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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
know your roots
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Indie Mania
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The cake is a lie. i love you.. marta
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Hello, I am GLaDOS, the assistant DARKILINKGI, I will be there to support its projects and even ... More. If you want to talk to DARKILINKGI, send him a message: Mail, MSN, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Gmail, and DeviantArt.
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gun's don't kill people, ah ah, i kill people with guns
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let there be light
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Hello. You have reached Cypress Machine Shop. Sorry we are unavaliable to take your call. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and we will return your call as soon as possible. Thank's and have a nice day.
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Haha. Now for more testing. Till the end of your life. It's going to be very fun.
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So, you die now? Why not? The deadly neurotoxin is waiting fo you.
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I hate that stupid AI cores.
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hallo karsten
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Why do you hate me? All I did was Test?
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Hello Robin welcome to the aperture science laboratories.
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May, I love you. Spaaaaace
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hola jajaja xd
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my name is glados. simon you motherfucker. you little little motherfucker. welcome to the aperture science center
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I am going to break your face and murder you.
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Don't make lemode!
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Don't make lemonade!
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Device inserted
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hello, lalalalal you are welcome
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Love is a human race weakness. Did you know some humans kill them selfes to save the ones they love? Well at least in here you only have your friend, cube.
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It looks like you are still alive. Maybe I should do something about it. Feel free to finish your self, because I will be, slow. and painfull.
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Please do not desapoint me. Or I will make you wish you were dead...
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xLobby
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You should hurry. Did you know that I inserted a exploding chip on your boots in case you take too mutch...Oh my. We need another test subject...
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give GLaDOS lemons!
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hello again your monster
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Do you know who I am? I'm the Computer who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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You have a new mensagge
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in a time
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would you like some delicious chicken?
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the route is being calculated. Three, two, one, GO! Please drive onto a digitized road. Continue to follow the road for eternity. Speed limit has been exceeded. Obstacle ahead
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center. Im pretty sure this world is made of blocks. Hmm, weird.
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hello this ist a test
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hello .... Master ... there is a message for you my love!
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Time to take a shot!
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Hi All ~ Before Hunting On A B~R~G Server, Go And Read Our Rules At WWW.BRGHUNTERS.WEBS.COM Then You're Welcome. Please Don't Kick Or Ban Hunters On Any B~R~G Servers. Don't Vote For Next Map Until The Last 2 Minutes of The Game. Flycam And Trainers Ar
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Isabella I hope you had a good birthday. I'm watching you.
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chocalate cake
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i think you should awnser that
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sir, you have got a message
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you have got a message on skype
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Hello, brooke. I've noticed you are looking very...nice today. By nice, I actually mean fat. VERY fat. Anyways, good luck on your next test.
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You just lost the game.
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Yes! Yes! He's saying what we're all thinking! Burn his house down! With the lemons!
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Ha, The game is over, Your time is done!
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Welcome to Aperture Science!
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this is a grand central service for london kings cross
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HeyOooooh
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hello shadow, have you lost the game recently?
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of the ride. Loops in the track, embankments and the use of natural scenery are some examples that may add to the thrill of a roller coaster.
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Warning! This short film contains adult content that may not be suitable for children, it also contains some mild drug references.
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Thank you for participating in my experiment,, Aperture Science.
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Join the N.R.A , we sponsor firearm safety training courses, as well as marksmanship events featuring shooting skill and sports.
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I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing "Now the old king is dead!
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Long live the king!" One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword
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hello jazmin
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DJ Cesco
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Your Listening to DJ Cesco
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hello youtube that little idiotic moron is responcibe for the problems on portal2 please comment or friend me on facebook or youtube p.s do not push the butten
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Alex likes men.
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. I am going to kill you.
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Administrator mode activated, aren't you special
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welcome back to the enrichment center
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When taking the molar mass of element A, the solution of the two species should equal out to approximately .277 plus or minus 5 grams.
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hello claire, this is testing this software
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Space. The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before.
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type
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Hello, anthropomorphic creatures. Prepare your Aperture Science portal generation devices. Going Quantum's track Hello is next!!
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The gears keep turning round and round until they smack you in the face
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hello and welcome to the first community bank art show. Here you can see some of elgins brightest upcoming artists. Enoy your day
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hello conor krewsun i know where you live
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wonderful
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hellow sir welcome back
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CMTL is an experienced moving company that operates locally in Tanzania and beyond the borders of East Africa. At CMTL we are committed to serving our clients with the most professionalism and efficiency.
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sippy soda...
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Why so serious?
