that does stuff
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Hello. Welcome to portal. I will be you guide
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Avast Fluttershy's Ass.
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Hi Ivar, your are Polish and I will kill you. Soon
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This is level first. Izotope live
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Hello, I'm fucking idiot
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hello moron
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My name is D.J. Drain-OH!
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Maybe it is a raw sewage container and you should go rub your face all over it!
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Well, what did you expect, genius?
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I want you to open this jar of pickles.
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Oh hi. How are you holding up? BECAUSE IM A POTATO!
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welcome to big happy family melo
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prepare to die.
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PASTAAAAAAAAA~!
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Welcome to your worst nightmare.
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You're a Loser.
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Just give up already.
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Just quit.
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You're not a good person.
Download11/21/2011Not recorded
Good people don't make it this far.
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I like cheese
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Hello Joeline
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Export Complete
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Please note, every time you vaporize a companion cube, God kills a kitten.
Download11/21/2011Not recorded
Hello Reuben, you can't code, cause you are intoxicated
Download11/21/2011Not recorded
try our new product The SOMA BOOTH it will really change you life just look at these happy customers
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Terezi blushes and pouts. "Aww hey."
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Hello Alan. suck my hairy black balls.
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Saray Martinez is so fat.
Download11/21/2011Not recorded
Calle doesnt know a shit about Portal
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Hello Calle doesnt know a shit about Portal
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I love you, Shayla.
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hola pinchi gun pod haver si esto te gusta
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Hello there oliver, congratulations on being a loser
Download11/21/2011Not recorded
Hey u got a new message
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I want you to die meatbag
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you need a life, really need one
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Her specimen has been processed
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Since you managed to assemble the pump within the required time, you will be rewarded with cake
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the love will find you in another dimension
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error code 4o4
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What the fuck is going on!!!
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Ich teste diesen Generator
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sed
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Hello, you will be screwed !
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My name is Amrut Mahapatra
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Test de voix pour glados
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Dysgeusia
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Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid.
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We are anonymous. we do not forget we do not forgive
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Hi Ghady
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Oh joy. You]
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You don't even know how you got here, do you. No matter. You're not leaving until you complete your tests.
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Heloo NAd askdjlakdjlaksdj
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Hello. It's nice to meet you.
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You are a sad, sad soul. I will eat your face off. l o l , is that what you humans use to express laughter on the so called interwebs ?
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
hey ugly hey hey come to this web site
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Hello.I have sent to you a new message.
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hey check out this web site glados.biringa.com
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check out this web site it is galdos.biringa.com
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hello jessica how are you
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hello jessica how are you. I love your long, wavy hair dancing in the moonlight. And Shannon too. She's pretty epic.
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Do you need any help? I can help you in many ways, Exeter by the fact that I can not help with tasks where you need physical strength. if you really need that kind of help, you should think about working out more.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
how unfortunate you ae both disqualified
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Hey there Big Boy
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ME GUSTA
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vao se foderem
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vao se foderem a firma aqui e fornecida fortemente seus vascaino de merda
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WE ARE GOING TO DIE!Cool.
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Happy birthday, I decided to throw your cake in the incinerator as a present from me to you.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
fuck this world
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Hello I thought you were dead
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you were created to be a moron
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I'm so hungry I could eat an Octorock!
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you got an incoming phone call mate
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alert take cover incoming cruise missil in ten seconds reach the extraction point before it explode
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
yo mate whats up hope you doing well and have fun take care and see you soon
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
Hello, I am GLaDOS, would you like a muffin
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go go go
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HEY This is DJ LIL GUY ON 94.1 WLEG
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welkom to epicradio you listen to nick aka djsuperhero
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ff
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Are you even .... stop that why you know what shut up NOW i know you cant speak so umm..........
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Why are you fighting me you know your going to die
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
You are a bum nose
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We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land
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We're sorry, but the son you are trying to reach does not love you.
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NIGGA, PLEASE.
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kurwa wstawaj
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You blocked me on Facebook, and now you're going to DIE!
