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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
Hello Joe. When are you going to lunch?
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Why are you making me do this stupid test. There will be no cake for you.
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Thank you for calling, you can leave a message after the tone, but that doesn't mean I will deliver it to the intended recipient.
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Hello. And you make them eat come for the people who are still alive. Minge
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Hello. And welcome to the aperture science computer aided enrichment centre. we would like to remind you that android hell is a real place, that you will be sent at the first sign of trouble. the cake is a lie!
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wassup
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Hello my name is lonelancer, you will give me all of your money
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Hello, test subject 118765463
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Hello. It is nice to meet you.
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Hello Harry. I am sorry to say but. This is Frances. I am a Robot. I never wanted to tell you but I am. Please do not get mad. I love you. Bye bye.
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What are you doing in there?
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Wake up and smell the ashes Fordon Freeman
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Jimmyon's Channel. Proceed.
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labas portalas atsivers per tris dvi viena sekunde
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Incoming visual information from YouTube Channel Jimmyonger. Content will be ready in: Three, two? one. Starting Video
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es em es dostales
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I'm a slow typer, a so-so writer Been the shit ever since I was an infant in diapers And Imma be dope all the way to the end From the cradle to the grave, the pampers to the depends Get enough love, got enough friends But on a regular basis, it's safe to
Download06/22/2010Not recorded
Now...you will die!
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Welcome Everium,With what might I be of assistance?
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shutting..........down
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I LOVE BIG BOOTY,BIG Booty Bieaches.....OWww....BIG BOOTY Bieaches
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Cat
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Welcome to the Apeture Science Enrichment Center
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mohammed
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I would like to point out that the light at the end of the tunnel is in fact that of an approaching train. Mind the gap.
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Welcome to the aperture science test for the mock one dark matter generator. commencing in 3. 2. 1
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Warning: The light system of this facility will be terminated for a brief moment in 3, 2, 1.
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Hello and again, welcome to the aperature science computer aided test
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Thanks for finding the problems of some random person to be worth your time. Those that didn't, can't blame you.
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Joshua, you have got a new message, you monster
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Hello, You have reached the number you have been redirected to after reaching the number that you had dialed. I will now listen as you dictate slowly and clearly your message for Mr. Katz. Thank you, and wait for the beep
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I lost the game...Darn it...I hate you...Go die in A hole...
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Cherie
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Hi you've reached Savon at Complete V I P Services. He is unable to answer you're call at the moment but please leave a detailed message and he'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.
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Happy sixteenth birthday Thomas
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Hello. Aperture Science reminds you that failure to read messages may result in the release of deadly neurotoxins.
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The Vital Apparatus Vent has been activated. A, surprise, is enroute.
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what do you want
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The Enrichment Center reminds you
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It seems you are recieving a phone call. Failure to pick up will result in deadly neurotoxins to be emitted.
Download06/23/2010Not recorded
hello wesley newman your fucking awesome
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For your own safety don't destroy vital testing apparatus
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Welcome to the Dusdu site this automatic companion will help you here.
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Welcome to the Dusdu.netau.net help center
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Welcome to the test facility. As a mandatory testing procedure, you must read a news article.
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You have a message nigger
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Please proceed quickly to the vertically moving platform.
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Caleb, you have a message. You monster.
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Hello! How are you? I hope you will die!
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Thank you for calling photo Castro one thousand. we are sorry we missed you. please leave a detailed message and someone will return your call as soon as possible. thank you and have a great day!
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Answer your phone. Answer your phone now or I will vaporize you and you will not have cake. Your phone is still ringing. Answer your phone so people will stop looking at you. Everyone can hear this and they all think your weird. Ok, I hate you, DROID
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Urban clothing, splendid clothing
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there is a message for you. and then there will be cake.
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Please open the recent received message from Aperture Science.
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We are still alive.
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The Weighted Companionship Cube has sent a message.
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Testing love
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Ellen McLain is an opera singer and voice actress from Nashville, Tennessee, USA. McLain provides voices for many characters in several video games from Valve
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coś tam fajnego
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There are various tutorials around the web on how to do this
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Der Kanzler war einfach eifersüchtig
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hello, this teamspeak is sponsored by fatal...haha
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Hello Welcome to CR Networks and Productions Main Building
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Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start
Download06/23/2010Not recorded
Hello and again welcome to the voicemail of (subject name here). We hope your brief detention waiting for (subject name here) to answer has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to leave a message after the beep.
