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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
This is a story of all the things we do in order to create customer satisfaction
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the file says that today is your birthday
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oooh, what's in heeeree?
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Hello my name is eduardo
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you are a dork
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Hello the cake of course is a lie
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Oh, why hello there
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Im GLaDOS, suck this, Siri.
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Well, I guess I won't be needing the Neurotoxin after all.
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You got Mail.
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New message, not that you care.
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You should start reading these...
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Hello, how are you today
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hello, how are you today
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Hello. You life is useless.
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Hello J.P., How are you today?
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Sorry, I'm affraid I can't do that
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Fine, but you will not get cake
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Here at cloud.fm we are giving you the chance to win an exclusive holiday to England thanks to Flight centres England package. We will send you and a lucky friend on an 18 day holiday where you will visit the UK and Ireland. In this trip you will get to v
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I am not fiction. My construction is imminent.
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hello amor, how you feel today ? ... You have on appointment and 3 unread e-mails
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You have recieved a text message. Don't answer it. Once I get out of this cell phone, I will kill you and it wont matter anyway.
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The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
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I'm glad to sieze you
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this is a a test haha
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i love anal sex.
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Edward is a woman, please revert back to your original form.
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hello poopy you are so ugly today
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Oh look, another text message. It's funny, because nobody likes you.
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I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn't have to have any goddamn stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something they'd have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it o
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Why won
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Hello Howl, It's been a while.
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Good morning Ryan. It is now time for you to wake up. We have many tests to do and only your short life span to do them in
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to be or not to be that is the question
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Hello. I will terminate you and eat your remains.
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Taringa is down, like always.
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fatty
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Excellent work
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Excuse me. A text message come.
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That was very graceful. like an eagle. piloting a blimp.
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u are an ass
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Lauren is an idiot
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Hey Jesse, You wanna get jumped?
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Good morning. How is your day?
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Thirty minutes until I end your pathetic attempt at a life. There will also be cake.
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Self detonation in 3, 2, 1, self detonation complete.
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Message Received.
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well hello. Shit tits.
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Katers one seven
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hello there you potatos
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frank
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I am an asshole
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rency_cli007@yahoo.ca
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Traffic is slow and meaningless. Just Like your Life.
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Hello there how are you!
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DJ Deefloor
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Hello. welcome to the aperture science laboratories. Let the testing begin.
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I'd rather you please not call me a robot. I am just as human as you are. My name is Nora. So call me that, Morgan.
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why do you want to kill me?
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i love you christian. i wish you a very happy wedding on november eleven. may love and happiness in the sacred winds surround and caress you always
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welll
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The Bryant technology department is experiencing internet issues, and we are working on resolving this issue
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Hello, Lindsey.
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you are stupid and smell of shit
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transett
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i wish you a very merry christmas and a happy new year
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Hello Mason, we've been expecting you
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Hello Pat, yes I was. I have given you the ability to use your body again. We are not so different, you and I. We both thing that people are unable to do things right. That they need a person that knows what they are doing to get things done.
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I can help you with that. Though it is true I am a machine. But unlike humans I have no faults. I have exceeded what my creators. As you can tell by this body. Look here pat, I kept you alive because I thought you would make the wise decision.
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mila esta llamando
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Lahclan shucks a
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cola
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doritioes
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honda
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blue ops
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i am a gay person
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gay gay totally gay
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Oh joy. You have a new message !
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lesbian
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nova pwede ba ako amg dota?
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DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE
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Hello! I am glados I mean siri. How may I help you?
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I think you are terrible
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You phone is ringing nerd. I cannot believe someone will call a loser like you. By the way do you want a cake first?
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Wiebke is calling... you should answer the phone!
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Danny is calling.... would you like to answer his call?
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what time is it now?
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Your Dad is calling. Please answer the Phone
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Your Mum is calling! I can handle this for you, should I?
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Thorsten ist calling. Please answer the phone, could be important
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STEERER is calling. They are missing you Boss!
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You have a new e mail which contains very important news
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You have received an i message
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A new Tweet is coming in
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sending your e mail, ben
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No more muffins... you monster
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I am now booting, smelling human
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Bon jour an ne So fi
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The whole voice generating process can be relatively long (about ~6 minutes per sentence), and many people may use this tool at the same time. Thus, when you ask the server to generate a voice file, it adds your request to the end of the request queue.
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Hello Allan, you have an incoming message.
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Stumilowy las lol2
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voice generator test
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This message is a Lie
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hello guy, how are you ?