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Hi object no. 13527! I am GLaDOS. Take part in my test. Get up and go to work. Hurry up. Good luck. Ha ha ha ha.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
Hello, and welcome to this video, which will probably be on my facebook. This audio file was made by using a TTS Website. Its link is in the comments. I will come to your house and bun you to death with a lazer. NIGGA PLEASE.That is all. I am a potato.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
The enrichment center would like to inform you that you have a new message.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
Greetings clone 21113888
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i guess you really like to test. for science. you monster.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
Hello guys, I have a message for you: "You just lost the game.".
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
Welcome Zack To Windows 7 Here Have Some Cake
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bluh
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You are such a looser.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
You are a duck
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Turns out that two people died that night. There had been someone else in the building with that pig.
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Dj Ron Exclusive
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Emile Heskey
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Dj Ron Exclusive clusive
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Welcome back, Trojan
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Good morning. It's time to wake up
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Oh god,its that bird!Get it away!I take back what i said about you Chell.Help me!
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Feed me
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Ziemniak
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I have a monkey for shoes.
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hello who are you what is that what is that
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Hello. and. again. welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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Hello humans! Ready to die?
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I'm Glados. There is gum on the floor. This looks like a.... sticky situation.
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Lets do this!
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Wolf
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Hello there human
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So now all who escaped death in battle or by shipwreck had got safely home except Ulysses, and he, though he was longing to return to his wife and country, was detained by the goddess Calypso, who had got him into a large cave and wanted to marry him.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
Hello there. I am GLaDOS of the Enrichment Center, human. You have to pass a series of tests that unfortunately that will not be explained. You have to figure it out yourself.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
What is love? Baby dont hurt me dont hurt me no more
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I hate robby
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hi yoshi
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hey, ich bin breit, und du?
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You have a reminder, oh great one
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Sup
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Oh yes!! Fuck it yeah!! In the Hole!!
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hey, you, ugly fat girl with the glasses.
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Hi eric, just wanted to say bruce and I have spoken and i agree that you are a massive douche
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ninjabob9999
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Hello Nathan. I am GLaDOS. Prepare to be exterminated.
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The cake is no longer a lie. I am sorry for originally planting that message. If you dont believe me, procede to black mesa for the pie, which is the truth. The thing over there that looks like an incinerator is actually a teleportation device.
Download11/22/2011Not recorded
hey baby
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What are you doing? its time to get up.
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Hello, my name is william
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Achievement Unlocked
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Hello. You Monster. Nya nya nya nya nya.
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Woopwoop!
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Mister Miller Mixtape
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test of GLaDOS voice generator
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Hello, welcome to back to your Computer.
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Goodbye, see you next time.
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Thank you for calling Infraworx. If you leave your name and number we will get back to you within the next 24 hours.
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Hello there, i will kill you. But first, there will be cake.
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hello, im going to kill you. But first, there shall be cake
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Hello, you are going die. But first, there shall be cake
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its you i have ben bizy being pooing
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after the poo poo the big tolit went boom boom
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Excellent
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noobs are good
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Hello is Mieke there please
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hello i am amy
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your cat smells like poop
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Lets play some tetris mother fucker
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Sorry I couldn't make it to the phone
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My name is Artem
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Welcome to the Aperture science go fuck yourself facility
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harlo~
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you are going to die down here
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Production Masterclass
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hello and again welcome to
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cheddar down hedgehog
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Welcome to epicradio you listen to nick aka djsuperhero
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hello and welcome to die
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Welcome back Daedulus
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Annexe
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This is a triumph, I'm making a note here great success
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Do not question me.
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hello C J we meet agen
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Hello Jens
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Hello! My name is GLaDos and i will kill you if I were you.
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Hello Lanky!
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i have no idea who glados is, i would like to hear the voice though, thanks.
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Once upon a time on the edge of the woods lived a little girl
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new email message,purhaps there will be cake
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I like waffles.
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Pick up your phone, you monster.
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Stroll through the labyrinth and jump on the orange box.
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i am glados nice to mean you
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Hello , And Welcome To Boris Voice
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Hello , I Am Boris. Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla
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This whas a triumph I'm making a note here huge success
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hello if you do not complete this test i f your live
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i am no wheatly but i am glades you weirdo
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You Fail!
