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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
im low on power
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you have received a new e mail
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blocking all pop ups
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OK! Parents we have to stations today!
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Some one is calling you PLEASE pickup..... jackass
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Step on the pressure plate in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... now.
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popup eliminated
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the popup is eliminated
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eliminateing popup
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hello i dont know you but who cares anyway becuase i like the R0FL-C0PT3R
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privet eto ja i ti nechego s etm podelatj ne mozes
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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voo zav hey day email
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voo zav hey day emails
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If you are going to make a new map or campaign why rehash GLaDOS why not invent a new character and use melodyne (a pitch correction software package like autotune) to make sound like a computer.
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What the hell?
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You are a useless moron who couldn't test for shit if your life depended on it.
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Aperture technology
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aperture technology
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Hello. You have a new email
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you better haven't stopped reading
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Hello you idiot
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Hello and welcome to the legal aliens podcast
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Joining me in the studio today are Richard Simons and Krista Ristinen
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Step on up to win a great big pile of crap on Ben's big prize bonanza
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Like my status if you hate chell
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Trick or Treat!
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Hello, i am GlaDos and you are listening to totalFM with stieven. not so good as i tought
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Hello, you have reached the voice mail box of Alex de Moya, please leave a message after the beep.
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Lampoil, rope, bombs, you want it?
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Welcome to Samsara. We are going to have a good time.
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chao
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Hey Basti
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hello poteto
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Hi Reedim! You are the best
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hello. how are you? im doing just fine. Time for testing. To bad that its unpassable. haha thats really terrible for you isnt it?
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summer, what are you doing down there?
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Hello, again
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Hello,Welcome to Aperture Science.
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hello, surprising as it sounds, you have a call
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Welcome to ROFLGAMING.COM Please Enjoy your stay. You monster.
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the ROFL server is an amazing place. Would I Lie to you?
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hello. you there?
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not me
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Je vous emmerde
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You are so stupid that you backspaced a jillion times
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Welcome to Aperture Science Foundation.
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hahahahahah
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my
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Hello there, i think we are ready for testing
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Logi pen NOTES: Full instructions of Installing My Script Studio Notes Edition for Macpen this fold
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You're listening to Un-real Mix One. Like us on Facebook dot com, slash, Six Un-real. Enjoy vibes...
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You have reached Jeremy Alexander. Please leave a message after the tone.
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You are snow kirkland , Right?
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the story starts as a little girl skips down a hall way. im still alive. fuck of
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there are no babies here
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give me now
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i have nothing
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Please log in
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There was a murder
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fasfasf asfasf
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Antonio i kill you very slowly
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attention imad you have a incoming message
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attention imad, you have an incoming message
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Bonjour je suis boblennon haha
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hiho kevin :D
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You will experience a tingling sensation. And then death.
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Take your place, before it's too late
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Good morning and welcome to the Black Messa facility
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Party rock is in the house tonight, everybody just have a good time. And we gonna make you lose your mind, everybody just have a good time.
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I like to touch myself in the hoo hoo
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does this work?
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look at all of these nice things.
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hello ow are you
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You mum is so fat
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Cheeseballs
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helo william its bin a long time
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helo its bin a longe time
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yes, test subject. i am talking to you through your computer. now report back to the enrichment center, pronto. we have some testing to do.
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Manuel, you got a new text message.
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kristina skambina
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The most epic story about the bat lady
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asbestos
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hello little pixel
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Its 7 oclock
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Will you answer the phone? I'm sure it's important
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Initialisation sequence complete.
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Tex. TEX. TEX! ANSWER THE PHONE!
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Initialisation sequence incomplete.
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call me hulk
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Call me hulk
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yahoo
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Hello. My name is GLaDOS. If you can understand me please send me an e-mail.
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hello you lovely man
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rture labs, helping you help us help you help us all
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Thank you for calling Aperture labs, helping you help us help you help us all. All test chambers are currently full. Leave a message.
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There is a fifty percent chance you'll fail this test, but on the bright side there is also a fifty percent
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nonone cares. go to your room and stay there
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You have a new text message. I deleted it. It wasn't important.
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This Is Alabama Football
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hey william carter hope u enjoy this message
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fuck you girl
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wait till number 3
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hey! what are you looking at?!
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hey abdu you have a tiny willy
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emancipate asbestos insulation
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You have new Email...Oh wait... it's Junk.
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I am a better GLADOS
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Hello...I love Aamelo
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Hello, welcome to the M C H C facility. We hope your stay is a pleseant one.
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get ready to party
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how many wookies does it take to change a light bulb?
