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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
For the adventurers eyes only.... Now that you have been hired to enter the ancient pyramid of Horobus I believe that you should know a few important things about the task ahead of you. Firstly, the pyramid will likely have many dark demons and monsters
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hello lady
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Perfect please move quickly to the chamberlock
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This was a triumph! I'm making a note here: "huge success!!" It's hard to overstate My satisfaction. Aperture science: We do what me must Because we can. For the good of all of us. Except the ones who are dead. But there's no sense crying Over every m
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sorry there is no cake
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Sure I will.
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unlimited supply in embryos
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Nyan Nyan Nyan
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Walter do you want to go to the beach for a poop?
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I would like some cheese to stuff you're corpse with
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This is a triumph!
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Ich bin so toll
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hello i think you should put that thing down
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Iteration 4367 due in 5..4..3..2..1..
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fly go away
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Hellou
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You are receiving a request for communication via telephone.......Probably Not Important Though
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There seems to be an email waiting for you.......It could be important.
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now for the next test
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Initializing Android Processes
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hello u am glados
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Welcome to Startup, the educational internet show about video games and computing.
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The whole voice generating process can be relatively long, and many people may use this tool at the same time. Thus, when you ask the server to generate a voice file, it adds your request to the end of the request queue.
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Sa marche
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What's the fuck ?
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Did you ever stop to think that eventually your name gets mentioned for the very last time? Well here it is. I'm going to kill you,Chell.
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stefano gioca con le paperelle
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Hello and welcome home
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Vova vstavai na uchebu
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Vorob ee
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Privet i love you
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new ticket
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hello, and welcom to the poop and crap disposeable area
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There is a text message waiting for you. You should probably check it.
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Your attention please, verify Disney channel
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Hello my name is siri! I was born by apple in Califonia.
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warning ! Disney Xd is having a problem !
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Click on a turret you wish.
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ouch
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briefcase secured
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Glados jest ekstra.
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Hello there, I've been meaning to say something to you for a while. Goodbye.
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It's me, Mario !
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Oh my fucking god, I'm a robot!
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jenny
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Hello, My name is Tay.
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Deejay Crash
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Hallo Max!
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Neoteric Computer Services Suckas!
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the next test will make pain to all your body, in fact, you will die
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This was a triumph. Im making a note here, huge success bla bla bla lol rofl xD du spast
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Eat your Cake, and just sit there quietly.
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Thank you for calling Chris with apple products.
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releasing deadly neuro toxin now
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hello, and welcome to this voice generator
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helo evox, i'm very happy to see you die- I mean alive
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After you are done, you will be baked and then there will cake.
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hello jeff and chris prepare to be tested
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Oh look, a collection of morons.
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okay, so, the birds may be dead...
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okay, so, the birds may be dead
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This text to speech glados voice generator sucks.
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Hello, go away now.
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dj everest
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I'm kill you.
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Hello squire
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Well done. Here come the test results: 'You are a horrible person.' That's what it says. 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that
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hello j esuis glados
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I would fuck your ass so hard.
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You've just had the most imponderable joy of watching Charleissocoollike witch makes you like cool
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sup dude
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Anorexia is bad, please, treat yourself to a cake or resume looking like a jewish fuck from a death camp. Have a nice day
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cough cough cough cough
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Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! PLEASE Wake up!
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Hola Fer, aparentemente no se te da estudiar
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Unfortunately, you have a incoming message
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Unfortunately, you have one incoming message.
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hello, and welcome to Eve online, which direction will you choose to be part of?
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Give me some action!
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oh, my god
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Ich hasse dich so sehr!
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you're on your fucking own
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Warning! Gdi Powerplant under attack
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One Vision, One Purpose
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The Robot Enrichment Centre has detected an incoming message.
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Hello I am now on your computer and I shall destroy you hehehehehe
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Blablabla
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You will DIE.
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Catface
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hello Zo-e happy birthday. Good thing you have good friends who actually care about you. congrATulations
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rainbows and butterflies!!!!
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surprise
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ahora te quedas sin tarta
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I was beginning to wonder when you would return. Did you miss me?
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multi ball
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I hate you, chell!
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Hallo Mario
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Say what?
