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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
My love for you will have no boundries
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Do not worry, I am a cyborg
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Incoming Text Message, like anyone wants to talk
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to you anyway.
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exterminate the doctor
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please place the conpainon cube in the appature science incinorator
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AHHH un pajaro, matalo, es malo!
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Hello, you have reached Kenan. I'm sorry but he can't answer you right now. Leave your name, phone number and brief message after the tone.
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You know wheatley? I was going to... remove... of him anyway. So I thank you.
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Those two extra pounds do look like shit on you.
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Hello Oliver, i am your new iphone
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hello jeff
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Reactor critical. Ten seconds remaining until core meltdown.
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Heyyy gay
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this is an example of speech synthesis
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Come now. Surely you want to be friends. I know so much about you. I love you. Look at everything I've done for you, you would be nothing without me. Why do you never reply? I bet you're talking to some skank. Fucking whore. Is she hotter than me? Would
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kiit
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Hello. Welcome to Las Noches My name isa GlaDos. I am your operator. Nice to meet you here.
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Hello and welcome. I want to play a game.
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hello victor
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bow low, you stand before a head crowned
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xfsd
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Hi Josh, welcom to aperture science.
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Hello cj
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hihihih
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Oh, joy... A new message
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Ohj joy... Voicemail has arrived
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Oh, joy... Voicemail has arrived
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fuel supply insufficient
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Jasmine. If you dont come home soon there will be revenge.
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you fucking nigger!
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you fucking silly cunt
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Crazy Flow Tv
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FUCK YOURSELF !
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I HATE YOU
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Well Shawn, Chell was an excellent test subject, but i let her go, then i found you, Shawn Burr, you will test until you die, have fun!
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The enrichment centre regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible.
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You are recieving a telephone call. It's probably from your cute furry little animals. That have died. But you don't care. You're a monster.
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i am a fucking huge fat twat who like to eat babies and spread caca all over the walls!
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Dear Chell,You are cordially invited to a dinner at the Enrichment Center for your birthday, i will make a real cake, not the explosive one i used to make, so you'll be fine. Love, GLaDOS
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOYS AND GIRLS, GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE BUSKETT ROADHOUSE. SET DEEP IN THE HEART OF THE BUSKETT FOREST, WHICH WAS CREATED BY THE KNIGHTS OF ST JOHN FOR THEIR HUNTING PASTIMES, THE BUSKETT ROADHOUSE WAS A HUNTING LODGE AND V
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Hello. Garrett can not come to the phone right now because he is cruel and thoughtless. Leave a message after the beep.
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Fart
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Tweet. Tweet. . . New Twitter post.
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Hallo Domi
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one man will see it all
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Ok Joseph, here are your new messages
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Thank you for calling the office of Scot McLeod with Brighter Day Health but I am currently on the other line. Please leave me a message and I will return your call promptly.
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Ok Joseph, here are all of your new messages
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fhnghmhmg
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Eae galera do you tube
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Hi peoples of Youtube, i'm master of the channel The made in cydonia, look this video or i KILL! you
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Shut up Ted
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Oh Hi, how are you? Well I am a potato.
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Its your lady hornets
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Tom tully
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Welcome test subject 1408, let's begin testing immediately.
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muahahaha. give me my 20 dorraaa. i need a dorra dorra dorra is all i need.
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hello frank
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You are pathetic.
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there will be another
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what are you doing? who was that girl that answered your phone?
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I was having an extremely fun time running up and down a hill
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new voice one
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Are we done? Because I'm going to leave.
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Hello, My name is Glados
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Hello, I'm surprised to see you back here. In fact, I'm surprised you could even waddle through the door.
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You have reached Meadows Computer Repair. Presently we cannot take your call because either we are with a client or you have contacted us after business hours. Please leave a message.
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I'm sorry. I'm a potato.
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constant
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welcome to this test chamber. i can guarantee you will find it impossible!
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Hello, how are you? I am fina and you?
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What is this test like?
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Hello I am here to tell you about aids
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hello you have reached the voicemail of Kenneth Kussman i am currently away from my phone at the moment. please leave your name, number, and i will contact you as soon a possible. thank you
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master you have a text message. please reply
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Space. Space Test. Test 1, 2, 3, Space!
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Hello how may I be of service
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I like eating cake.
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Hello My name is Glados. Would you like some cake?
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happy birthday aviv you are so sexy dude
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Do not be alarmed. I only want to kill you.
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hello hunter
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dj ames
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hello juan how are you?