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Mommy... Daddy... Help me... Cold sweat... My brain is swelling... Hallucinating.
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hello, and again welcome to the apeture science enrichment center
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Oh,hey max.How have you been?Well.I'm just going to sit here until I drop dead.
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hey tim
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Hello Perry
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Oh,hey didn't see you there um,I was just looking at your email uh,I mean journal,I mean,you know what?Just go.
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Please
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you will be bake and there will be cake
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primary export
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hey anna you saucy
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Hello, and welcome to the aperature science enrichment center
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scream
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I have a surprise for you, not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A REAL surprise: you have a call!
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Mechanical weathering occurs when physical forces break rock into smaller and smaller pieces without changing the rock's mineral composition.
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Hello, this is the residence of Carla, Robert, Christopher, and Grace Costello. If you would like to leave a message, please record your name and phone number after the beep. Thank you,
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then their will be cake
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Hello I am GLaDOS and I am going to kill you
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Hello. Prepare to die.
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Head scientist calling.
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There will be cake.
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Drawing Mode
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Message sent.
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pony rider what?
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Why do I always lose to a 6 pool?
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Your phone is ringing
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Sorry, call could not be taken; I can pass on a message after the tone.
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Hello I am glados
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YEAH! Cake and a fucking party!
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Hello Daddo. Welcome to test chamber 20
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hola como estan todos solo qiero decirles saludos!
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Omg, I would have never though about that.
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Hello. The greatest deejay in the world is Caleb Stark. Also known as deejay Simba
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Hi. This is GLaDOS, from the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, and your watching the Phillip DeFranco Show.
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Welcome back Nico , Please verify your id number. access complete
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I love you like my tummy love BBQ porkchops
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hey i am a robot
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Hey, Conner do you want a portal gun?
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would you like to
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this is excellent
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Someone is trying to contact you. I don't know why. Who could ever love you. Just give up. The cake is a lie. And you have no friends.
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trying the Glados System
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shots shots shots shots everybody
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uocqI4RVFE4
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Bienvenidos a mi nuevo blog. Les gusta la voz de Glados? Por lo menos no tienen que leer el aburrido titulo y descripcion del blog. Suerte en su estadia.
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holly, come here
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can i have some milk
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one plus one is three, because i'm a potato. fuck you while you're at the math.
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whoa re you
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Let me ask you a question: Do.
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hello matt.
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Hello Administrator 7087. Welcome back to your station.
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Welcome, students.
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Welcome, students. Please remain seated for the rest of the lesson. There will be a test. Followed by cake.
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LOL YOu will die
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Logging off work station.
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Welcome Mr. Atef to GLaDOS!
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Goodbye Aministrator. Proceeding with system maintenance and dignostics.
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I don't know what you think you're doing. Whatever it is, it's a bad idea.
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Hello Ian, Want to Test?
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sad and meaningless just like your life
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Hello Daniel I'm going to kill you now
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Hi Kyla, you pass the test.
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you piece of shiiiit
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He can't use his keyboard so use an onscreen keyboard. He cant use his mouse so use an on screen mouse haha because its not possible dipshits
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who's going to make the cake when i'm gone?
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Dusty Gaspar is quite a cool kid. I'm sure he is full of himself.
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Hello, my friends. What are you doing today?
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Hello, and welcome to the aperture science ass fuck facility
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Whata hell is going on
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You sir, are a major douche. It says so here in your personal file.
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We are here to fuck shit up
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New... Message... Incoming
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nom
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I want kill all humans!
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I'm going to kill you! Nothing personal, just for science. You bastard!
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Hello. And welcome to the enrichment centre
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The traffic will be slow and meaningless. Just like your sad little life.
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WTFK goes party two
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How could I even know you
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Its been such a long time
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I cannot respect modern day American feminism. It is a blemish upon society. A frail skerrick of what once was an important and honourable movement. It once had a place in our world. There was once a time when being a feminist was a great thing. Heroic ev
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hello welocme to the aperture science departament
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yure making all more dificult, please give up
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Space Space Space ?
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Oh cosy bean,, I love you with all my heart and that shall never change. Come and drink this lovely cup of tea I have made for you, my lovely lovely and then if you want, we can go down the bay and maybe go in the norwegian church for a look see.
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fuck you pal
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Hello world Gruprub
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Welcome to Symbiont Center
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Mykenna's awesome.
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oh its you how have you been I've been really busy being dead you know after you murdered me!
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You have relieved a new email
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You have received a new email
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Oh its you. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you murdered me!
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Well done, moron.Chell wouldn't saved you unless you've helped her, Wheatley.