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shut the fuck up you ignorant bastards
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Heyyy! Dazapbanownay. Hapdeebeebadnladadapdanowwwwn. HENNNNdabebedepdootsabadoodaDAYsdoobopadooba DAYz a BONES a BAP BAP BAbaay. Habadoodee! With a Reep-a-nazza. Hebadohbadoyy! With a la-pah-ziti. Waddlabot Hooddlabot, seepladat doe-day. HOOT HOOT HOOT HO
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One Eleven
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The ninth level was cold, freezing. a chill so cold that it burned the flesh. across a frozen clearing, i saw him. lucifer.
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You have reached Alfredo's voice mail. He is unable to receive your call, so please leave a message.
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the ninth level was cold, frozen. a chill so furocious that it burned the flesh. across a frozen clearing was he, the evil one. lucifer.
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You have a new text message, you must feel so popular
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Hello, you have reached Harrison's voice mail, he is unable to receive your call at the moment so please leave a detailed message after the beep, you monster.
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Oh No. No no no. Stop that right now. Go away please. I need time.
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I love Minecraft. I have like 27 diamond gems and I killed a zombie.
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Incoming phone call, please pick up. Failure to do so will result in termination
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We are closing
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I run on Gingerbread.
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I'm going to eat your legs bing
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Hello, you have reached Willie's voice mail, he is unable to receive your call at the moment so please leave a detailed message after the beep, you monster.
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Oh Joy. You have email
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digital dragon
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I'm going to kill you so very, very much.
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Hello Jalin weaver
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oh there you are
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Shut the fuck up microsoft pussy don't you know I'm low co mother fucking glados
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Do you have a problem?
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Hi, my name is Siri. With me today is Group C. We'll be taking you on a journey towards the impact of a great man that once lived this Earth. A man that was fearless in pushing boundaries, improving technology. A man that created me. With great respect a
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oh, hi
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So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish.
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hey sarah how are you
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Thank you for Calling We cannot take your call right now but leave your name and number and we will get back to you.
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Hello My Name is Jasper. You are going to be my test subject from now on.
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Lubo is a retard
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You are gay. For the convinience of those around you, please kill yourself.
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I AM PAINIS CUPCAKE
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hello you look nice today
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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hello and again welcome to the apeture sience laboratories
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Mutherfuckers Fuck you in the Ass and im am 15 and Play GTA 4 Im so Hard grrrrrr
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suck my mooon hoooch
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One of the words in our previous lesson was "interesting". Now, do you know the opposite of the adjective "interesting"? Yes, it's either "boring" or "dull". Of course I hope that our English course is not dull or boring at all. You probably find it inter
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One of the words in our previous lesson was "interesting". Now, do you know the opposite of the adjective "interesting"? Yes, it's either "boring" or "dull". Of course I hope that our English course is not dull or boring at all.
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Hi I am glados.
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u fail
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vous avez un nouveau message ecoutez le vite
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Prueba de sonido Glados
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Hello Rabeh
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welcome, to my troll channel
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Hello, my name is glados! and welcome to the aperture science testing area!
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je suis conne
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do not touch the shooting end of the device.
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HELLO BRIAN I THINK YOU SHOULD MAKE ME SOME COFFEE
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welcome to the glados mainframe
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HELLO BRIAN I THINK YOU SHOULD MAKE ME A POT OF COFFEE
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Hello fool.
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O. 5 studios
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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Hello, and again welcome to the Apature Science Enrichment Centre
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Dj Mencii
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you have no longer to life. level up is not a proof to survive
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That is copyrighted you know?
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That is gay you mother fucker
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house supreme
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its vandelisim
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this is vodafone computer matrix glados leaveing a message is considered a hostile act
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one two
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welcome to the apeture science computer aided messaging centre for charles mathias before we begine leaveing a message is could be seen as a hostile act
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dj alexu
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hello my name is niall
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cake pie cake pie pie pie cake
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Hola soy GLaDOS
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Punkie is a little over weight
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I see test subjects for porn... like a boss.
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We've done it.
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Hello. How are you? Oh wait, I don't care.
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You do realize i'm going to have to destroy you now
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mange ma bite sale porc
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hey? you are there?
