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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Oh, hello. How are you holding up? Because I'm a POTATO.
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FLAMEING MONKEY SWEAT!
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welcome to the nick-clone entertainment you tube channel, feturing guybot 1001. please enjoy whatever progress was made in enhancing the channel so far.
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Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a forest dark, For the straight foreward pathway had been lost
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11010001011100101010001111100001010101010a
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bonjour, je m'appelle glados
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How are you, big boy?
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It felt great being dead
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A ver, descargemonos... sakemos toda la ira q guadamos y putiemos. hagamos la puteada mas grande por todo lo ke se aguantaron. empiezo yo La puta q re mil pario a el puto de de la rua con toda la guita q robo y dsps se fue volando el muy hijo de puta c
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voicemail,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, record your message in
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hello alberto, are you still studying
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Fuck you. Attention, you have an incoming message. Oh Hi. I am GLaDOS. A potato. Hello sir, would you like to know the weather. Hello Logan.I have cake for you.
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I am always watching you. Does that thought comfort, or frighten you?
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im not even angry. im being so sincere right now.
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Press Space To Jump, Left Arrow to go left and right arrow to go right. I Don't Know if you are enough intelligent to understand that. Neverming. Go On.
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Max is so cool
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Vous avez un nouveau message !
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You are kawaii
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Bahabahabah
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Why do i feel like you shouldn't be here? All as ask is for you to go! just go!
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Welcome, my master
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I go to kill you chell
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godbye chell
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what is that what is that oh you are lady from the test
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You have received a new text message from Kyle Hammond. How very sad that you receive more messages from work than friends.
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Do not kill me
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Hello test subject, and welcome to the aperture science naseeno nasello love laboratory.
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You have recieved a new message
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smang it girl
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I hope you know, i hate your family
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My name is jessica, but i call my self glados
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Welcome my little friend
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OH NO! your wife is calling!
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in coming message!
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You have received a new text message from jammie!
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Hello and welcom to aperture science
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Dumbass is calling!
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zomg
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When the night has come, and the land is dark And the moon is the only light we will see No, I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand, stand by me So darlin', darlin' stand by me Oh stand by me Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me
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azerty
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incoming message from dumbass
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incoming message from cuz
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alert alert the wife
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Ya Uporotiy
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Hey, Sarah. I am not a vocaloid! I am an aperture science testing robot! Have you even seen portal?!
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my name is wermil ,but you alredy know that!
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kak tebya zvat
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cytruss pocast part 1 one
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yaayayayayayayayay
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Paul Gura
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Hello. Welcome to the Aperture Science enrichment centre.
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hello welcome to wndows
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hello welcome to windows
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Lorenzo
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MeoTis for the win
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vous avez un message
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the society of the spectacle
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im listening
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spierdalaj
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pa
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Hello, just testing little, of course, you're not talking, oh well, bye!
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Welcome Sarah
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This is an L B production
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welcome Kristopher____windows is starting
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pay by check
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good bye___Kristopher
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hallo hier spricht andi
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Yes, Adam, yes you are a geek
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jakub dworzanski to bot
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oh joy
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neptone
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ALERT!!!!!______your computer is now scanning for viruses
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I am glados the awesome
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oh great
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ghost
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What's the point of your life?
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ola daniel
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elliott woodage
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use black mesa aperture science sucks
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Yes master.
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wow, you are so beautiful
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its bin a long time william hav have you bin
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oh well, this is true
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Welkome
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szetmdz
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I LIKE YOU
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you should have just listend to me
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The video has ended. Please do not hesitate to press the like button and proceed to subscribe for the next release. Thank you and goodbye!
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welcome agent eduardo
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hello, this is your God speaking
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Hello there. I am C3PO, not GLaDOS. Haha. Fat chance. Emancipation grid.
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system scan activated
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system scan complete virus detected
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hello ashly, how are you today?
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hello sarah, you look beautiful today!
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system scan complete, virus detected!
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goodbye ashly, have a wonderful day!