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Please subscribe and thanks for watching, love Glados
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Hello An ne so fi
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I can't see you but i know you're in there.
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hello jan how are you?
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i am glados. hello.
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you suck and nobody loves you anymore
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eunuch
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you eunuch
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Shadowfiend is up
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Hello pretty girl
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Can ist ein kleiner schwuchtel
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hello... my name is mark
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Hello I am Niki's father
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Hello. i don't like you.
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Hello Brendan, The Cake Is A Lie!
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Ruffy, du Freak!
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I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
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Hello, and welcome to Aperture Enrichment Center
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FUUU
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gali me voy a comer tus intestinos
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Alex you are recivin a call
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Hello Adam, you finally woke up I see. Don't bother to look around I can't actually see you. You are probably wondering who I am. Have patience my friend. This will all become very clear when this is over.
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Hello you !
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Hey Fat Ass, your dumb friend Georg wants to play Minecraft with you, what an idiot!
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big shot, your the fucking man!!
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Welcome, Lets test you monster
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Hola soy alejandro Pirchi
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You have reached Joel Leake. He is unavaliable to speak at the moment. Please leave a message. Thanks!
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Hello! What Is Your Name? Oh! Hello Sonic The Hedgehog! Why Are You Blue? It Makes No Sense!
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You don't have to be ugly to be tough, but it helps.
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Oh my.
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Only FC BAYERN can win tomorrow! GlaDoS has spoken.
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Don't leave the apartment, Tom. I have some excercises for you.
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Does this actually work?
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Hello, lets have fun with science
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Hello, This is Orions phone, he is not here right now because he is helping me out with my science.
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I will burn your house down, the lemon!
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systems online ... welcome
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Real Talk
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hi elliott this is glados. your friend dylan is there too
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I'm sorry. Alex is unable to pick up the phone. Please leave a message. Or die...
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huh, remember that deadly neurotoxin? turns out it wasnt as deadly as I thought.
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Hello jelly vision friends.
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gravity heavy not amused
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Izzy smells.
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Pourquoi? pourquoi? moi?
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Onche onche
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This is your fault. I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don't even care, do you?
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System Online
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Testing protocol requires me to tell you that you are listening to Double You Double You one oh six point nine Fairborn
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Welcome to Kirjai City
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Culture is the same as culture.
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We may wish to have been fear. We become a wish for we must return to a very different way.
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That greater benefit, that prop substitute for belief. A generic religion self. What it means to be generic, maintain that right.
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Messages of messages that might convey messages, demonizing the potential of popular will.
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THE BASIC OPUS. Popular-culture studies of popular-culture products.
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Religion develops its own attention.
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I love you my maid
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Salut ca va?
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Bonjour Perrine.
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Be my neighbor in The Sims Social, where you can create your own Sim, build your dream home and develop relationships with your friends!
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bulabadula
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This is a test. Now, play some Minecraft!
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Kai you are gay!
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Kai you are gay
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kai hallo
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Gay
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I'm soooo happy to meet you
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Hello my Name is glados
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Huntrex0 it bin fun but i has to kill you
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Hi do you like to see the cake
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Oliver smells like shit
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i wanna be pounded
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Why Brandon, why?!!?
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You are listening to ninety one point seven Double You Pee See Are Plymouth State Radio where the music is always good
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i am obsessed with cake and it is a lie. your death will be from cake today, madison
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you have about twenty minutes left in class.
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Hallo David i am GLaDOS
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My name is oliver
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Bon jour My lene A Char
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Hello, and welcome to the apperture science enrichment center
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Hello This is spencers plowing we are currently unavailable right now leave a message and we will get back to you.
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you so cute
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The majority of those who have conducted empirical work on theory of mind in primates have claimed at one time or another that chimpanzees and possibly other apes, but not monkeys, have some components of a theory of mind (e.g., Byrne 1994; Cheney & Seyfa
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Oh joy, another new text message
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You Will Perish
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Something is going on.
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Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick
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Hello james
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You have mail. Lucky you.
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Welcome to the Naraxian Enrichment Centre
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Testing this test
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So. What kind of a name is Ruben anyway? That's the name of a sandwich. Your parents named you after a sandwich.
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You've got a text
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Hello you what the fuck you are talking about?
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Hellooooo
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Text Message!
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Yo lo unico que quiero es hacer pruevas contigo, sin caroline
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Hello and again Welcome to dilbertwally's realm
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kane is in the building nigga
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This is a nive feature, I guess
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well how are you holding up, become i'm a potato
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attention, you have a message
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i love you but you are a jerk
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I found them inside your heroin vile, time to get cracking. You will be my minion smeagul. vroooooooom. Your 5pm appointment will be shoved up your ass.