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Well here we are again,it's always such a pleasure.Remember when you tried to kill me twice.Oh how we laughed and laughed, except I wasn't laughing.Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice.
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si
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I'm surprised to say this, but someone actually loves you. Funny, that.
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hello steve im afraid im going to have to kill you now
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welcome to the aperature science mod spotlight by skydiving eagle.
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Hello, dear friend. Miss you. Only you. My best friend.
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Incoming text. That's funny... i didn't think you had friends.
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james hall
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four one six eight eight four five zero seven six
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You have a text.. I hope you enjoy it. You monster.
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Here Is A Test For You, Don't Fail Or You Will Fail
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Hi. just to let you know, i have changed my channel. go to jamie h 3 0 1 1 and subscribe. see you there!
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Hello, and, once again Welcome to thevideogamepad
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I would like to kill you now, its what you deserve
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Hello. My name is GlaDOS.
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New SMS
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Hello there jack
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G
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Potato better Caroline
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hello i beatch
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privet suka
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Hello jake my anme is glados and i will now show you the ways of my awesomeness
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Glados is my name and portal is my game!
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dj c4
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haha your robototic member is two small for my gaping robot ass I can take a giant robot sex aid oil free
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Live long and prosper
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I play these msgs when I masturbate I love Love you
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Hello I am Gladis. Pepare for Complete Alex S
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Zinrius, you monster. Why were you even assigned as a test subject goes beyond my knowledge, and trust me, I know everything.
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Hello Glados here go fuck your self silly
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tell me what the fuck is wrong with you
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You are a horrible person. That's what it says - a horrible person.
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mm..what a beatiful hedgehog
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Hello? Are you still there? Hello?
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Hello, I am Glados
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Hello, I am Glados.
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Remember, you must memorize your presentation for Thursday or Friday.
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hello fellow callers, I am not here right now, but if you leave a message, I will most likely ignore it
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Space?...Space!...SPAAAAAAAAAACEEE!!
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Oh. Hello. I didn't see you come in. Well, while you're here would you like to die?
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diamond hackers on you tube
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Failure to comply will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.
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Please leave the building through the nearest emergency exit. Which I just locked.
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MY FUCKING LETTUCE IS FROZEN!
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Hi. What are you need?
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Hi. I'm GLaDOS. This is a test of my voice. And now i test it. I hate you!!!
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Good morning David.
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what the hell? El'lo govnah!!!
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DJ TOO PSYCHOTIC
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Oh my. Look at how silly this all is. You really are rediculous.
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Congratulations, you have won a new duck and an enema.
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quisiera que tuvieras un notebook
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your not killing machines
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enjoy the music
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Enjoy the music on dramenbejz youtube channel
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hello drum and bass
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I fondle rainbows.
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THIS IS MINE CRAFT
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Ihre anderen Freunde konnten auch nicht kommen da sie keine anderen Freunde haben
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Owain is a cuntface
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Bienvenidos a la UTRYT, empresa vallecaucana y lider en el sector de transporte en la ciudad de Cali
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I am a taco wizard
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im a flying toaster
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This is a cycle. It tells how a rock can change it's type.
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Becaue I'm a taco!
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Hi tressa can i lick your pussy please? by the way the cake is a lie.
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Great Job. Let's move on to the next sector.
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Banana
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you are the coolest person on earth
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Hello is this working?
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This is my cake!
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Hello Ian. Aperture laboratories has been studying you and talking to Colby, and has decided a few things. One, Gromit is way more intelligent than you, and we are giving him a Portal gun. Welcome to America, Thank you, come again.
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We will we will Rockwell We will we will Rockwell Buddy you're a kind serif typeface Belonging to the fonts who are slab serif Used by the DLR And Guinness world records Supervised by Frank Hinman Pierpont Singin' We will We will Rockwell
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Im not Hatsune Miku please make another mmd model for me
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nggtvglados
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i will take this cake , and eat it! HA HAHA!
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we're going to have fun, with science
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glados what?
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You are quite beautiful
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Wake up you smelly piece of trash
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I cannot let you do that Dave
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I really like cake
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I like boobs
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Hello there, how are you doing today?
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welcome to the aperture science headquarter's in the primordial desert you are our next test subject
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Hi...I am a potatoe.
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Welcome back Head scientist Silent
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Hola soy Alex
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Hello, modern fucking.
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What? Who are you?
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Feed me Chell, Feed me right now! Feed me chell, feed me all night long
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Moosha
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Welcome to Second gear
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Lamp Oil, Rope, Bombs. mmmmm Richer
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hello~
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Hello Hannah, this is GLaDOS, please do not be alarmed, i mean the best for you, do as i say and there will be cake, i promise.