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good bye sarah
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good bye sarah, hurry back, egypt will miss you!
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system scan complete
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Hello? my frend
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You have reached the voice message bank for Chris morrow, He isn't availbale right now. Please leave a message after the tone!
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Welcome to the aperture science lab
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asif khan
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Laser Course, by Black Shadow.
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Garfield is poopy
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Hello my name is Jacob
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Bartosh Zukhovsky
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anthony, you are a whore
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Hello you have reached Alex,please state your name,number and reason for calling.
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Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!
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We are America,. Get with the program.
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hello and welcome to the Aperture science computer aided enrichment centre
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dfhd
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Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate mission-necessary equipment has been replaced with supplementary items. The Computer apologizes for any inconvenience, and wishes you the best of luck.
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Hello and Welcome to the Aperture Laboratories, and then there will be cake
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Do you wish to file a complaint Citizen? Complaint's signify unhappiness.
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its my money honey
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uh oh. I think I have to take a crap in the aperture science research toilet. Shoot.
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EL CUBO
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Toppy Tops!
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What is up homie
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Hello, Ian
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hey this is not ok bogart, you are a rare human.
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Hallo, das ist ein Test. This is a test.
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Aye, Sir!
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It's perfectly normal. Heck, I'm a girl, and even I have my fair share of blow up dolls and big dog t-shirts. In fact, I have recently commissioned a team of top scientists to re-anime-te Sakura from that show. Source(s): One Piece. Miyazaki. Wolf's rain.
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Je t'aime petit con
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Don't belive me! Here, i put you on ".." THATS yOU! THATS yOU!
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I suck the dog
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Je t'enmerde
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Do you like waffle? Yeah we like waffles.
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Would you like to go out with me?
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Welcome back, alejandro
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JEANNE
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Oh, its YOU. Whose life are we going to destroy today?
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it's been a long time. I hope we can put our differences behind us. you monster.
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Death
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In the land of Mordor, in the fires of mount Doom, the dark lord Souron forged in secred a master ring.
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silence. I kill you
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You know, sometimes I really hate you. Like, a lot.
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Attention, you have an incoming text message from an unknown person. If you don't know this person, would you like me to track down and kill this person?
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Attention, you have an incoming text message from an unknown person. Don't worry, I deleted the message to prevent any infection from your cellphone.
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Zama deja de ser una puta o si no Fabricio te comera en la noche
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This is an automated message from the Google Mail Team. We believe that the email account linked to this phone may have been compromised. Please log into you
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Why hello there. Do you like puppies? Well, I like them too. Especially on meat platters
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Test chambers
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Hello, Test Subject. The individual you are trying to reach is testing right now, so leave a message and they shall get back to you as soon as they are done testing. And if they are not dead.
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Hello, Ana, and welcome to the Aperture Science testing area
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Hello. Do you want that Bacon ? Really ? Do you ! WELL I WILL EAT IT !
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Hugson, you can go to die
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forty four days and twenty two nights
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I'm GlaDOS, an evil poop.
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Hello, I am GladOS. I am the ruler Aperture Science. Why you wonder? Well, that's your problem. Now that my meatloaf is done, I have to run to the store and buy catsup. Then later, you'll be crazy. Why are you still here? I'M GLADOS! GET OUT!
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I can clearly see you you know
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Sup Bitces
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Hello Idiot I am your Phone, Please Answer me you Moron.
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How are you today because I am a potato
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Wow, this voice I have here is kind of wierd. Boobs.
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I'm sad
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Hi Megan
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My name is lady gaga
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I'm sorry, i killed your dog, and now he is being used for science.
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You will be destroyed!
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Hey look a test text.
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Oh great, a text from griffin
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Hi, i'm GLaDOS, and i have taken over your phone, please answer it now or i wil erase all of the data and you will not have a phone anymore.
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Oh Hi. I am GLaDOS. BECAUSE I AM A potato!
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN
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RING! RING! RING! ANSWER YOUR PHONE CONOR!
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This is nice.