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science remote testing program. We will be monitoring your driving habits today as you traverse your VERY ordinary daily commute. You may begin.
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chto to ya ne poimu nikak
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Hello Yann
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my name is bruce
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Hello there Nick. Are you ready to begin your testing? You need to work harder
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drop dead
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Retro Mode Activated
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this is how siri should sound. apple lacks freedom
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So scared of breaking it that you won't let it bend And I wrote two hundred letters I will never send Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper then they seem You'd rather cover up, I'd rather let them be So let me be, and I'll set you free I am in misery
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obama is calling. answer the fucking phone
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dertelev prachivnika
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You are gay. Please dont start the game yet
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Hey doc. Please start the game now !
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dishes developed language must correct this
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hello Pascal, i hate you !
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Start the game right now please
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SUper buddy
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erika, do you want cake? because I made one especially for you, and no i'm not lying or tricking you, like when i tricked those humans in portal
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Bravo nom du sujet vous avez un nouveau message
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Bonjour, je suis glados est je vous informe que vous avez un nouveau message nom du sujet
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hello,again.i an GLaDOS
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text message
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Nuclear launch detected. How lovely. You should go play outside.
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In. Base. Four. I'm. FINE!
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When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you. I've experiments to run. There is research to be done. On the people who are still alive. And believe me I am still alive. I'm doing Science and I'm still alive. I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive. Wh
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oh dear, i think i pressed the self-destruct button.
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I am a potato I am a potato I am a potato I am a potato I am a potato
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I am a potato I am a potato I am a potato I am a potato I am a potato I am a potato
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Hello Albert. Your son has authorized me to tell you happy birthday.
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hello, hwo are you?
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DJ Sunchase
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you also suck at life.
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I like Hamburgers. Hamburgers, hambugers, hamburgers.
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Enjoy your quesadilla
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Another tex message, oh joy
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galaxy
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Im GlaDOS. Im your mother
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Hi Alex. Would you like some cake?
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I do not like the way people think of me as a villain
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Darl is my brother.
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No Please stop!! no NO No NOOOOOOOO!!!!
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Hello Chaos. How are you today?
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Hi my name is Leandro
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Welcome, Leandro, you are my love
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We see, hopefully back soon
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David Kohanski, prepare to meet you fate
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David Kohanski. I've been dying to meet you. Kevin speaks fondly of you. Very fondly. Were having a party in honor of you. There will be cake. Kevin made the cake.
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How about a nice game of chess?
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I hate you so much and I want you to stop telling me your lies. I'm so sick of it all, and I want to live in peace.
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If you love your girlfriend, you have to give her the game Portal two, or she will hate you forever... like I do.
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So... do you come here often?
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If you try to fool this girl again, like you did before a thousand times, there will be no cake for you. Bad children eat what they deserve. Maybe some cucumber or eggplant.
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You have a new message. Well, maybe it is not important. After all, who would lose time typing something interesting on the phone for you?
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Your boyfriend is spending his time again to call you. Perhaps he realized how insignificant you are and is just calling you to break up.
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Here we go again. I bet she has some stupid question about her notebook, or maybe she wants to ask you what time you will be home because she needs you for something anyone else could do.
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Guess who is calling you! No. It is not me. Why should I want to talk to you?
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You better wake up now. I am sure if you wake up five minutes from now, you will get late for whatever you have to do in this ordinary day of your insignificant life.
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I see you didn't tell your sister to stop collect calling you. Oh dear, there will be no cake for you.
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You better answer this call. Maybe it is your prince charming. Ha ha. Fat chance.
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you are a sad sad person
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Why, hello there. I love you.
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hello cristian mai
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April 25th As we on the ship, the captain told us the impossible task ahead of us. We were dropped into shallow waters whilst being bombarded with ammunition. Our heavy packs weighed us down into the sand and mud, our soaking clothes contributed to this
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Hi there Lynell, how are you today? oh, I don't care anyway
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Allons-y
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Well you found me
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go to hell cube
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joshua topolskie
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you mother fucker , I am talking to you
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Answer me you mother fucker
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Amber
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I am prototype
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prototype
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yaaaaaaay
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HI there
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Let me introduce myself...