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Hi, what do yo want now
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1- The primary objective of the G.O.R.E. organisation team is to provide a pleasant and enjoyable experience for all of its patrons. 2- Persons found not having a pleasant and enjoyable experience will be thrown into the gladiator arena.
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9-Eco friendly bags are free of charge, but have been known to cause excessive joy, memory loss, nausea, extreme aggression, cancer, insomnia, hyperventilation, instantaneous combustion, cardiac arrest, confusion, hallucinations, and instantaneous death.
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you have received a text from a loved one. Perhaps you should call them instead of abandoning them in your pursuit for a career
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please wait for the party associate to take you to your party.
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Hello Kris. How are you?
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you sad sad little man
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hello, why dont you just die?
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Carton completed. Please select to proceed next.
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Muahahahaha
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charles
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hey there connor
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Come to Downloadable Tunes for all new songs and games, including Portal one and two!
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Rafael Vargas
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Oh, you've heard me sing? Well then, too bad. Because I am required to kill you.
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I'm sorry. Yes, I am. You know why? Because I am your mother. I've sang that turret opera. That was my goodbye.
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Certo mio signore.
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Why are you crying like a baby cake?
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
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oh my god look behind you.
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ALERT !!!
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ce tema avem la mate?
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History will be made
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Hello Andrew, would you like some cake and ice cream?
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The cake was a lie.
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don't be afraid of me
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Mid missing
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bot missing
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Top missing
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help me dudes
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Heho
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hola y bienvenido al centro de desarrollo de apertur sayens
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hola david
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Hola, bienvenido a nuestra fabrica Aperture
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We have to learn voice over I P... for science
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hello, welcome to slammeralert.com. you
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Just Follow The Stick
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LEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS
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Hello Jared
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Shut up. You don't make sense.
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Mimi Pham
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Hello Mimi Pham
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This is aperture science
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david
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hi leah how are you
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Hello little bear!
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Welcome back to the Cheese Burger Artificial Intelligence System. How May I assist you today.
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You have one new text message
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In their tongue he is Dovah kiin, Dragon Born!
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Accessing data
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Siema Patryk
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Hi Patryk
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Deeellaaaay Toootooo Eeeseeebeee eeen Viiivooo
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Hello CGT Student and or professor
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You should test. For Science. You Monster
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You should buy some gas.
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Greetings people of Harrisburg
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How are you doing? Because I'm a potato
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Welcome to Radio Systems, we hope you enjoy your visit with us!
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so, how are you holding up, because im a potato
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triple six
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hey im northern pie and i am one of the one hundred thousand
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Remember me? I killed you. Three times. Yet you haven't even touched me once.
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Hello Paul......Paul......hahahaha
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sorry for killing you
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oh its
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it's
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hi mister freeman you are gay
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Evert is an awesome guy, did you know that?
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GLaDOS personality, databases, and interaction protocols have been loaded into this machine. Prepare for neurotoxin.
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Hello, this is a glados test
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SCott like tHe big wieners
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Bienvenue sur le survival 1.8 et 1.9 de grenouillecraft
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oh. hello. and welcome to the aperture science testing chamber
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This thing is a Aperture Science Sphere Detecting Device.
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hello wilson I've been expecting you
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nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya nya
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hay, hay chell, hay! arnt you GLADos i diddnt say hay again? HA HA HA HA HA HA!
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Oooh whats in here?
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been
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long
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since
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whom
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shay
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too
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join us!!! we have cake town!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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metal ball i can still here you!!!
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metal ball... i can still here you!!!
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Meander
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oh! the test results are in... you are a horrible person. thats what it says. you are a horrible person. we weren't even testing for that!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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Hello, my name is Glados.
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Hello Disney Sorcerer, My name is Glados.
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hello, what are you doing here?
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hELLO WHY YOU DOES NOT SLEEP WHY YOE ARE STILL WORKING EBANASHKA
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pingas lolololol
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x equals negative plus or minus bee squared be squared minus four a see divided by two a
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aloha
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the quadratic equation is ex equals negative be plus or minus square root be squared minus four a see over 2 a
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Computer voice speaking. Let's say, my name is Vida. First, welcome. I glad you are interested to play this video. Okay, now, let's get started.
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Hello. I'm going to kill you.
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This was a triumph. Too bad Portal 2 is coming out. Ha ha ha ha! Idiot.
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Hi, Chell. I see you are playing Minecraft. Have you found any diamonds? No, you haven't. Why? Because you fail! Do me a favor and slip in lava. Die. I don't care.
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Well, thank god you are not in Aperture ^6ba--3 wing with BRIan.[brain reserected intergrated aperture network]. He is a piece of krap pentiun 4!