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dj nigz nigz nigz nigz nigz
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Hello kids. Would you like some candy? I got plenty in my van. Shh, come here. I won't hurt you.
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Good morning, Tim. It's time to get up.
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The Arts can enrich your life, and make a positive impact that spreads through the community.
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"The Arts can enrich your life, and make a positive impact that spreads through the community."
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hi its Jonny
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Happy birthday. I would have given you a cake but seeing as you are overweight I figured you didn't really need it.
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OH WELL YOU CAN EAT SHIT....Maybe Rainbows
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H.E.N.T.A.I.? is this some sort of.....OH GOD!!
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H.E.N.T.A.I.? is this some sort of.....OH GOD!!
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Welcome back. All systems are operational. Did you miss me?
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Hello my name is GLaDOS! I an AI which is captured in a potato!
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Hello my name is GLaDOS! I am an artificial intelligence which is captured in a potato!
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Hello, Nicholas. We would like to congratulate you on your requested enrollment and interview today. You have made a fine choice, and a lasting impression. Fine, indeed. You should be happy here. We may even serve cake.
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Hello stranger I'm so happy to see you bastard
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Fabien, Claque ta Chatteuh
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hi its april Doyle I don't feel very well still, I've got a real bad head and im so so so sorrrrryy
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Start up completed, welcome back
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We finally meet, Faris. or is it your real name? i cant decide by my own because, well... im just a robot unlike you, ignorent human-kind.
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oahu
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vous aurez du gateau
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Welcome to Aldo's PC
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Have a nice day, Helen
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let's play some call of duty
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complexification
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hola gente
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dj david
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Tal, are you enjoying your MacBook Pro? it's made out of cake...
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Bonjour, je test ce logiciel.
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i will kill you WITH MY GU.. GU.. GU......... CAKE
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I SHALL KILL YOU WITH BUL.BUL.BUL....CAKE
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co zrobic co ci napisac, kolezanko, abys przeczytala to bardzo ladnie, i chuj i kurwa
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7AM waking up in the morning
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Three months of winter coolness, and awesome holidays We've kept our hoovesies warm at home, time off from work to play But the food we've stored is running out, and we can't grow in this cold And even though I love my boots, this fashion's getting old
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Hello im you Mather
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You have a new message. It's probably just junk, though.
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Welcome Tone
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Goodbye Tone
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Time for you to die now.
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You twit
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what is siri ? nothing I'm GlaDos and the world is mine ha-ha-ha-ha
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Space, space. I'm in space. SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
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Orange, orange! Hey P-body!
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Hello and again. Welcome tooooooo - ERROR-
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You have received a new E Mail.
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You have a New Message From Sarah.
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Hello turret. I am your leader. so DONT SHOOT!
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Your Mom has sent you a Message, How Sweet.
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where is the portal
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mikolaj nubisz
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i love little cute cats
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Oh hi so how are you
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Weeeeeeeeee
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Because you put me in your phone, I have to notify you that your phone is ringing, for the fact that this is very annoying, Vibrating and waiting for you to waddle over and pick me up. So I'm going to repeat this over and over, So yeah
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Soma Landing Boarding station.
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Warning. This computing device will start now
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j'aime les frites
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hey monica
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Brock: Do you want to drink this condom full of my cum? Tracy: [stands up at full attention] Yes.
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Sean is a god
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XMEN, Welcome to DIE!
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Please refrain from touching any of the walls, or you will be shocked.
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Hello and wellcome Edd I am Glados and I will help you through your Miserable Life!
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Why hello there. How are you?
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Sorry, but the party you are trying to reach is off taking over the world. Please try again later. oh, would you like some cake?
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Witajcie studencji wsnhid. Korzystajcie z serwera godnie ku chwale wzbogacania wiedzy. Pozdrawiam Glados.
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I have some sad news, your data was lost.
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Hello, again. Why are you here?
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Hello. How are you today?
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It's 1 hour
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You're such a fool.