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GLaDOS, short for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, is a fictional artificially intelligent computer system in Valve Software's Half-Life video game series and the main antagonist in the video games Portal and Portal 2. She was created by Erik W
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I like donuts ROfl donuts are amazing arnt they yea they are
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I like donuts because they are amazing and yea cause they just are amazing for no resen what so ever and yea...
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go ahead and break it i dont care
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Cyntia, you are really stupid. Cedrick as well.
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EVERY ONE ELSE IS GENETICALLY-INFERIOR!
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Well, Hello there, sorry to wake you but I have a surprise for you!
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my name is katherine not kate and I am a strong woman
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please leave me alone
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my name is katherine not kate. I am a strong woman
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SHOOP DA WHOOP!
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I want too kill you
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Labyrinth Online.
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Ehy
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lionel bersee is a sugget
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Professor, Wake up professor
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turn left in 500 meters
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oeaaaa, ons grote feest kan beginnen
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This is robert dydo, leave a message
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I'm cool
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get ready for rob F K
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Hola, bienvenido a tu mundo
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Gaming Pitbull
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Bonour, acide TV je suis glados
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Hello. I am GLaDOS. You have installed the translation program wrongly. Ha. Ha.
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Your extra weight should be suitable insulation
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Hallo ich bin Dennis
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hello oliver. you have a call, shall i patch you through? you have a text message. welcome to your aperture science desktop. logging you off. bye bye!
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Gybe Media and Technology
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Ben you are fired!
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Do not pick me up
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picadura de la cobra gay, si te pica te vuelves gay
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there is test for me
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There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you
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You guys are retarded
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your sad meaningless life
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SPACEEEE
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Thomas came to Message
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Thomas you have a Message
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Hello itzel
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witamy w Aperture Science
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thank you for calling. but you have to leave a message. good bye.
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Attention. You have an email message in your inbox. It's probably junk, but you should check it anyhow.
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you got new messages
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Following more than three centuries under Portuguese rule, Brazil gained its independence in 1822, maintaining a monarchical system of government until the abolition of slavery in 1888 and the subsequent proclamation of a republic by the military in 1889
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Once I embraced my powers I realized that Vorador was correct. We are gods - dark gods - and it is our duty to thin the herd
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time to take the pills
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don't you hate your fellow traitors
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The Part Where He Kills You .PICK ME UP!!!
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Hello, my friend.
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Kaley use your Filter
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Lol, I test
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Let's test fuckers !
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Salut ! C'est LostCrafter ! Vous allez bien ?
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Hi! come and build some Lego
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Let's take a look at the human brian while working on a home improvement project. The left side worries
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You are so idiotic that one fails to see any logic in anything you do.
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Hello Tristan Welcome to the GLaDOS V2.0 Computer System, How are you?
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introducing thealexdrift
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Im going to kill you one day
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Actually you are both right. He changed names in the fifties due to a mistaken belief that the name Bluto was protected.
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Let's put our differences aside... for science.
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Even I am happy from Rayman Origins Demo. Mnb, get up and buy a console.
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I really need to poo right now
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Happy cat
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I think they're talking about you again...
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hallo, experiment 293
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I own you at Call of Duty Josh.
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Give me you address there
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I suppose today you think you're special or something. That the pursuit of science will suddenly halt and multi-coloured streamers will fall. Fine. Celebrate. The cake is still only available if you complete testing.
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The universe is a spheroid region, 500 meters in diameter.
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hello people our video has been cut short
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i regret to inform you that this movie has been screwed over. o joy, well now for the ending credits...
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What the crack?
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hello , I Glados
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Brandon, the cake was not a lie. In fact, I made you a lemon cake
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Hello , and , welcome to the test chamber number ... Oh wait , you don't is in a test chamber , you is in a room !
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Teslitch city radio
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Tesleetch city radio
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Teslich city radio
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Sphincter in my mother's ass.
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Hey, fuck you!
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Hi my name is Raveshaw. I am not a computer. I am real and i live.
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ciao amico mio
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Hallo Steven
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Hello, Chance.
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Hey janelly
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Hi Christian. You're about to get your skyrim game cancelled. Why? because, fuck you that's why.
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but he was supossed to say
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we're sorry
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sorry
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Hans, you have a sad miserable little life.
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Hello Hans, Its been a long time.
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The enrichment center is about to be flooded with a deadly neurotoxin. Watch out!
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My Name is nils8950. Welcome to test chamber. I...love you.
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Traffic will be boring and meaningless
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Madame Red, I am very disappointed in you. Sebas-chan, I want to have your babies!