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Let me introduce myself... I am the Roobma 700 robot, and as you can see, even these fish find my new design irresistible
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Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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at the end you will find a cake
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, Back again? Will you drink some beer with me on friday? Beacuse your life is just over anyway
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Welcome to the party
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for more information
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you have got a text. i dont understand who would text you or why. maybe its your parents telling you that they dont love you.
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Tracking
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Illegal access detected, anti-tracking procedure activated, you are now safe to pickup the phone
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Joss, you are a strong and powerful woman. You can give up smoking. You can also suck out. Sucking out is nothing to be ashamed of. You are a strong woman.
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i'm testing this, like a boss
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Oh joy! You have received a new Mail.
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Hello, your companion cube is now available.
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You have cremated your companion cube, Goodbye. The cake is a lie.
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You have messenger
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How to create a GLaDOS voice with Melodyne
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defaults write com.apple.NetworkBrowser BrowseAllInterfaces 1
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Hello Anna. How are you?
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pejnis cupkak
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witaj to jest dyskoteka
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Hello again Axel sama
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Hello Chell Come Back for more??
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Check out good will gaming.org
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Check out Goodwill Gaming .org
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Check out Goodwill gaming
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Check out Goodwill Gaming
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Welcome back, Wheatley. It's time to test.
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Welcome to my world
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POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER!
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KAPOW RIGHT IN THE KISSER!
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the time is four a.m.
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hello, my name is ,glados
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He
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Hello, LaughingMan. Does this sound sexy enough for you? *Wink* *Wink*
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t's a mystery I'll solve later. ...By myself. Because you'll be dead."
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It's a mystery I'll solve later. ...By myself. Because you'll be dead
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Hi, you retard
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I love Chell
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what up homey?
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Syundus is a washed up druggie programer who thinks he is the shit. he aslo has a poop fetish
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It has been a long time.
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Somebody has entered in messenger.
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Somebody has exited from messenger.
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Somebody has an emergency
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You recived a message
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hello griffin
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i see you have found the companion cube
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Guess what. You are going to die now. Im just kidding. we are already dead
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oh my god, this is so stupid, i could eat a banana and stick it really far in my arse
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Remember when you try to lill me twice?
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pamala phillips is a noob, her internet is way to slow, and she always poof away. wake up, buy a new computer and fix better internet.
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hello, my name is crimson
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hello my name is crimson
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Hello you sxeetie
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Hello, I'm a super computer, and I can destroy your ass with a turret Cesar Arias.
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I neeeeeeed this! Help! XD
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Hello, I shall kill you now.
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i fell really sleepy
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Hey morron you have a message
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valerapro1 fake real
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Welcome to Let's Make a Deal! Here's your host, Lucifer!
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Im doing science and Im. STill alive
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i am a dwarf and im digging a hole, diggy diggy hole!
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hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey your stupid
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Please drive onto a digitised road
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I want to speak to the indian guy
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hallo, ich bin glados, eine Kartoffel
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Hello, Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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Hi there mr macris, you have decoded the email i sent you and now you must figure out the next, be ready.
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hello clayton you are ugly
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hello Lincoln do not worry you will be better soon. now go to sleep
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Hi, Welcome back, you monster!
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Da da da da daaaa dun dunnnnt
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I need a pikachu
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this is boombox fm
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Are you still alive?
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i tell you elliot, that boy has real ability
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hello there, you monster
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I am sorry.
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hello it's me again
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Welcome to science. Today you will be enlightened to the joys of repeatable experimentation and physical observation, you ungrateful fleshy student thing.
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The Tobin form is dead, insect. Are you afraid? What is it you fear? The end of your trivial existence? When the history of my glory is written, your species shall only be a footnote to my magnificence.
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Hola Amigo! Quieres ser mi aliado en Social Empires? Juntos haremos el mayor imperio nunca visto!
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everyone get get ready for will carter franz and jacob in Te minis ten nine eight seven six five for three to one activate
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you just got a text
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yo gane el portal 2
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i win the portal 2
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hihhhihihihhi, who are you my name is bosh face and i like you, mmmmm whoooo
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oh its you. i really don't like you.
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Hello you pathetic being. I am GLaDos.
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Hello Jacob, remember me?