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Hello and, again, welcome to the Microsoft Catalog Manager Service
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You are over the state of California. And it would've you're that you are going down.
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Wheatley!
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Eitan, you are a horrible person. That's right. Your power is out and you won't even do anything to fix it. Congratulations no one loves you. You are going to freeze to death.
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I like to play RIFT, i'm GLaDOS
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Happy halloween! I'll see you next time folks :) By the way I will make an awesome video for Christmas! How exciting.
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thatsssssssssssss a very nice eveything u have there
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Hello there you stupid bastard.
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fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
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Hello Lewis. Turn around, I'm watching you.
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ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!! A FIRE has been reported in the building! Please take the nearest exit and meet at your designated location!
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i'm afraid i can't let you do that dave
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[the character has just destroyed part of GLaDOS] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... Ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
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To be or not to be, that is the question. But why would you want to answer a question your kind thought useless. Ridiculed, a genius continues.
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Hello, my name is Toxi bot!
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Hello, you are now listening to Toxi Bot. Enjoy!
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Jack, you are a giant douche and You suck at starcraft. Sorry.
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The number 07543547620 isn't available right now, he is busy telling you that the cake is a lie, but it's not
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Hello. How have you been? Its been a loooong time.
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Hahahahaha
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aperature science operation
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I will beat you to death
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Oops, I accidently flooded your room with deadly neurotoxin
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Hello, Austin
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You again? Why would I like to see you again?
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Happy Halloween!
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Im bored im not having any fun
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god will kill you
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Testing Computer
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Our control point is being contested
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The dub step club bangers portion of this mix tape is now complete. Please reverse tape for a more relaxed dub step experience.
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Hello my name is Patrick Graham!
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Lara shut the fuck up
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testing1324
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Mama Luigi
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I can't believe you fell for that.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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happy birthday will
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I love ellie
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The Apperture Science invites you to be a test member of our brand new equipment: The Portal Device.
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One GLaDOS later...
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Hello, Somebody is trying to contact you. But we all know you don't have any friends. It must be a wrong number. You might as well not even answer.
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lynn is stupid
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I WILL DESTROY JAMES!
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MUST DESTROY JAMES!
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Hello Mrs. Hokestra
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i have no idea what a bison smells like
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Whenever i hear my own voice obey you Sir, i go deeper and deeper Mr Daniel. The hose is the power. Its fun to be brainwashed and lose my mind. You control me all the time.
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hello, and welcome to my room
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A Fatal Wolf Production.
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condor wing touch
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Explodium Yu Gi Oh
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Another way in which the problem of alienation remains relevant is the ability to expose alienation or seek unity through art. Though I can no longer directly interface with them, one of my main interests remains the art of video games, and so I will use
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Wake, Mr. Freeman, wake up and smell the ashes.
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You're face looks stupid.
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Wake up you lazy guy, it's time to go to work, you are late again.
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Logging OFF
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I suggest you pick up your phone...Apparently someone not-in-your-head is trying to talk to you.
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you want me to do what?
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hello amanda how are you?.............make yourself comfortable as i adjust the climate for your enjoment what music would you like to partake upon...........thats nice but......i would rather listen to taylors music.........i thought you would agree haha
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hello welcome to the bebop the leading in apurtures automotive department..............it has its kinks but hey dont we all haha...ha......my names Glados whats yours?......thats a nice name
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Wow. That trick was completely adequate
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The whole voice generating process can be relatively long.
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Is Joe there
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I cannot do that
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welcome to windows seven brian
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you have a text message, idiot
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Kaitlin, i love you
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Hello There San Japan. It is so nice to meet you.
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Now you're thinking with portals
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Draw a Line
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Are you happy now yes well you suck
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Dot dot dot
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There are experiments to run, there is research to be done for the people who are still alive.
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hello how are you david
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hello david how are you today
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Vital Testing Aparatus destroyed.
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muahahaha
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i... am... a... CHICKEN!!!!!!!!