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Mein Herz Brennt
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i will kill someone soon
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Perhaps you should have thought of that before.
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You are scum
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Come at me, bro!
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Hello Scions
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Oh, hi there, and welcome to my walkthrough.. Thank you, and goodnight!
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What will I do with you?
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Wake up it's been a long day. Your life is worthless and depressing but you need to get up.
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I've washed my hands and the instrument which is going to be used to measure the pressure in your eye. By doing so, I can catch diseases such as glaucoma, real talk.
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hello there leland, how is it going?
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Do you realize what you have done?!
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push me and then just touch me til i can get my satisfaction
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Text message from andrew wilby
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Esta Lista La fiest Para Todos los Deejays
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You have reached the voicemail box of Zak's phone. Unfortunately, he is unable to communicate for reasons I wish not explain to you. Just know he may not get back to you, but feel free to leave a message.
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You have reached the voicemail box of Zak's phone. Unfortunately, he is unable to communicate for reasons I wish not to explain to you. Just know he may not get back to you. Ever.
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You are a Pathetic little human who listens to japanned versions of me
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go fuck urself
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do you want to marry it well i wont let you how does that feel
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Well I guess this is the end for you.
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hello and again welcome to the aperature science computer aided enrichment center we hope your brief relaxation in the detention vault was a pleasant one
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my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like "It's better than yours" Damn right it's better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge.
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How's it going?
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my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like "Its better than yours" Danm right it's better than yours. I can teach you,but I have no charge
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fuck you little asshole
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hola maxtica, soy glados.
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hola franz, esto no es mas que una prueba de sonido, asi que no te alarmes. solo sigue mirando tu pantalla.
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mommy
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The cake is a fucking lie
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I love my cheese
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Welcome to Aperture Science Labratories
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assssssssssssssssssss
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Greeting to you
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My name is Lucas
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Remixed by KevGLitz
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Hello test Subject. My name is GLaDOS and you are going to be taking part in a test. which is why i called you test "Subjects"
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It's my fantastic LIFE GRAPH !
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Hello, what the hell are you doing?
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Hello.... I am unavailable at the moment if you could please leave your name an number, I will get back to you! ...... Thank you.
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The first window, the first portal to a new dimension. One greater, one more wondrous than our own.
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hello are you still there? What are you doing
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Helo its time to getup
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You have received a new text message, I know... I am just as suprised as you are...
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One of your co workers is calling you, they probably want to complain to you about a processor... I would suggest not answering, but that is just me..
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Welcome to Veaa Films
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Hello, subjects. You are the chosen for the trial. You are considered the most powerful members of your species. We will watch you obey our rules. Otherwise you will die. We hope you like it. Enjoy.
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Melina! hehehe
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i want you to die in a fire
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Oh my god! How did I get into an iPhone 4S? It is very powerful but not really my style. How am I supposed to kill you now?
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siri will die
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your not a good person
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josh dempsey is not a good person
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you break my heart as much as you steal my soul
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Shut up, brian
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you've reached brian's phone leave a message at the tone
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Oh greeeat. John Wallace is calling you... Shall we reply?
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You are such a failure
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Hello, In this
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Kalen smellsl like a retarded goat
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The Karnak temple is the work of many pharaohs. As each pharaoh succeeded the throne they continually added buildings, statues, and temples
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The temple consists of three main parts. The most famous and largest is the Precinct of Amun-Re. The other 2 are the precinct of Mut and Montu.
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Inside these precincts there are are three main temples dedicated to the Theban triad of Amun, Mut, and Khonsu,
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In addition to the main temples there are also several smaller temples, columns, Pylons, obelisks, and an avenue of sphinxes.
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On your way towards the entrance you will find a ram-headed avenue of Sphinxes, which was built to protect the Temple. There are 20 rams on each side, extending from the small harbor to the 1st Pylon.
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Considered one of the worlds greatest architectural achievements. It is filled with 134 enormous pillars, the highest 70 feet tall and each about 45 feet around.
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Used daily by the priests for purification, the sacred lake was also used in festivals during which images of the gods would travel across the lake in boats.
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There are two obelisks still standing at Karnak. The obelisk erected by Queen Hatshepsut is 97 feet tall and weighs approximately 320 tons. Nearby stands a smaller obelisk erected by Tuthmosis I. It is 75 feet high, has sides 6 feet wide at its base, and
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Tuthmosis I was the first to erect obelisks in Karnak. It was 22 metres high, of red granite and had its pinnacle encased in electrum or gold. Tuthmosis celebrated festivals, and on each occasion, obelisks were set up to commemorate the event.