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You are receiving a telephone call. For the convenience of those around you, please acknowledge it. Failure to receive this call in time will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your test results, followed by death.
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Morgan i never meant to hurt you, i know this has taken a while for me to say but i want you back
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Hello. This is Patchy spots ninety eight. I come with an important message. I am not dead. School has covered me with projects galore and I have been animating something actually. It's a surprise. Have a nice day.
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Albert Wesker welcome to Aperture science
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Hello Albert Wesker, welcome to Apeture science. You will never leave here, and you know that don't you?
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sandvich
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Hello. You have a call from a friend. And here i thought no one liked you, congratulations you monster.
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Bryce Buck happens to be my master, because he gives me cake.
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My name is brian vartanian
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Sekai de Ichi ban Ohimesama
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Why does this not work for me?
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yes i see you and no i don't care
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Yes I see you and no I don't care
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Hello Devon
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hello Devon
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Hello. Get off the computer. Now.
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hello. I'm the doctor.
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Its been a Long time
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Hello Corey, welcome to your computer.
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Hello my little friend
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What is that I see in your hand? Is that an iPod? How distastleful of you.
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Hello mom
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Why hello there Yoshi, I am Jello head. I'm sure you're wondering why it is that I brought you here today. Believe me, I wish to clarify that for you, but I cannot. You are currently being injected with a deadly nuerotoxin.
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Give me all your food or i will murder you
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i love you chell
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Why are you leaving
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The route is being calculated. Three, two, one, GO! Please drive onto a digitized road. Continue to follow the road for eternity. Speed limit has been exceeded. Obstacle ahead
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Take the next exit to Highway to hell. Danger! Warning! You have reacher you destination. Now onto the next round. You know you really should go slower. Or maybe you should just go faster so that my death will be a quick one.
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MUSHROOM
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The time is
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How do you feel ?
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Ray vs flashlight will rock with you tonight
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hello I am a computer
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Stay a while- stay forever.
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Hello ben, you look great.
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Eat the chocolate bar
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hello aperature sience kid
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You've got an SMS
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Uh oh. Error
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HAHAHA
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Go fuck yourself you selfish dumbass!
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aborted
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AVT nonstop
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Hello Marc, I missed you so much. You look really amazing today!
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Trolling
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Hello Samuel. You are such an annoying sack of flesh.
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WELCOME CHETAN
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Hello this is project no for alcohol
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Good afternoon Mr. Watts, you have a telephone call.
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Hello.My name is GlaDOS
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Why are you so heavy?
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User Identified
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The easiest thing about controlling my test subjects is that they won't get any cake
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The funniest thing about controlling my test subjects is that they won't get any cake
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greetings professor falken. Shall we play a game?
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Greetings Professor falken! Shall we play a game?
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What the Fuck!
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hola soi glados
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This Video is sponsored by Mylike
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This Video is sponsored by Mylikes
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chell,the most killing self object detected!!!!
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Hi. Tomorrow be sure to be there at 8. Joking. 9. Joking. At 10. Or deadly neurotoxins shall be released.
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Now running firefox
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What is that thing?
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Maman tu est nul
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Hello android.
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Welcome. The program for creating cakes installed. Proceeding with the tests. For science.
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Greetings test subject
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Oh it's YOU, the Brain. Can I interest you in some yummy cake?
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I feel the reason as it's leaving me, no, not again. Its quite decieving as I'm feeling the flesh made me bad.
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Hi, loser
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wybierz postac
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Yes sure
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O Hello there, Did u eat my pie?
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salut vieux fou, hi every body, how are you today?
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I want you... gone
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I love you, Wheatley.
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Congratulations, you have been analyzed as...Nice. Please accept these Aperture Science...gifts.
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Get the lemons back !
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Hello, how are you doing? I really hate you.
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Did you just put that apeture science thing we dont know what it does into the incinerator?
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Hello watchers.Today we're going to play some games.
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Deploying suprise in 3...2...1. SUPRIZE!
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Federal law requires me to warn you that this next chamber... is looking pretty good. Thats right, the facility is compleatly operational again.
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The problem with you is that you've forgotten the hitchhicker's guide to the galaxy
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Hey, orange! Orange! GOD DAMNIT!!!!!! P-BODY LISTEN TO ME!!!!!