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Zwei
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This is a ballad of a subject named Chell. She killed a monstrous beast but remained in its hell. She was comatose in a room that resembled a hotel. Though it looked rather pleasant, it was really a cell.
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This is a deejay skrik production
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i hate you more every day
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Malina is a jerk as always.
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It's been a while
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bonjour Gustavo
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awderf
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Assassin x 2 is the most awesome
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Hallo Knott
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UP
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down
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The person you have called is temporarily not available. If you like, please leave a message after the tone.
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hey glados
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Bom dia!
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Hello and welcome to Cocytus Crocus let's plays. You monster.
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You Stink
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Vlad, that monster is calling again!
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hello, and welcome to this awesome spacestation
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Hi my name is Moses and i like to play games
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stop calling me all the time. oh my god you are soooo sad
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Hello, Jon, and welcome again to the aperature science computer aided enrichment center. Deploying neurotoxin in 3...2...1...
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Download Complete
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Download complete
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Jamie is a retard
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I want to see how this works
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Congratulations. You have received a new email.
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Dette er en kul test
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the bell rang loudly screeching into my very soul, never had i knew what was coming that gloomy night
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Sup?
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Hello there, Chris is awesome.
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Ich bin Siri!
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Welcome back mister chainee. I have been waiting for you. all systems are operational, and there is cake in the lobby.
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eye laws dig aim
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fgyjjghjghj
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Hello testobject 99812, and testobject 35786. This room will test your cooperative skill.
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I'm going to eat your children
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yo will get cake
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Whilst watching this video from Oburion, you mind shall be succumbed to my universe where you shall be put through multiple tests that shall break your phisical body... Enjoy...
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No School
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jake is a bellend
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hello my name is simon and i like to do drawings
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Attention, you have an impending Reminder.
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hallo and welkom to this dead testing course
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I have a message for you. Please read it... for science...
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Silence , i kill you
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welcome back master Colin
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Hallo Ich bin Paul
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oh hi i 'm glados i love jjay
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More than games!
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Martin is a fat fuck
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Martin is a fat gay fuck
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Jason, If you take me out of your pocket, I'll give you a bacon.
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fgggg
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hello, i'm GLaDOS, nd i will have to kill you now, sorry!
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Tool boy
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I can not believe how stupid you are
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hello kis how are you?
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hello kris. are you surprised?
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Amazing. Even someone like you gets phone calls. It must be your mother. Are you going to answer that? Or must I do everything for you?
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ahh there you are Zero i can wait for us to start testing again
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Similar Artists Deadmau5 Wolfgang Gartner Pendulum Kaskade & Deadmau5
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Get the fuck out InFamous
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Hello Said heroes and villians of earth this message is from the far off quadrant of Nexion where wre you zero? you have left us to be hospitalised by inferior humans, if you find this message zero then leave earth,
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Population: Unchanged
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Weather: Sunny, high 86 degrees Fahrenheit. Present Temperature: 82 degrees Fahrenheit
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Good morning, Doctor Flavenbourough.
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Hello You tube and welcome to yet another chewy99391 minecraft portal video
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Hello there. My name is Glados and I'm going to kill you and eat the cake! Haha stupid moron!
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hello ray, how are you doing?
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Welcome to the aperture science
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Hello, class. I am System Evaluator and Responsive Vitality Examination Recorder, but you may call me SERVER.
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Lyfoon Ready for Deployment
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U MAD BRO?!
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Ceci est un test
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hello and welcome to pineapple science cheese facility i like cheese and so should you this is wheatly using gladoss voice
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Heeellloooo? Where's Bob?
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Hello [Subject Name Here] welcome to the enrichment center.
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why doesn't this work for me?
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My name is jacob
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Ryan sucks all day
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Jabari is the shit
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fook
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Stupid fuckers stealing my fuckers
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Telephone, Sir !
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hello cheel, and welcome to the enrichment center
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testing you
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Why don't you pick up the fone, for science, you moron.
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Why, hello there. Are you ready to have tons of fun?
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Attention ! This is the final call for you to pick up the phone !