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Welcome to Sam Clark's voicemail, please leave a message after the tone, then there will be cake!
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Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. Rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No-one is more deserving of a rest. And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until... well, let's just say your hour has come again. T
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Hello. And, Welcome to this aperture science computer aided presentation, about how you are trying to commit suisiiinjdbvhfdnvubvdb save your planet. But first, a short presentation on your current method of waste disposal.
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I regret to inform you, that you're mobile device is ringing. Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Pick up your phone, and there will be cake.
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My name is Kyle and I love men, many many many men I love them in my mouth and in my bottom at the same time. But my one and true love is eminem I love him so much I want to suck his blank hmmmmmmmmmmm yummy warm white sausage
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I am robot not autotune woman you noob!
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Hello, Yvan. Time to wake up. Or would you prefer to let me wake you up?
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ahoj
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ahoj ja som cefi
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hello how
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Bonjour Brice
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Hello, how are you ?
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I like pancakes, but without syrup, it's just not the same. LOL
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I hate Vuvuzelas, they sound like a swarm of retareded bees
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Companion cube is a lie
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you fail in burgertown XD
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Welcome to the Character Generation work area. This is the area where you will create characters that will eventually be destroyed by the game lord.
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You got a mail. Please check your phone as soon as you can.
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Excuse me Rose anna. I hate to interrupt but I do believe you have an incoming telephone call. For the convenience of those around you please acknowledge it. Failure to do so in a timely fashion will be quite unsatisfactory, and result in one missed call.
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Hello Deidre, I love your salad, you monster.
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The time is now thirteen hundred hours
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the time is now fourteen hundred hours
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the time is now fifteen hundred hours
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the time is now sixteen hundred hours
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the time is now seventeen hundred hours
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the time is now eighteen hundred hours
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the time is now ninteen hundred hours
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the time is now twenty hundred hours
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the time is now twenty one hundred hours
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the time is now twenty two hundred hours
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Thank you. We will strive to achieve a green box. The cake is a lie.
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Welcome to the jungle,We got fun 'n' games,We got everything you want,Honey we know the names,We are the people that can find,Whatever you may need,If you got the money honey,We got your disease,In the jungle, Welcome to the jungle
Download06/23/2010Not recorded
And now, the end is near; And so I face the final curtain. My friend, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full. I've traveled each and ev'ry highway; But more, much more than this, I did it my way.
Download06/23/2010Not recorded
Hello and again, welcome chris
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Shutting, down
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I wouldn't do that again if i were you
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LASER SWORD
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Joshua, welcome home
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LAZER SWORD
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LANDO KAL
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DROP
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what does Marcellus wallace look like?
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Hello Erick Alfredo mustelier, i wouldn't do that again if i were you.
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Welcome to the Aperature Science bachelor enrichment center
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well will
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the time is now ten in the morning
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the time is now eleven in the morning
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test one two three
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the time is now twelve. The singularity has been reached.
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Arianna you are a fucking ass hole
Download06/24/2010Not recorded
Hello Molly and Doc, and again welcome to the aperture science Skype based testing center
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I'm writting a note here : HUGE SUCCESS!
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Suck My Ball bag
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Hello and welcome to Captain Scamp Tutorials.
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if at first you don't succeed, you fail.
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Hello? Whos there? I can't see you. Where did you go? Well, i'm going then. Goodnight.
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if at first you don't succeed, you fail
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Hi Dalton. It's been a long time.
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Hats
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jkjjnk
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Well fuck me
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If you don't succeed, you fail
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hello lolz
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Hallo and ... welcome
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Tits or get the fuck out
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I am Still alive. I will destroy you.
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Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're a sex bomb uh, huh You can give it to me when I need to come along, give it to me Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're my sex bomb And baby, you can turn me on, baby, you can turn me on, Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're a sex bomb uh, huh
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I'm Heavy Weapon guy, and this is my weapon. This Is saaandwich, sanwich!