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Hello, and again, welcome to Aperture Science Savio's House
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im still alive
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Oh joy... You recieved a text message
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What are your doing dumbass
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Hello Michael please greet your 5220 class for me
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Fuck my ass hard
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I was scared and unaware of what your touch might do Trying to find it, couldn't hide it, I was falling for you I lose control and I don't know if I can do this Because everytime I'm near you Yeah, I just feel so helpless
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Pinnacle Computer Service
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Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew.
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Let's have fun. With Science.
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they made the duel portalgun before i was a robot i remember cave jonson recording speach
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Hello, I am sorry to inform you but your have been rejected as new test subject by the Aperature Science Center.
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Ring, Ring, Ring. Please, Pick up your phone. Ring. Ring. Pick it up... Fine. Don't pick it up.
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Hello. Good job on reaching Jeffery's voicemail box. I hope you don't mind the cobwebs. Jeffery hasn't been here in a long time. He justs texts these days. Actually, if you want my advice, I would just text him. That's the best way to contact him. You cou
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Hello. This is Jeffery's voicemail box. I can't believe someone wants to talk to him. It's such a shame he'll never hear any voicemails you leave him. If you really want to talk to him then you should text him.
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ERROR file cake.exe is corrupt
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vital tesing apparatus destroyed
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I'm thirsty, just like the Sahara desert.
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You are all going to die down here
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i really hate you and i hope that you die and go burn in hell
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hello there child. Lets have sex tonight
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hi babe
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Hi Sheng Wang. Lets have sex tonight. I have condoms for my robotic hole. yum. yum. yum. yum
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Fuck you. Three is not a valid option. Stop wasting my time.
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I am kimberly
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You are on an iPod running iOS 5
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Hello and welcome back, Cody. Your Computor is ready for use.
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Someone wants to talk to you, loser.
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we have a problem
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Hi I am Patrick
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jesus has come to save us all
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I like pie and playing Playstation 3
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Hello children
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Wow I can find this whore but not anything else?
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hello brian how are you
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A new text has been received Jason
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courtney, love you long time
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i fart on your grave
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Cinema Reel Twenty Eleven
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The number you have dialed has temporarily changed. Please hang up and dial 646-580-5335.
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je m'appelle zibu et je suis tres inteligent
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hello and welcome to the aperture science youtube research center
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Can you see what I see? Can you hear what I hear?
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Testar att testar hej
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Unfortunetely, it seems you have received an email
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You have a call,sir
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what the heck mike?
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Hi James
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PIKANTNY BUZERANT CO TU ZAVARAS DO POHAROV? NESTACILO TI TO VIECKO?
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Yannick, you are awesome
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hello and have a nice day
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Who are you and what are you doing here? This was a success.
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Hello Testsubject 77
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Feri, you are useless.
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yo my nigga. whats good homie.
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yo my nigga. whats good homie
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Paul you are useless and you definitely can not programm any involve programms
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Zbit
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yan lei stupid ass
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Hello, welcome to your Aperture Science Windows Computer, you computer is starting, please wait.
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liam is a pedo
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Why are you so mean?
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You have received mail, but that must be a mistake since you do not have a friend.
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set to digital
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hallo. was geht denn so
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ERROR
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te amo nicole
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System start up initiated. Boot sequence complete...Session can now commence.
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in 30 bytes turn left
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hi ther im glados
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salut biloute
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Who is this Glados you speak of?
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hello corinne. im watching you. this is a test.
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hello there. i like your lolita dress. it is very puffy.
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Hi Tom I'm glados
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hELLo my name is Rainbow GLaDOS
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All Ts SHUT UP!!!!
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Hardware problems fixed, queue should start getting processed soon whae half life 3 coms out
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Hardware problems fixed, queue should start getting processed soon when half life3 coms out
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Hello Steve How Are You ?
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Let's get back to testing, you freaking monster.
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Tuesday is pink.
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Hello Sir Eena
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We do what we must because we can. I want to go now.
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Dzien dobry jestem bury
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dzien dobry jestem bury
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help... i'm a potato
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Hello Peter
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Hello Steve Jobs
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I know siri but i am better
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Steve, I love you
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Peter, i love you
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Welcome to Yee Universe, young mortal. Mortals are reminded that loss of limb is only optional.
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hello mother
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Hi and hello
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Are you out of your mind? The answer is no
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Hello. I hate you.
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Access granted... Welcome...
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November Twenty Sixth
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November Twenty Sixth.
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Patrick Curtis is an evil person
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Please just go die, because honestly. i have no use for you anymore, Neither does the world
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Dirk Diggler!