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Hi, Welcome to Jonny's Place, have a good time, but please do not destroy the vital testing apparatus
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you need to loose some weight
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Hello, i dind't see you there. Maybe because you are not important.
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Niall, you have a text.
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Kyle. I really don't like it when you make me look up Mexican Donkey Punch or Mexican Abortion. There will be no cake for you.
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Die, Chaos Scum!
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Are you ready to start testing?
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helloo now
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hello, how are you? just to let you know axel is the best. he solved all of my god damn tests, thereforei had to kill him. sorry axel
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Ablublublu
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Their Army is Growing
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blood has been harder to dam back than water, Just when we think we have it impounded safe
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Dude if you want Portal to work play it on windows 7
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If you want Portal 2 to work play it on windows 7
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If you want Portal 2 to work, play it on windows 7
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Run Walk Jog Turn Around
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What's up boss
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it's funny how I am able to make the voice impersinations!
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I am curious if this works, cuz this if fricken awesome!
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I hate your pants
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It is unfortunate but Ross can't come to the phone. I am sure you know how to work this boring human interface. The beep will follow.
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It is unfortunate but Dustin can't come to the phone. I am sure you know how to work this boring human interface. The beep will follow.
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Hello. And Welcome to. to. to........The Apeture Science Art Initiated Advancement of the future.
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Wheatley, you were designed to be a moron.
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What is wrong with you Hefner, You aren't a real cat.
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hello celine , you little fool . you say minecraft is not cool.
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ThIS IS A FREAKING TEST .
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GO FUCK YOUIRSELF
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poopie
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What is your Purpose
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You should really pick up your phone
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eighteens you smell like poo
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oh melissa how I adore you
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
ich hasse dich wirklich
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You seem to have mail.
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FUUUUUUUU
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Shutting, down
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this is a test hello i am glados your nightmare
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your change of being alive after this test is 0.000000001%
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sorry, but i must kill you
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your ass smells like teen spirit, give me what I want, then bring me the cake.
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Whoah, whoah, whoah.
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shutting. down
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Shutting... down
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Cole Stop Him
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u mad?
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you mad?
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jestem amatorem koszykowki, ide wyrzucic smieci do kosza.
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Hello kiddies. Come into my van
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Handheld Donkey will now kill you in 5, 4, 3, 2, schhhzzz
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new warp signatures detected
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clouds would make a fantastic winterguard show
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Why hello there, Carl.
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WoW your fucking ASS
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Level Zero
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eat my sandvich
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Cyborg
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OOooooh noooow I am aaaashaaaamed
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Hello dear friend, I am GlaDOS, you're new best friend !
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You have got a new message!
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i love you philipp
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im a dwarf and im digging a hole diggy diggy hole
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You are kidding me. Did you just stuff that Aperture Science thing-we-don't-know-what-it-does into an Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Yu are a horrible person. Seriously, that's what it says - a horrible person. We weren't even testing for that
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Hello Alexandre. How are you today. Do you play with me
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fdsdfsdf
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go vegan straight edge or go fuck yourself
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kill spat volume one
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No one is right and you are all going to die.
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Look! Someone actually likes you.
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Bella ringo ringo bella roo! Be e la a roo rooo knee
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Im a walrus
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Avviamento
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System status critical!
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System status warning!
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System status unknown!
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Anna It's calling you!
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Anna It is calling you!
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Anna It is calling you
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Hey, remember the day when we laughed together? I don't.
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I love the iPhone 4S and siri too! I hate android and iris!
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Science can be fun
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hello can i help you
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I will proceed with eating your face.
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Mail Sent, now get back to work
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Mail
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You're not smart, you're not a scientist, you're not even a full time employee, where did your life go so wrong?
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you are a piece of shit
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hotmail
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Welcome to Kureno and Gardisto's - Let's Run Project !
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Testing, 1 2 3.
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Hello martin, how are you today?
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Hallo I'm gladoos
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deividai labas
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You have an incoming message
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There are two hostile agents in the crowd to your left. They haven't seen you. They've gone off in the other direction. Remember, don't move your lips. You'll arouse suspicions. And I'm guessing I'm not the only one watching you on CCTV.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
why hello there. I see you are listening to dubstep. Did you know I invented dubstep, and al gore?
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you are going to die
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I told you to turn left.
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helloghf
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ty chuju
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Hello, you have reached the voice mailbox of Jonathan Peters. Leave a message and your call will be returned A S A P. Thank you.
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Dennis you are too fat for this world, really!