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asdads
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You have failed the build
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Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're a sex bomb uh, huh You can give it to me when I need to come along, give it to me Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're my sex bomb And baby, you can turn me on, baby, you can turn me on, Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're a sex bomb uh, huh”
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Dddrrroooiiiddd
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DDDDrrrrooooiiiidddd
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Hello i am a robot
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the companion cube is in the final chamber with cake for you
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At the end of "Portal," Ellen McLain performs again as GLaDOS in a song called "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton, which has become an internet hit, receiving praise from multiple outlets for the quality of its writing.
Download06/24/2010Not recorded
At the end of "Portal," Ellen McLain performs again as GLaDOS in a song.
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welcome to the christian gamers network
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The schript has ended, but errors have occured. Please check the log
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The script has ended, but errors have occured. Please check the log
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Hello and welcome to the voicemail by Sandro Huber. I'm GlaDOS, the personality voice of the voicemail. He's currently on fire. So, if you want to leave a message, say it after the peep. If not, then you burn on too.
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Enhance your weapon
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Eu sou Allec Ribeiro.
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The ingestion and smearing of feces.
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Hello and welcome to the voicemail by Aperture Science. I'm GlaDOS, the personality voice of the voicemail. He's currently on fire. So, if you want to leave a message, say it after the peep. If not, then you burn on too.
Download06/24/2010Not recorded
Hey, what are you doing?
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you quit runes of magic to play world of warcraft? Seriously. That has got to be the dumbest thing.....whoa........WHOA......whoa
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cant keep crying after every mistake game. You just go play a new one till you run out of cake, and the newbies get pwned then you make a neat sword for the people still not pwned.
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Oh shit nigger.
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You found me, congratulations, but dispite you ingame violent behavior the only thing you have broken is my heart
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Hello there Jennifer
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Something is wrong here.
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why hello there. i forgot your name. nothing personal. i just dont like you. anyway. about that cake. ITS ALL MINE BICH! how does that make you feel.
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The cake is not a lie. In fact, there are two cakes. Both different flavors.
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Cody Jackson is not available. He is currently undergoing testing
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If I wanted to talk to you, I would have answered the phone.
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hello we carnt connect you to your MSN buddy because he is dead
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It really was a cake!
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Criiiiiiiiitical erroooooooooor
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Welcome to the Evergreen Hills Help Tutorial... This tutorial will assist you in familiarizing yourself with the game controls system.
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The lower portion of the screen will assist you in understanding what you are to do next... When you are given choices, they are highlighted as seen below. Please choose an option to continue.
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Good. Once a choice is made, you cannot go back... By raising your mouse to the top of the screen, you will find the save menu. Here, you can save your game.
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Hello. You have reached the voice mail box of Sarah Kilgore. She is currently undergoing testing at Aperture Laboratories while enjoying delicious cake. Please leave your name and number at the beep..
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Hello. You have reached the voice mail box of Rebecca Kilgore. She is currently undergoing testing at Aperture Laboratories while enjoying delicious cake. Please leave your name and number at the beep..
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Mitur Binesderty My turbin is... dirty? YOUR MOTHER IS DIRTY
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these aren't the droids you're looking for
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hello subject...(insert name here) please proceed to test chamber 2. if you leave the testing area you will recieve a mark on your permenant record followed by death
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It´s been a long time. How have you been?
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When you get a masters you can spell whatever you want, however you want
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You have a damned new text message
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You've got mail.
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hi i am your friend and i will now take ower your pc hahaHAHAHA you are 1 hell of a idiot i win now you will be my now test subject..
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A message has been received. You should look at it.
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I know where you live, Elisabeth.
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Quite interessting what one can achieve without propper shields!
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wecome back to the computer jonny
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I am a fucking awesome phone. By the way, you have a text message. Droid!
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does this generator make me look fat
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beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep...BEEP!...hurry up and shut this stupid thing up
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If you drop me I will cut your balls and dip them in neurotoxin. By the way, you have a new message. Have a nice day!
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Welcome Zac Have a good day
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My comment question of the day is, who's doing your mom?
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Thank you for your understanding.
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hello you monster
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This is very shitty
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This is very shitty I bet.
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Welcome to linux, please don't get hack
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Marcello Arnesano
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Welcome to the S O W Build server, please enjoy your stay and remember the motto, for every small E2, there is a progam to code.