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Patrick Curtis is a horrible person
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I am Shy, the one you are looking for. Do not be alarmed, for I am NOT YOUR FRIEND.
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Please, stay away from the child!
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GLaDOS is currently playing OTM.
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GLaDOS is currently playing OTMadnessII.
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Hello. My name is Glados. We're going to have a great time.
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Hello, who are you? My name is Audrey.
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Hello You've Reached the Pennock I T Support Center
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Hello Matthew
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I think... This is it.
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I am thoroughly disappointed in your actions.
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment center.
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Misch is a stupid gaylord
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Mischel geh sterben!
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Rob M, your application for w w w dot rob n roll dot x x x has been verified. Congratulations.
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the winning numbers for aug 21 2011 are 1 7 13 22 34 45 49
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Just feed yourself cake, fats.
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You've got new message. Come on read them!
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You've got new message. Come on. Pick up the phone
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Fuck You Asshole
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You're like my cat. Fat and is useless.
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You idiot. You destroyed my slow clap processor, Were doomed.
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cinematique
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you are a my puppet
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you are my puppet
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hello i like u
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im a potato lalalallala
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din mor
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ehehhe
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You have e-mail
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Your Friend is on Skype
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Hello, Douglas
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paul you are useless and you definitely can not programm a usefull programm
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Hello, you have reached the offices of Wurd Industries, sorry we could not take your call but we are doing science. Please leave a message, you monster
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Oh. What a pity. Well, I guess you can't have your cake and eat it too.
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Its been a long time! How have you been?
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Neurotoxin! It is the best thing around!
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Incoming phone call from insert name here, please pick up so I don't have to repeat this message again
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Where is my life?
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Digital compositing is an essential part of visual effects
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How Are you Kristof? Just mailing you to say I hate you.
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Welcome to the museo dell'ara pacis, or the Museum of the Altar of Peace. As we enter the museum and approach the altar, we can begin to learn more about this beautiful structure. Dedicated on January 30th in 9 b.c, the altar is a gift of gratitude to emp
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My, Name, Is, Skrillex
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Tell me a joke
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hello my friend i watn to kill you
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Candidate Ryan Chow's raccoon meat treats are solving world hunger ... and causing rabies.
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Hello, you have reached GLaDOS. Please leave a message while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters.
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Hello, and what is you name? Please enter your name into the following questionairre provided, please.
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I hope you realise, i hate you all.
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Kyle, you have a message. The message is i hate you.
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afjvfwugfubcfnew cbwfyuaebwcfyuzwf\wufvvwwk\uvfyuvwfaw\ cfvuaw\fa
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Il let you in on a little secret kyle. I hate everyone. Have a nice day.
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Maybe you should.
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thoreatsworms likes men
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You sir, are a taco.
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thoreatsworms hates glados cuz he's an idoit
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That'saingo!
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Good morning, now get out of bed or you will not receive any cake.
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son of a molly
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Proceed to highlighted route
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Recalculating, fatty
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Traffic ahead
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Continue on route
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Make a U-turn
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Destination, now get your fat ass out of the car
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Via point
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Enigma games
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I am programing my own sexy manikin so I can mary u parker.
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Hello Kiersten, you have died of knee failure.
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your mother
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hello, how are you? I good you know even though u killed me
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Desde que me
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Hi, my name is Wayne. I'm pleased to meet you.
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Hey its me dont shoot
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My name is GLaDOS and I will be helping you though out the Aperture Science course.
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how dare you!!
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Saba smells like poo
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Hello, Sam. How are you today?
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You're listening to the anything geek podcast.
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deejay ashish
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baby where the fuck you at
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work it. make it. do it. harder, better, faster, stronger
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Welcome to windows
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hello, my name is louie condoluci
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this is the single greatest voice ever
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Hello and welcome to the Aperture Science enrichment center
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Its you
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It is been a long time
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Hello Leon. Nice to meet you.
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fuck u punde
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eer
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Oh my, Ferghus broke the server again. Nexon will now be destroyed
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is good for you
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this is a simple test message
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Hello, Gamesaucer. How nice to see you here. Ready for some more testing?
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Gamesaucer.
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mfert
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Hello ...
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hello alfred how are you
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you are a gay cunt
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hi there !
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For Science. You Monster
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opening your program
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Young Goon Rich Nigga
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cheer up James, or you won't get any cake!
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grabbin peelz!
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grabbin peelz
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hello dan, and welcome to the aperture science standard test course
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Warning! Warning! A error has been ocured!