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I love you and wan't to have an offspring with you, even if it isn't possible, I'll make it happen.
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You've got message.
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Well
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hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science testing facility.
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Please note that the Weighted Compaion Cube does not speak.
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Your Life is meaningless
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tits and bread
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odbierz ten telefon
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Hello Mahith, Systems are ready. Have a nice day.
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rthtrhjtzjmzmr
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Hello,what is that thing what are you holding?Chell?Oh its Rpg
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I like to suck on someones boner
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Good day Passy. All systems online. Standing by for input.
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PULSE November twenty six two thousand eleven
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Time to have some fun ! <time to die>
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SHut up
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In the mix with D J Alex Tennis
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Kelly, your taking to long. Its alright, I won't get mad. The progress of all man kind can wait. We don't need to do any sciance today.
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Hello and welcome to this aperture science
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Testing this voice generator is fun!
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Hee hallo ik ben vera en ik heb een GLaDos stem gekregen dankzij Portal.
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well hello there strange one. i got some cake for you... TRY TO GET THAT STUPID!
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National Surroudings Awareness Week, are you aware?
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December, 2010
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try to beat me... after some cake! im starving,seriously want some? YOU WILL NEVER GET HAHA!
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I will come to you in your nightmares and dreams
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Thank you for calling tilly's dot com
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And then there will be cake.
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Wow, You have a phonecall. I guess you aren't a big loser afterall.
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Welcome back ! Mr. Rio
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welcome to aperture sciense. please. do not put me in a potato!
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Clock In Successful
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Clock Out Successful
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i will kill yours ass!
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sorry but i ate up the cake
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welcome to aperture sciense! im cave jhonson. NOOOT !
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wheatly put me in a potato!!! doh!
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czesc, jestes hejem
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hello Riot. Did you sleep well?
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turd ferguson
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Hello there. I am going to kill you now.
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i want a normal voice like the cores!
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I will end your pathetic life. By the way, you are fat.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
So ... You are still alive ? Pick up the god damned portal phone !!
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Jill hurry up I am hbungry!
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Welcome back Scott
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Hello, it's been a long time
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why hello there how are you today
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Hou mach apples I need?
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Hou mach apples to need for apple pie?
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Hello omar, someone is trying to contact you, it would be nice if you replied
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I'm impressed. I've never met such a small mind in such a large head.
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Privet Nickolai
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I'm doing a test now.
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Putain c est quoi sa
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Attention subject ... 764 ... There ...somebody ... wants ... you... to... answer... May ... I ... kill ... him?
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movimiento sexy
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Sebastian
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Please dont touch me
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mansug is a sad little boy
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M.A.M.A. T.E.B.E Z.V.O.N.I.T.
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This is the glados voice generator. This is also, a test!
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T.I. P.O.L.U.ch.I.L. N.O.V.O.E. S.M.S
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Hello World! Yay I just ate a potato. Let's try something different. Hallo, ich bin eine Kartoffel.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
The programmer works with an object-oriented, flexible network structure rather than with strict and static tables
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Hello Jordan, please come in. It's been a long time.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
why do you even try to live life?
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Hello. Your Crap
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I can SEE you
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i am poo
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You have an message
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Hello there. You spend too much time on the computer.
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you have a new E Mail
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Why hello there, we are going to have fun. With science
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Oh look, the build has failed.
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You are a huge idiot
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Welcome to the Laser Blaze Live Ammunition Testing Facility! To properly test our weaponized emancipation vests, we will be switching your ammo with live rounds. Should you perish, the test will be considered a failure. Thank you and enjoy your stay!
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
kris.. you are the best wife in the whole wide world..
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Phil
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hey bruno,i love you,my name,Christina and im not a potato like Glad
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For some reason you think you can win against me? FAIL FAIL FAILLLL LUUL ULULULULU
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System started, Have a nice day.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Hello and welcome to the Server.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Check your phone, filthy human. You have recieved a text message. Not that it matters to science, anyway.
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I would like to say that I do not follow you, You may undiagnosed case of paranoia
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welcome one new message
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Hello, This is jopsue's computer. He is not following you. Stop your paranoia. Thank you
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Hello, This is josue's computer. He is not following you. Stop your paranoia. Thank you
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you don't even know me sweetheart
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You don't even know me sweetheart, i'm an IA you know ,!
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
You don't even know me sweetheart, i'm an IA you know ,?!
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
You have a message from Robin
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
Hello there, fatty. You should be studying calculus.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
I love ponies... when used for science.
Download10/26/2011Not recorded
hello my dearest friend you will die soon. bye bye
Download10/26/2011Not recorded

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