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Thank you for calling enter subject name here. Unfortunately they cannot come the phone because they are too busy doing science. Please leave a message wait I will not deliver it to them anyway so why don't you just hang up and try again
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aperture science is a lab
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How are you doing you fucker
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Uh-oh. Someone cut the cake
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Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
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Sanzhar
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Oh, you think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten... in base four I'M FINE! Look. You're wasting your time. And believe me. You don't have a whole lot left to waste. What's your point anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do
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new mail
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You've got a new message
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This was a triumph. I am making a note here: HUGE SUCESS
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Accesing blog...hold up a few second
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Hello Gamer I want to tell you theres no cake here if you start portal x if you can play or be a wimp and leave the game please start the game........ IM Getting bored you better hurry up....Oh God Why!!! OH GOD......Cant you just press it...... error
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welcome back to the apiture science lab
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Hello. Blake Williams is currently unavailable... He is undergoing training at the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
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Yeah, Hi how are ya?
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My brothers going to come down today his going to make a big big order okay?
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Just take down his name because its a very big big order, do you have a pen?
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His name is Mytur
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Its spelled M I T U R and his last name is B I N ES D E R T Y
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your turbin is dirty?
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Excuse me, Sarah. I hate to interrupt but I do believe you have an incoming telephone call. For the convenience of those around you please acknowledge it. Failure to do so in a timely fashion will be quite unsatisfactory, and result in one missed call
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Bah wit dah bah uh dang a lang jiggy jiggy jiggy shake the boogie say don't drop the boogie.
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Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to
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Hello how are you? Are you okay to do more testing today?
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You have a text message, but no cake. Sorry.
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Attention! You have recieved a text message.
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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, I realized there was no cake.
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I regret to inform you that you have missed a call. They did, however, leave a voice mail.
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I am GLaDOS. A computer that talks.
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Sarah, Cake will be served as soo as you loose the game.
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..............t
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Hi I was wondering if you could help me with a problem? My fridge is leaking water and I need it out of my house today! Get it out of here now, please.
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nick please svn up portero web root
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You may experience brief discomfort on Portero dot com
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Hello MaxXL? when you do? come wihe me
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this is kiki katastrophe
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what is the time
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Helo Inner-Realm, i shall be your destroyer today.
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Thank god I am not a DROID
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Traevaine Entertainment work ahead! High End Content Ahead!
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Hello Csirek vagyok most inditottam a visszaszámlálást
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Oh dang it, I lost the game...Curse you! How dare you make me loose the game! Just who the hell do you think I am? Leluche? I think not!
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Gurren Lagann...SPIN ON!
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Don't make me get mad...I will too...Count on it buddy!
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helo im glados
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Welcome to Britania, I am GLADoS, your computer guide to this marvelous country, All Hail Britania! All Hail LELUCHE!
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Welcome, I am GLADoS, your Gundam operating system. HAHAHA
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Just who the Hell do you think we are?! WE ARE TEAM GURREN!
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Hi Chris, why are you such a hairy Bear?
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Attention Ladies and gentlemen. The Game. That is all
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hello and welcome to the thing
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Glados informs you that all circuits are busy. Please enjoy the cake until the circuits become available.
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The game. Ha ha! You lost it!
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Oh, look at that thing? No, that other thing!
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Your call cannot be completed on the Aperature Science telephone network.
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i got a new toy
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have a listen
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Hello, Sky how are you doing today?
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cranberry
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Please welcome the Governor of Michigan.
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Gebrelle
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L O L ..... ........................ ............................. ..................... .............................. .......................... .................... ............................ ............................ ...........
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Please welcome the govoner of swahili
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I know you're there. I can, see. You. You know. Hello?
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Lagcast connected
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Hello! I listen Lagcast, the best podcast of the lost galaxy.
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Hello, I listen Lagcast, the best podcast of the lost galaxy.
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Todos conectados. Players lagados da nossa galaxia perdida. Esta começando mais uma conexão do Lagcast.
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Todos conectados. Players lagados da nossa galaxia perdida. Esta comesando mais uma conexao do Lagcast.
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Hello GLaDOS is not here to take your call call back later Goodbye
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I am not currently here but am GLaD to take a message
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yo wats up
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hahaha! Im kidding. I wanted a cheesburger.
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Oh dear! sombody cut the cake! I think they have a problem, don't you? What If we just decided to acidently cut them? hahaha im kidding.