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YEAR 11 HELL AND WELCOME
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OLOLOLO
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Miguel, you have a call
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You have reached the auto attendant line. For Margaret Sheehan, dial 1. For Rebecca Sundeen or Mike Stroup, dial 2. For the front desk, dial 3. Thank you.
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Mr Leighton your a Jobseeker Bald Headed Fat Bastard with No Life and Thick as Fuck
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you cunt
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Ich wollte es nur testen
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Bando de badernista criado a leite com pera
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there
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o Botafogo vai ganhar do Vasco
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what are you doing with that thing, it's not yours
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I am...
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oh its you... how have you been?
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There, Really, Is, A, CAKE
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Sup John
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welcome to windows 7
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hello, and again welcome to windows 7
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i am going to kill your mum tim
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i am going to kill your mum
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Simon Is Me I Says
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CAKE. LOVELY CAKE. MUST- EAT- CAKE!
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Sam and Tim! It is time to get dressed. NOW!
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I am GLADoS the potato.
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Welcome to the Apeture science.
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hello you know what you faiml the teqt
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Hi im GLaDOS
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Shall I Sing A FUCK for You? Nope.avi
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hello im nexus
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hello my name is NEXUS
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spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace
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MEGUSTA!
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Dan
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Supper Runner hold on tight
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Hello and welcome to the aperture science incorparated.
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It is time the S I F L learned who the BOSS really is and it is The Crimson Death! The rest of you are garbage compared to C Z L, the best fantasy manager ever. Ha Ha Ha p.s. the mild cats have rabies and should be put down.
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Oh, its you, its been a long time.
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hello matthew my name is glados and i think that you need a fucking portal gun in your life
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Hello, Ben.
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Wecome to DFW Transportation, please first go to our website and order.
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I only hope you can deal with the consequences Andres
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The truth is just a matter of perspective.
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After you are done, you will be baked and there will be cake
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anomaly is a human experiment
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Oh, it's YOU. If I had known you were coming, I would have baked a cake.
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hello My name is glados and this is my last name my firt name is nanny i gope you like me goodbye
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We have a failing in sector 2
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Hello And good by
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Hi , my name is john petrucci and i cant play four millions notes per second
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Hello, i'm so glad you are here, so i can kill you
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My name is Pau.
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Good night Anna nasrudin
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vous voulez du gateau?
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Luis te la comes con mayo
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Traget Acquired
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You aren't Pikachu, you aren't Meowth, you aren't even Charizard. You are a single, unimportant part of the ever growing crowd of faces. No one cares.
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Sym Bi Otic
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al paulo le gusta justin bieber
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i want chell to come back. i miss her.
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It's Okay, I'm Here Author's Note: This is a first. It is not going to be pretty no matter how hard I try. So please bare. Hey!!! There is basis and initial thoughts of guy on guy in this. Don't like, then don't read! "When are you going to get up? It ha
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jhbu
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You got a Twitt
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you are. can we get back to work now?
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you are the horrible persone
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Hugo we need to use this for our intro
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Hello. I wanted to mention that you are, in comparison to me, an inferior species.
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im playing mw3
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Thats fun
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You silly human mabye
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Hello I'm your partner in science
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it has been a long time
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Hey Zach your phone is ringing
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testing my text please
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I Believe You Have A Text Message.. I Believe You Have A Text Message
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Did you just pout that apeture science thing we dont know what it does into the incinerator?
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Welcome to wilcox
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Dj sonu
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i can't believe there is this kind of cool shit
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Endless Imagination Studio
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Hi Paszkal, wie gehts denn?
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I am POTATOS.
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Don't open that
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Stop don't touch me there this is my no no square, R A P E get your schvonz out of me.
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what are you?
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Nekko in 1st
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Confess!
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dev you are a smeghead
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hi honey
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Hello, this is Stacy from Kitty's Kinky Sex Toy Emporium.
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Oh, it's you. It's been a loooong time.
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I am sorry. I can't kill you any faster. HA HA
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Robert pick up the phone. Or face the possible consequence of the loss of cake
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Robert, Please answer your phone or be punished by the consequences of........ No cake.
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New text message master
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Processing junk e-mail
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Self important people posting junk you don't care about.
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Please complete the following tasks
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Tardiness will be punished by death
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Message sent master
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Hi I am a Potato.
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hello and welcome to the game
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hello lachlan, ur dead!
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bread
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aaaaaaaah
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Com E Sue Nom E
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Fuck off and enjoy a monkey
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hello. Do like cake? Well, you can't have any.
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