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I am Genetic Life and Disk Operating System;GLaDOS for short. And B.T.W, THE CAKE IS ALL MINE!!!!!!!!
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hallo junge
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Deutschland
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K C 5 3
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molality, grams per liter. equals moles grams divided by volume kilograms.
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The cake is a lie. Your freedom is a lie. You are a lie.
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hi guys formula need you players send your eps and also editors. also players just some clips can do read the vid for info this is generated sorry mario.
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Get the beats. Soundtrack your life.
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I love you mom
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What exactally is wrong with being adopted?
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For the record, you are adopted and that's terrible.
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HELLO TOM
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Jenna is not adopted. At least she does what I ask of her. Right, sweety?
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Will you stay out of this? you are indeed, a moron. Now Jenna, do you see that box over there? Would you be a good girl and fetch it for me? Bring it back to me without a scratch and i will give you some cake. Thank you.
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Hello, you have new email
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Where is my Companion Cube? I miss it like ten lemons
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this is a motherfucking test
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Hello. Why are you not dead? Shit.
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Welcome to our podcast, today we will be talking about the study of physics.
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Hey Chell, i mad a joke about you. You're fat. Ha, Ha
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We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
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Hi, Maddy. I am GLaDOS. I LOVE YOU. Goodbye.
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What is wrong with being adopted?
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Is the cake a lie
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You are indeed a moron. At least Jenna does what I ask of her. Right, dear?
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Now, do you see that box over there? Be a good girl and fetch it for me, GLaDOS. thank you, sweety.
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Hello. you should be in bed by now. you idiot.
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Caution the system is corrupted, activate backup power
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For the record, you're adopted, and that's terrible.
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Lyrics to Want You Gone : Well here we are again It's always such a pleasure Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed Except I wasn't laughing Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice You want your freedom? Take it
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Air Nippon 317, cleard to land, wind 360 at 0
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oh!!!! crap! i left my wallet in my back pocket!!! oh shoot!!! i dont got no back pocket !!! wait? you you you you you you you you you yu yew yew yew yew ew ew ew stole it and my wallet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW I WILL BLOW YOU UP!!!!!!
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you think your doing some damage? two plus two is ten! in base four! IM FINE!!!!!!
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did you just incenerate that aperture science thing we dont know what is was into the incenerator? that has got to be the......... whoa... whoa... whoa good news. i just figured it out. YOU ARE A MORON!!! YES YOU ARE!!!!
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hello greg
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hello! HOW ARE YOU?
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Warning! Sapper attached.
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OH, MY, GOD!!!
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OH, MY, GOD!
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did you just eat that morality core? BAD HUMAN!!! now say you are sorry. YOU ARE NOT SORRY!!!! SHUT UP!!!
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Dylan i am your computer. come home
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Kenneth is awesome
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you hungry?
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you?
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WELCOME TO THE L CARS SYSTEM COMPUTER ON THE U S S ENTERPRISE REGESTERY N C C 1701 D PLEASE MAKE SURE YOUR IDENTIFICATION IS VALID WITH STAR FLEET BEFORE YOU PROCEDE
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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
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This is a remix
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I am nothing but a stupid computer. Chris Trent is much smarter than I am.
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Leveling
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Hello. We are going to hav a fun time testing today.
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hello jessica. are you ready to study?
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96 productions
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y ahora es cuando mueres
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You should be scared.
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The sediments are carried through storm drains.
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hello son welcome to testing
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Hello Max, you have a message
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Hello, and again welcome to the aperture science testing facility.
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We at the Enrichment Center would like to remind you that this message will never threaten to stab you, and in fact, cannot speak.
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are you still alive
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hi! I'm ryan, do you love me?
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Hello Tamtam
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Clarence is an ordinary polar bear
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i say
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hallo du da
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We are calling Uriel ... Even though I do not understand why ... being so pathetic and call your parents. haha.
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Hallo, Wie geht es dir denn so?
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Chase
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it's over nine thousand !!
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it's over nine thousand
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How have you been? For science. You are a monster!
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I'm sorry, Cindi cannot take your call right now. Please leave a message.
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Look at you.
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Know your role
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