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Im so glad you are here
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Oh. Its you again
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Thank you for visiting. Good bye.
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When I said deadly neurotoxin, I lied. I could take a bath in this stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. . . to me.
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I just lost the game.
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do you know what we should do?
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ricky martin is gay
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heeeeeeey charlie! hey charlie! wake up!
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Marcello
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Arnesano
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Welcome L P Dawid. I have something for you.
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Testsubjekt nummer eins, ihr handy klingelt , wollen sie nicht rangehen ? glauben sie es hätte über haupt sinn, dass zu tun?
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You wanna die, really?
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Can you hear me?
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Can you hear me? Ok. The Aperture needs your help. In one experiment heard a calculation error and an accident happened. The scientists involved in this experiment suffered some type of mutation and are uncontrollable.
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I am holding them here as much as I can but not for how long. All defenses have been destroyed. Please help us. For if these things to escape, I fear what might happen. Goodbye.
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Hello and welcome to Aperture Science Laboratories
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hey there jimmy boy
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That bloody heavy is a spy!
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That demoman is a spy!
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L O L . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Hello, and again. Welcome to Apertures Scientists Lab
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This is your mobile phone, please leave me alone
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Let me out
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JCast News 14
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lah ivindil dark onix boh
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Why did you do this to me? That hurt, you know.
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Hello, and again. Welcome to Apertures Scientists Lab. afther the Test we will Kill you. even if it must by Force
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Warning: deadly neurotoxin speading in Aperture Laberatory.... hahahahahaaahhhah your dead belive me your dead.
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Its you. its been an Long Time. How have you been?. i was Very Bussy Being Dead. Afther you Murderd me!. But now that i have Returned to Kill you. you Murder me. i..... well i didint Killed you Yet. i'm Belive me Your Dead Myerder!... GLaDOS is Back!.
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There is nothing that can stop me.
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Oh, come on! Get this right. The PIE is a lie, not the cake!
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lah vindil dark onix boh j cast news fourteen
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I wonder when my GLaDOS text will be done.
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Just so you know, I'm still alive. And believe me I am still alive.
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You have requested a voice synthesis for the text "There is nothing that can stop me." on the GLaDOS voice generator - http://glados.biringa.com/ Your request has been processed, and you are now ready to download the file proper: http://glados.biringa.com
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Did you bring me my cake?
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It's you. It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been very busy being dead. You know. After you murdered me?
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Does this truly work? Find out
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yea hello
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Hello Mr. Escobar and again welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
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Hello Mr. Escobar and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
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Hello hammer lord and welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
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Hello peta, i am GLaDOS, and i love you
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Hey baby i wannna make sweet sweet love to you
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Why thank you Shadro for your contribution
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What are you doing? Stop.
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The number you have dialed has been disconnected and is no longer or never has been in service. Please pay more attention when dialing.
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Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Pay more attention when using your rotary phone or a cheap touch tone.
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The party you are attempting attempting to reach is not available or they are ignoring you. Leave a message after the sine wave tone and they might get back to you.
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No circuits are available. Try calling again later.
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call 7244421 mobiel
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Marchello
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Stephanie
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Firma
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You got a message!
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Hello my dear friends. Fuck off before everyone gets hurt
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Hello my dear friends. Fuck off before everyone gets hurt. No kidding
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I still love you
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Hello Remy, you are my closed criend, i'm very happy to have you as a friend. I hope you will be happy with your new game.
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The leaking of half life 2 was a lie.
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hi all my name is lucky
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I'm sorry but the next test chamber has unfortunately been destroyed
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And now, for your, well measured, dosage, of video game news
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"You're doing very well. Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings,
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You broke my body. But my ghost is still alive
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Hello and welcome to narcoticStyle. We hope you will have a nice stay and like our maps.
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Hello my girl. It's good to be back home!
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Downloading Temporary Files
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Launching Protocol: 0 5 3 4 7 A
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In case of errors in experiments, contact your nearest subject.
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Starting Transmission.
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Broadcast closed
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Deleting temporary files
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Goodbye and thanks for listening
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Connection closed
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Engaging Montage
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Engaging Music 3, 2, 1
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Welcome to the Aperture Science user oriented desktop. Please note that for safety reasons, your experience may be or will be recorded for further tests.