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<<<<<<<//waaaaah
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i am GLaDOS and i love cake
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Love Peace and pross perrit tee
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Hello, and welcome to the Gizmo Tech Bot guide. I am your host, Sonya. Lets begin.
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hi tommy
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i love boobs
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Hallo ik ben berend
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Alert ! The system has been compromised. All access will shutdown. Leave the area as soon as possible.
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THE DEMON SNAKES!
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hi tomy!!!!:)
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You know what? You are worthless.
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Boom!! Headshot!
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I LIKE TRAINS. *VUUUUUM*
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This was a triumph. I making a note here : HUGE SUCESS. Its hard to ooooverstate my satisfaction
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hello man, do you remember me. you want some cake ?
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you have recieved a message made up of many bits of data that you cannot possibly fathom the importance of
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The movie you are about to see is fucking awesome
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Failure to read this message will result in the destruction of this phone in 3...2...1
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hiya
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Deleting this Trash file in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Your file has been deleted-
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Abel eat bananas
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today's lesson is on common musical terms in alphabetical order. aayy is for arpeggio. b is for bass. c is for cowbell.
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letta is a professional liquid kaka engineer
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Dont try to shutdown GLaDOS
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Hello robert, I have cake for you
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Hello, test subject. My name is GLaDOS.
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Hell, and again, welcome to the aperature science computer aided enrichment center.
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Attention, you have, an incoming message
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Do not do that!
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you are recieving a massage consisting of many bits of data that you cannot possilby fathom the importance of
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where are the peels roshelle
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im talking
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ola! como vai voce? hoje eu quero matar muitos noobs. noob 1 noob 2 noob 3 hahahahaha
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Hi, my little pony, my little pony aaaahhhhhh
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your next song will be playing in a little bit
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your next song will play in a secound
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hello my name is james finnegan
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Hi Lena
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Aperture sciense computereaided enrichment center
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Dj Ron Les Go
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You know, you could probably do something useful if you didn't put all your time into that piece of shit civic
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its been a long long time
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You have new message i think you will want to read that
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Hi, Im Glados, what is your name?
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Activating
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Humans are too weak. Gerbils are better killers.
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SNAP ON
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Hello Annaliese
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Hello there. I am having so much fun eating cake.
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You have reached Anthony's phone, I tried to kill him with a pit of fire.It was fun. Do you want to leave a message? Well I wont let you!!
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I love you. That is what this card says. If only it was addressed to you.
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You have reached Anthony's phone, Do you want to leave a message? Well I wont let you!!
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bonjour a tous
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bonjour Mops, comment vas-tu. Moi je vai mieux...
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Hello actinium, we must kill you for the sake of science
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I require your potatoe to be checked often. If you do not do this, I shall punish you.
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I have a face. My face is very sexy. I think we should make out because you are in love with my sexy face.
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Hello TJ. i want to lick your butthole.
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Hello. This is Troll Nekkid from the chats. Why do I listen to amiliana? because she is so delicious and moist!
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hello stacie
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The Enrichment Center reminds you that disorderly conduct will result in punishment. Your punishment will consist of either a demerit, an office referral, a detention, In School Suspension, or any other punishment deemed fit by school officials.
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i want to have your man babies bizz nicth
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Your lips are the wet of my blood. Without them I bleed dust Your voice, the rhythm of my heart. Without it my ventricles lay in silence Your touch, the nerves of my fingertips. Without it I cannot feel Your embrace, the light at my center. Without it I s
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the balls are inert
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Hello Andrew. You have a call.
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Hello Athena. You have not used the Aleks Math recently. If you don't do your math you won't get any cake. So think about it kid.
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Hello Daphne. I saw you dancing in your panties again. If I have to watch panty dancing I won't be able to make any cake. So do you want to dance in your panties or eat cake?
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That guy is calling you again. Why don't you just answer your phone and tell him to stop calling? Tell him you'll hunt him down if he doesn't stop calling you.
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I have mastered the sacred art of gibbersih prepare to die
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Hello ian
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Hey, You Suck.
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James, what the hell are you doing over there?
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On the first day of Christmas, my true love lied to me. Now he's dead. Merry Christmas.