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KHURAG drop some heavy beats on these failed meatbags.
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Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone ! Telephone !
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Oh...did I forget to mention that the cake is a lie?
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go die and by the way die ilove you do not leav again
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bienvenue chez saibox web design
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amy got shut down
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Hello Rhiny ! How are you feeling today ? Still got the surf fever ?
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The Unknown chemist is attempting to contact you
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You have reached the voice mail of the person you intended to call. Instead, somehow you ended up here in his voice mail box. If you would like to leave a message, then please speak after the tone.
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Gery agile
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This is a reminder. You have an appointment to keep ! Please check your schedule !
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HI NETO, WERE ARE YOU DID WITH ME?
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hello trace, stealing hunter's girl friend again I see!
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Hello I am GlaDoS
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you horrible insane lunatic
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yoooooo
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I think we can put out differences behind us... for science... you monster.
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You're in big trouble now my friend, no cake for you
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
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tre
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Oh hi, and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center
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Why are you so Silly
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i must kill you, as it is part of a required test protocol, after you die, i will have caaaaaake!
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oversold
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over bought
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Hello... are you there? Is anyone here? Whoa, I hear you.
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joe, im watching you
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Im going to make you wish you could die
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What a fuck?
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Hello Anna i love you uncle John
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why the fuck should i care? oh thats right. because if i dont then ill get explosive diaria. no one wants that.
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I have seen that you have had one of your sexual fantasies. Well I have a message for you: Get a life.
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Welcome to the aperture scienc center
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The Field Ecology test center is pleased to offer you this Sapelo Island companion stick.
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Hello Franky. Iv'e been watching you from a distance for a while now. I've decided it is time for me to kill you if that's okay.
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I'm officially not paying attention to you
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You have a text message. Read it or I will kill you
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Funnel
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head shot my ass
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The Enrichemnt Center reminds you that all Macintosh Equipment are allowed whitin the center, but any Windows PC-based Equipment will be emancipated... permanently.
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I would not call you fat, but your love handles say otherwise.
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Fuck you.
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Hello Fidel. We meet again.
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the techno legend is coming
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Maybe black mesa
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eventualmente
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The Enrichment Centre wishes to remind you to pick up your phone as someone wishes to contact you at this present moment.
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You are in the mix with san antonio new power. DJ POWER UP
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oh, hello there
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This show is almost as boring as you. Almost.
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FUck
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armando
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Marvin you suck
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Marvin you are a horrible person
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We still have the cake
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if you smell what the rock is kooking
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Girlfriend
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Hello there. Whilst watching the video, your mind was secretly teleported to my universe, where you were put through multiple test... Oh. What fun...
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Sentry Mode Activated
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mac sucks
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Please record your passphrase after the beep
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i shall call you...FGSD
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Oh Joy, You have new voicemail
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Long lasting
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hot pancakes mmm so hot baby
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test 123
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Hello my name is Reece Strong
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Jessica Kirk, please will you come to Malta?
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Hello Ben. Can you please quit it.
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Hi. LOL i'm glados.
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Hello. You have reached Loops phone. I am Siri, but you can call me glados. Loop can not answer right now due to neurotoxin but leave a message and I'm sure he will get back to you as soon as they find a cure for being dead from neurotoxin.
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calum stone
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hello there i would like a grande coffee please
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Nada hay bajo el sol que no tenga solucion
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hello dear student. my name is glados
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welcome to this application, meow
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hello ahluk, how are you?
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watashi no koe ka
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Oh my god
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At this rate, our best hope is for the fuel cell to meltdown on March 11 and hope the explosion powers the system.
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Let's just test this
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Fuck me Im Dj Edvin
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You have reached the Voice Memo mailbox, please record your message.
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You have reached the Voice Memo mailbox, please record your message. Thank you.
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crazy
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Thank you for assuming the Party Submission position.
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Scout is delicious
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Oh dear, You got an text message. Your phone will explode in 3. 2. 1...
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i needed to test you dave, for i knew it would come to this
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