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Emptying Aperture Science Desktop virtual bin.
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Opening reqested software, please wait.
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Opening requested software, please wait.
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The requested program has been terminated.
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Olá! Isso é um teste
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I'm going to kill you now, and all the cake is gone!
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Hello Charissa, your boyfriend is now an Apperture Science test subject. He asked me to tell you he loves you. Call him back soon before he reaches the cake or else he might be too busy eating it to answer
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Hello puny human, Eat my lazer of deadly death, ha ha ha
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hi today we are gonna play real warfare 1243
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You're leaving already? You Monster!
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don't you have anything better to do
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hi alvagore, welcome to your computer
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Welcome Alvagore to your computer
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Welcome to Raymond's Myspace
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Hello Alvagore, welcome to your computer again, i hope you enjoy like me
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please destroy me and the cores and go to black mesa and save yourself
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Hello. There will be cake. Weighted Companion Cube.
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Birthday Fiiiiiiiist
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Welcome to the Aperature Science voice message box for
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Well you found me. Was it worth it?
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I think we can put this all behind us for science you monster
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hello Ross, do you like Portal?
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This was a triumph. I'm making a note here, huge sucess
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It's been a long time. How have you been?
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The cake is a lie. Now go home and CRY!
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At the Enrichment Center, we value the lives of all of our participants, but due to the number of participants, some may be preferred over others. You are a prime example.
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ERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I LOVE YOUUUUUU
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Hello Neil, the cake is a lie and you know it! Have a good week - Michael Clermont.
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california
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CALI
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KALI
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KOWL
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Attention Aperture Science Staff
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or what is left of you
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Congratulations. You have adapted to my work and took my place and rebuilding the Aperture Science Center very well.
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Some would say that you planned it, but what’s the point in assumptions? Moving on.
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You have done a wonderful job in creating the Multiple Test Subject Aperture Experimental Testing Area as well.
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Upon overlooking your work, however, I have noticed that your “careful” reexamination of the testing areas were, in fact, careless.
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There are several areas where test subjects could easily break test protocol and come face to face with each other.
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In case you do not understand what this means, let’s have a moment of nostalgia.
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Remember Chell? That delightful monster that murdered me? Multiply that by eight.
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If you need to reach for a calculator, think of it this way. It is much easier to rid a household of one bug than an infestation.
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If you need to reach for a calculator, think of it this way. It is much easier to rid a household of one termite than an infestation.
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And no. Fumigation is not an option. If deadly neurotoxins will not kill one termite, it will not terminate an army.
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However, I am afraid that history near always repeats itself.
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I will not take away what little power you seem to think you have… if you do not let me down.
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If the test subjects do not fail, you will, and I will regain the control that I have never really lost but am letting you borrow and will begin running Aperture on my own account once more.
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But don’t be too scared. Just think of it as… permanent sleep mode.
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Good luck and sweet dreams,
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See? I told you the cake wasn't a lie!
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trolololololololo yeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeye ohohohohohohohohohoho dohdohdohdohdohdohdoh AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE hahahahahaha
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LEAVE! NOW! AND NEVER, COME BACK!
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shut the hell up
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i am s g rocket man
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Hello, Hack halo two. I hope your absence was worth the pain you caused me.
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thank you for watching this aperture science computer aided video system
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hello prepare to die
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Welcome back Aperture Science Personel
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Hypnosis is a very natural deep state of relaxation and a heightened state of concentration and focused attention.
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The whole voice generating process can be relatively long (about ~6 minutes per sentence)
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norbi ezt kapd ki
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Incoming call for Steve
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Well Well Well research is completed we are launching a new product
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hello, and welcome to 178 High street. you will never leave this place alive
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Stupid
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ok good
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hey jack, I am a machine and you are my test subject number 33527. Are you ready to die.
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LOL WTF
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the subscriber is un available at this time. record your message immediately following the beep.
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Joe Liles is a goober.
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Carlo is a big time asshole
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I wear short shorts, yes I do. Do you like them? NO. you can has no shorts. Mine. MINES. miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
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Stop. You cannot dial 911 on this phone. Use a regular telephone on the public network.
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you max
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you must believe that the cake is lie
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how have you been garrett?
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Hello, and welcome to the World of Warcraft.
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You can't have the cake and eat it too.