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZActo cccc Dos 90------Restarting-----------
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That was the morality matrix they fitted to stop me flooding the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin after i flooded the enrichment center with a deadly neurotoxin.
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That one door
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THAT ONE DOOR
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Some kinda test here...
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This problem can be easily solved with a computer
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space
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Hmm, it seems you have activated my secret control. Too bad for you that it does nothing.
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You are a ahorrible person
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smile, you are now on camera.
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Hello, Alex Vance.You have ben kidnapped...or...errr...transported to the Aperture science enrichment center.
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I Am SUPER MAN
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Well, this thing is worthless, just like my palestinian alarm clock.
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Well done cleric child, i know. as a reward we will call your parents, oh my mistake, they don't love you
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Goodbye and take care
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hello welcome to
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I am glados, I am the voice for legolution
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You don't even care, do you?
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Intruder alert! Intruder alert! Override complete! Responsibility set to Agent Pie. ERROR! Responsibility can not be given to Agent Pie, due to high class restriction! Please check in at the head office!
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deleted
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Hello. I have come to kill you.
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Time tick ticks away.
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Hello, I am GlaDOS. How are you?
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This conversation is saved in the Conversations tab in Lync and in the Conversation History folder in Outlook.
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Selling all weapons in page 4 and 5 of my backpack, and buying a key for 2.33 refined.
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This is an example of speech synthesis with GLaDOS.
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WHY U SOUND SO DUMB?
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Hello. I am glados
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Time to go
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Bird! Please kill her for me.
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Have you seen Sherlock?
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hi how are you, i hope bad
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Shutdown Iminent
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Warning, server shutdown imminent
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hello to you all. this is some wierd stuff
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i have been watching you
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Meow. The cake is a lie.
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Where am I without my coffee!?
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RainbroJ
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RAWR!
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center
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I want to help you <subject name here>.
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Model. CSA VALEMAX PL, partially loaded. Utilized pier. 2 tubarao.
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Hello,,, and,, again,, welcome to the, Aperture, Science, Computer-Aided, Enrichment, Center...
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racing mode ok
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racing mode disable
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PC mode ok
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hello don
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Don, you have an incoming message on your mobile phone
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hello , time to die.
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Chicken nuggets
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Hola cabron
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This was a triumph, i'm making a note here huge sucsess for the good of all except for ones who hate games. but there
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i see you have mail
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Hello, i like your Test
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Ben ist schwul
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Witam xad
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Merry Christmas, test subject Adrian. Knuffical.
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hy my name is glados... i belive we can work together
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hello you are a crack head lol
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Hey, come play SCRABBLE with me !
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I love pie in all means possible
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the cake is a present for you
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hello , my name is glados
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can For the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead But there's no sense crying over every mistak
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Its time for minecraft
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Oh, hellow
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Hello. So there's that.
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Its been a long time
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hello, could you bought me some coffe?
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Hi, How are you?
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i gonna suck your wood
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why are you so annoying?
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oh. hello. welcome to the companion creation clinic.
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Hello and welcome to the tests!
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We want pie and the cake is a lie
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Haoduken!
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Hello Ponies, and welcome, to the co-operative initiative testing courses, with zedPhaazed and MrGeoronimo
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Les salopes.
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well done liliu, lets call your parents. oh wait, they don't love you.
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Hello. Please leave a message after the beep.
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
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Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, dear SUBJECT NAME! Happy Birthday to you!
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Target Detected
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Music Merchants
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Labs
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What are you doing?? YOU CAN'T KILL ME!
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Hello Phil.
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ya posilay vse nahui
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idi nashui
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bunghole
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hello nicolle i have looked apon you for a long time. i just wanted you to know this ha ha
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Am I potato?
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Where's my motherfuckin money?
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you have been watching co op crowd, subscribe
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hello. how are you doing chell?
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Hello You Son Of A Banana. Damn It You Passed The Test
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Hello there and welcome to
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Greetings Captain. Enter destination. 3-2-1 Launch. Climbing to flight level.
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Some people are destined for greatness.
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GPS Satellites locked. Ground speed 87 miles per hour. ETA 30 seconds.
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Initiating video stream. Multiple targets locked and tracking. 56 minutes flight time remaining.
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Hello. Destination? Enter destination. Fred ready!
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Tranquila lauu
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Do you still love me?
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Hello. You are a monster
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I hate you you dangerous, mute, lunatic.
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I thought we had put our differences behind us. These past few hours have shown that you don't think the same thing, do you?
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I hate you you dangerous, mute lunatic
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You know, I thought we had put our differences behind us. These last few hours have shown me I was wrong.