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Shields failed
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We are anonymous and this is the news you were not meant to know. Recently 4 new forms of tear gas, these new forms or tear gas have been causing anaphylactic shock and convulsions
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Very nice minecon you have ther
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Hi Lucy! Please kill me now
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Hello. The person you are calling is currently, well you should already know what I am about to say. Why should I give any specific reason? For all you know, she could be enjoying some delicious cake.
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9 2 a 4 4 7
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I have mastered the sacred art of gibbersih prepare to die now
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I'm GLaDOS. A potato
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hey you! yes, you! I see you have recently purchased an iPod. how is it working for you so far?
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You and your co-op science partner are once again awoken and assembled for a dangerous new mission. Did we say "dangerous"? We meant routine. Everything's fine. That slight note of terror you're hearing in GLaDOS's voice is probably just an audio calibrat
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Hippos are cute
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hello and to the subway food and nourishment center.
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hello and to the subway food and nourishment center. please wait while one of our many skilled scientist makes your sandwich designed specifically to your taste buds. while you wait may i interest you in some of our delicious and moist cake?
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mitchell mason likes boys and non females
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i dont want to do this ish
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Hello! Welcome to the Aya experience.
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Hacker
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i am glados. you are not. hahahaha! you know how i bribed you with cake? how gullible, and giving the human race is, to make a test subject, by offering nothing but sugary waste, as a reward, so obviuosly i tried to burn you in a fire, then you MURDERED..
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You have an e-mail from squadron leadership
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You have an e-mail from flight leadership.
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You have an e-mail from G C C S.
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You have an e-mail from T B M C S.
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You have a e-mail from applications systems.
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zero one two three four five six seven eight nine counter
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My arse is bleeding
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FLAMES DASH DEE JAYS
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dj vijay
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jelmer, how are you still alive
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settle doon
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retrieving data from server
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sujoy tomar call ta receive karo .
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sujoy a call for u .please receive this call.its urgent.
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What the fguefuie, is that you Chell?
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Your message will be synthesized when it moves up to the first position in the queue
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what you say everybody when they found over the sea billy come on elephant that dried a baby
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Welcome to Norwegian Cruise Line
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Hello Babis how are you doing this afternoon?
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hello i needn your...help em uh kill your self
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I HATE YOU SOMEMUCH ... TIME FOR THE NEUROTOXINS
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Justin just blow your speakers off!
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NO STOP! NO,NO...NO,NO,NOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo.
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odkins aim la beat
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I see you Why are you here?
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the drivers have entered the clockwork circuit. what r u still doing out here
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happy thanks giving
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Opening or Executing file.
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hey man! what are you searching here?
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Mad scripter's lab
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hello my name is not glados and i am a cupcake
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You broke my heard and killed me
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get lost
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ex ray inventions for science
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Now parading Shane Dawson T V
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Let's continue testing
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Being so connected to the fashion world, H&M has always been inspired by the limitless talent that comes out of the art and design field.
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I am still alive... But Now I only want you gone
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I have a voice.
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Weeweeweeweeweeweee
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Hello, test subject tk489, and welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center. Most of the tests you perfomr will be fun, but meaningmess with a few esceptions, just like you're life.
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Attention to all employees: As of this transmission, all Aperturer Science equipment will be rendered unusable around and below Section C, Test Shaft 5, 1986 Test Subject Waiting Area. This is due to an outbreak of REDACTED. Thank you for your cooperation
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Anita
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Well, I can speak on my own again. It's time I've found new test subjects...
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this is a voice
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hey girl heyyy
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hello long time no see
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Do you have what it takes to be America's Next Top Model?
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I don't really think that we must do the second part.
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anyways, this cake is great!
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Please Awnser your phone call
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Speedy Thing goes in, speedy thing goes out.
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it is dangerous to go alone. Here take this.
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Sander potters is zwaar gay.
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Dennis is fat
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Jules Verne, Ignition Command!
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Good Morning You Have Been In Suspension For 16 Hours And Have Been Revived To Continue Normal Life
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Welcome Sophia.
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It's 10PM on the East Coast, 7PM in the West! Standing by.
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Jules Verne, Guidance Converged.
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