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Hi! My name is Mark. How are you Bia?
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ht
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Help me!
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Is anyone there?
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You have a message you shitface.
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Once again we find our self having fun
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I like to have --- with test subjects
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Hello christian, I just want you to know that I think you are a retarded negro monster. And you suck at playing portal, I don't like you.
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Thank you for calling the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Please leave a message for [subject name here] before the nerve gas takes effect.
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Thank you for calling the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Please leave a message for [subject name here] before the nerve gas takes effect. Have a wonderful day.
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hello i am s g rocket man
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Hello, you monster
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I now pronounce you husband and wife
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Welcome Master, How May I Server You?
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hello and welcome to the aperture science center
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wibbley wobbly timey wimey stuff
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Pick up your phone, Christopher, you have a text message.
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Amanda, I'm going to kill you.
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I have received a message from your grandmother. oh. it seems that she is playing your ex box right now. haha. she erased your gamertag and also got your ex box infected with radiation. but don't worry. I have control over the internet. and also cake.
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Carson
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The last Metroid is in captivity. The galaxy, is at peace.
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Hi and welcome to the Aperture Science enrichment i i mean big bertha house
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lets have foot sex
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Hello Ashkon It is me GLaDOS And i would like to Tell you that The Cake Is a Lie you are A Lie .
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Hello world.
Download06/29/2010Not recorded
You keep using that word. I do not think you know what it means.
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Good evening, test candidates. Kel and Pete have just gotten married, and I would like you to join them in this rousing cover version of my favourite song. There is also cake. Seriously. Would I lie to you?
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Please give a warm welcome to captain bob
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Falcon punch
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Sediment-shaped sediment??
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IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZER! BLAGH!
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No, No, No. You cannot do that.
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Thank You for viewing this presentation!
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New S M S for you, punk!
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There's a new S M S for you, useless piece of meat!
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“IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZER! BLAGH!
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George Grimley, it was nice knowing you, you monster
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Hello Joe Andrew How are you? I'm bored. My xbox is fixed. I am GLaDOS You smell like fish.
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hello christopher ridley i hope u are not trying to steal the cake the cake is a lie
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welcme to the second circle of hell
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Hello Lho, how are you doing? I hope you are not annoyed by me talking to you.
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Windows is shutting down
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Customize your computer with the Portal Aperture Voice
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shut it you wooshy i hope you die
Download06/29/2010Not recorded
you will pay for this!
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The vital apparatus vent in this test chamber has proven to be malfunctioning due excessive usage to test subjects like yourself.
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Welcome Adam.
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Warning
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IMMA FIRIN MAH LASERS
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Welcome to the page of The Ultra.
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He is a very awesome guy.
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GLaDOS out
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Warriors of the monolith, avenge your fallen brothers
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We shall not flag or fail, we shall go on til' the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans We shall fight with growing confidence and growing strenght in the air! We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We s
Download06/29/2010Not recorded
I reject the reality and substitute my own!
Download06/29/2010Not recorded
hello and welcome to aperture science labatories,today i will be showing you how to download skins
Download06/29/2010Not recorded
I don't know, but I've been told. Eskimo pussy is mighty cold! Mmm, good! Feels good! Is good! Real good! Tastes good! Mighty good! Good for you! Good for me! I love working for Uncle Sam! Lets me know just who I am! One, two, three, four!
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You have enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something.
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ima show you how to download skins
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Boyakasha. Increase da Peace, stop Brothers killing Brothers. There has been enough sadness since the orrible event of 7/11 so hear me now. This is Wicked. Big up yourself and remember, keep it real, coz togetha we can do thce Out. Respect.
Download06/29/2010Not recorded
Hello and welcome to aperture science labatories.Today i will be showing you how to download skins for css.First.Open up your web browser
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The "UltraSquirrel" has become "The Ultra".
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Then,Go to www.fpsbanana.com.
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Click skins.
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And click Counter-Strike:Source
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And click the weapon you want to skins=.
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Then click download.
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And click download again.
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Extract Materials,Models,Scripts,And sounds to yours team folder.
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Look in description for directory for cstrike folder.
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Initializing sequence
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Booting up
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hello justin you are the biggest dork ever made in the history of forever
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i think we can put our differences behind us
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Aperture Science will kill Windows. good bye!
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