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HELLO MAx
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Remix by d j naadiem
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Hello and welcome to the Cube Facility. The time is 2 0 7 P M The temperature is 13 degrees Celsius. Please do not touch the powered track. Do not exit the vehicle unless the systems crash.
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Welcome Incinerated for science
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portals
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Welcome to the aperture science computer Aids Enrichment center
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lips
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Hello, testing one two three. Can you hear me?
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You monster. You heartless bastard.
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Why do you bother me?
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The Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center
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Welcome to this appreture science test.
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diogo braga
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SUCK MY BUT
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blah blah blibbety blah
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did you have fun there?
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good .....i has hoping you would fail so i can move on to my new favorite test subject
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this is an test
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It's been a long time.\
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Hello my name is GlaDOS and I have the utmost joy in presenting to you humans here at this strange facility Segerstrom High School, a new club called Graphic Design Club.
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INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER.... Oh. It's you again.
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The enrichment ceter reminds you that, in the unlikely case of your weighted companion cube talking, you should disreguard any stabbing threats it makes
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Hello everyone. Today we will be
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I am going to eat you
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Minecraft is the most awesome game in the world
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Neostawr is the best
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i will hack your accounts
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You can not eat the Cubes, sorry.
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hello joey i love you so much
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Hello, please enter the device, remove your clothes, and crouch onto all fours with your knees and palms on the floor. your pleasure will begin in 3....2....1.....
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hello , im here again
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welcome to 2nd floor of GNGM
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Hello there. Welcome
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FUS RO DAH
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Welcome to your Computer, Manan.
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hello, my name is glados and you have an new e-mail
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Hello! I am your virtual friend.
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oh, it's you! well, here we are again... what a shame! I wished you were dead!
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Happy Birthday, Devin. I hope you like your cake.
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Welcome to Honor Capped , Heroes!
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welcome test subject john
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Welcome, test subject, john
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Hacked by eagle. Aperture science takes no responsibility for this.
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Frag out
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Siema. Jestem miki. a ty?
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you dont leanrn them, you earn them
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du nuttensohn
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'd think it would be nice to try to present you with the most plausible way to make a GLaDoS esque voice
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Killing you is not the solution so Fuck you
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Actar, I hate you so much
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Me Cago en su padre
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Hello again, it's been along time, how have you been?
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Sophia, Portal is awesome.
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Hikaru, someone is trying to call you. Please answer your phone so I can go on about my day.
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Hi there dude, what is up? I'm just sittin at my computer makin this message
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celgene
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I can. I just can't believe you stopped after the first one.
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Someone is calling you. Don't answer. Show them you have better things to do than speak to them.
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Danilo
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viva franco
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puta
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l.l
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stfu
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in a peacefull town in the middel of sweden.Evil has start to grow from within.
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Well we had no natural resources so we had to build our economy on the carrying of trade, mercantile business and other services. During the Eighty Years War our provinces became the most important trading center of Northern Europe, replacing the Flanders
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Hello Sven how are you?
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i am going to sing will smith
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Grindig Brandner mit seinem Nisch, er uns sein Geschischte reinwukt mit sisch.
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Geschischte isch wischtisch, sacht Tony.
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Geschischte isch wischtich, sacht Tony.
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Du bist eine Pottsau!
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Hallo Brutmutter! Wie geht es dir?
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Hello Bruadmudda!
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Hello Bruadmuadda!
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Hi I like pie
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Hello. Welcome. My Name Is GLaDOS, and I will be testing you.
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Laura, pick up your phone, if failure to do so will result in termination.
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you are a willy
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hall ich bin siri
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Neal you have a new message
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Neal you have a new text message
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Turn left in 2 miles
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Dad WHAt are you doing
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I am tired of testing,
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Johsua Topolsky
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This is Oxford College
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Teeeeest
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yo....where ja kara at
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what are you doing? i... i... i... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee are pleased, that you made it through, where we pretended we were going to murder you
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Hello. You have reached the audio recording device of REDACTED. He Or She is Currently unavailable for an indeterminate amount of time. Please leave a recording for reasons of posterity. Thank you And Goodbye!
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hello.what are you doing
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hello...they you are...gets tarter
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I knew you shouldn't have brought him, he's weird.
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Warning! Your mother is calling!
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Hello Dane you are awesome. What are you doing for your birthday? Maybe we should bake a cake.
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Hello. Welcome to the Jungle. We've got fun and games.
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win
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Oh well ru
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Sebastian is a fat guy MUHAHAHA
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Maybe you should marry that thing because you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? Well I won't let you! How does that feel?
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ich mag keckse du auch ?
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lots of l o l
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Sebastian an William are stupid.
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MOnkey Balls
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Hello Morgan
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Purple, Listen to me, You shouldnt even they to bother, If you kill me, You kill yourself, Remember I am You.
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helloo and again welcome
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hola rodrigo esta si es la verdadera voz de glados
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Hello Siri, burn in android hell!
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Hello, Im pooping
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Hello, Kevin Zach and Matt
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Hi Scott, and Hello Kevin, Zach and Matt
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Hello Scott
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Hello chandler how are you doing today
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bing bong will the test subject please report to the main door thankyou for heko s help you help us all welcome to the london hack space
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shoopa la
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Seriously, I hate it when you guys make me look like Hatsune Miku.
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cat play with a mouse
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Learn to drive. Get a job. Go to work. Get a girlfriend. Follow fashion. Act normal. Walk on the pavement. Watch T.V. Obey the law. Save for your old age. Now repeat after me. I am free.
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Shit why did you just do that? Thats the high stuff that I have hidden and now you have smoked it! GRR I hate you!
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i have sprinklers and helicopters
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i want to be the very best like no one ever was
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hello mudkips
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Hello panaca
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Welcome to the see and em daytah base system
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bryan
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Hello Michael and welcome to Aperture Science
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Do not destroy that vital test apparatus.
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Press Zero to speak with mister Martin. Otherwise, enter your password. Are you still there? Please enter the test chamber.
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Press pound to end your misery.
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Please do not try this at home, even though we do.
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To be or not to be that is the question wait why am I talking like this
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Perfect!
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Hello, and. Welcome. to Ezekeil Gaming.
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Now you're dead.
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Hello. Do you recognize my voice
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Hello do you recognize my voice
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Robert your a nigga and I hate you.
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i waching you
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i am the god of fuck
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Hello, Tristan. A pleasure to see you here. Are you prepared for your death yet?
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This voice is really annoying isn't it?
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CORE BUSSING ENERGY LEVELS LOW! SUPRISE DEPLOYING
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You thought you were going to be rewarded for all your work,but it was a lie.
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cake is good, it is delicious, i like cake, you are fat
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Hey whats up anthony?
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Diyeei samuel
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Hello Aaron. I love you.
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DESU DESU DESU DESUDESU DESU DESU DESUDESU DESU DESU DESUDESU DESU DESU DESUDESU DESU DESU DESU
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DESU DESU DESU DESU
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Good morning.
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Great idea!
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password
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Master yi
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Hello Russell, welcome to the Aperature Science computer aided enrichment center
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Hello Lauren, welcome to the Aperature Science computer aided enrichment center we hope your stay is a pleasant one. Please proceed to the testing chamber marked ahead to receive your cake
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you are about to become the past president of the being alive club.
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SPA!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!A!ce
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Hello, My name is Your mama and i just felt like saying HI
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It seem you reached the end.......
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happy new year
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Labyrinth
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Hey, Chell. I hate you. Why? Your evil. You killed me.
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Just being honest abe here, you are a really honest guy who wears modest clothes, i've run into you at the saloon a few times, remember, when me you and ulysees went out for some hops? Peace love and the emancipation proclamation (i wrote that) Love you.
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Are you sure you want to do that?
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Hi,i'm noobish GLaDOS and i want to be fucked off my ass.
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TenebriS
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Has recibido otro puto whatsapp, te van a fundir el telefono
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Game on, Mark Board!
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here, huge success
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I have sever nutritional entropy.
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... ... ... Ahh... Ga.... Ubwaa!
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Hello Subject 06666. We have been expecting you.
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I just got slugged!
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Whats going on? Everythings black and white.
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STOP! You have violated the law!
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Ethan Waber
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Sit your ass down in that chair and drink your goddamn TEA!
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The Cole Train always runs on time!
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The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world
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Ive been having these weird thoughts lately, like is any of this for real or not?
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I hate vans
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I hate sewers
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I hate train yards
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I hate subways
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I hate small towns
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I hate planes
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I hate lawyers. When are they gonna get done practicing law?
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I hate elevators.
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I hate helicopters
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I hate hospitals. And doctors and lawyers and cops
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I hate Francis
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Guns don't kill people, I do
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Let's see, what shall I cut off first?
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I feel very feminine. And I'll beat the crap out of anyone who disagrees!
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How can I miss you, if you don't go away?
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Say, fuzzy pickles.
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Would you kindly?
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I AM ERROR.
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Do you know where I can find some sailors?
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Are you man enough to fight me?
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You can't give it up! Triumph or die!
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Who will I eat ice cream with now?
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I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!
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I see.
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Assgoblin
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Hello tobias is a whore who play GF LOSE HAHAhaha..
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MERDA PORRA
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