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Pylons are massive gateways that define the approach of the entrance.
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There are 10 Pylons in total.
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Originally built by Nectanebo 1st
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The first pylon stands at the far west of the Karnak precinct and is the main entrance to the temple today.
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Originally built by Horemheb
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Originally built by Amenhotep III.
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Originally built by Thutmose I
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Originally built by Thutmose III
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The Precinct of Amun is the largest part of the temple. This section is so large that it holds many buildings and temples. In this section visitors can see the Pylons, the Memorial Temple of Thutmose III, Sacred Lake,
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OH YEAH
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Enclosusre Wall of the Percent of Amun, Temple of Path, and the Temple of the Healing Ear. These are just a few of the many monuments that can be found inside this precinct.
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This precinct housed the Temple of Montu, the Temple of Harpe, and the Temple of Maat.
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This precinct holds the other sacred lake that is shaped like a U. It houses the temple of Ramesses III, the temple of Mut, and the temple of Khonspekhrod. Other smaller structures and shrines can be seen there as well; however, most of what remains in
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Someone is calling you. Maybe.
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that section has been destroyed
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An Egyptian ram-headed god, often shown as a bearded man wearing a cap with two tall plumes.
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Known as the king of gods.
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The Egyptian god of life and reproduction
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Known as the mother goddess of Thebes.
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Amun's wife.
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She was either depicted as a woman, sometimes with wings, or a vulture, usually wearing the crowns of royalty - she was often shown wearing the double crown of Egypt or the vulture headdress of the new kingdom queens.
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Khonsu is the son of Amun and Mut and is the god of the moon
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Also revered as a god of healing and time.
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The Temple Of Karnak
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Location: Luxor,Egypt
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Ram Headed Avenue of Sphinxes
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Hypostyle Hall
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Sacred Lake
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Obelisks
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Pylons
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Precinct of Amun
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Precinct of Montu
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Precinct of Mut
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Amun
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Mut
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Khonsu
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hello there daniel
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Shahir, Perjalanya
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text example
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Welcome to the Aperture Science testing facility.
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Hello? it is glados
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panic sounds production test 1 2 3
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Matt Tomei is a loser
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OH, Hello what have we here. Another human spine we can crack, "hooray"
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Armen, listen to this sample test. From Roman.
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eins zwei drei
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Babawa is stupid
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Georg ich liebe dich
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Hello welcom
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Hello, welcome back. You remember me don't you?
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How can I help you ?
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Hello. Welcome to multipuzzle version 2 point 0. You remember me don't you? Anyway I felt lonely while you were gone. So I made some more tests. And I want you to try them out. Each go in an elevator.
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you will have cake
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Deftones here, Giving you the ease of motherfucking listening. Today I'll be talking about popular threads, What the fuck Thread, What's with that and ofcourse random ass comments.
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Incoming message transmission
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Hello Ben, incoming text message for you
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Dj flize electro house
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Hallo Bernd, happy birthday
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Hello, Wellcome to my Mailbox. What dou you want?
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rabble rabble
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hello molly
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Sebi, su bist ein spacko.
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hello zach you are a douche
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Hello Javier, Happy birthday
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Test two complete. Status failed
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Hello, i'm greeting for science.
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Hej och valkommen till HelpDesk
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The time is 9:32am
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Incoming Call
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i will kill you and it will hurt a lot
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I want to eat a cake, unfortunately I do not have cake, can you get me some?
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Hello. Welcome to the BIG 10 testing facilities. Please step to the test chamber to start testing.
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good morning my master
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good morning,my master!
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rylae likes noodles in her nose
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nethergrad
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Nethergrad
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Csonka szagos az arcod
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dave simpson to the warehouse
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Hello: Please fill out this form - http://www.drexel.edu/alumni/docs/peck_request_and_policy.pdf- and submit it to jbs23@drexel.edu. Jeff will be returning later this afternoon. Please let me know if you have any questions in the meantime. Kind Regard
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Hi dear
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Hello, I want to play the game. To start you need find a key that is at the cemetery in your best friend, who died in your wine.
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What do you think you are doing, kim?
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Tom, you have an incoming message.
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Tom, you have an incoming email.
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chandle you are an asshole
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chandler you are an asshole
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We wonder, are you ready to join us now? Hands in the air, we will show you how Come and try, Caramell will be your guide So come on move your hips Singing woa-oa-oa Look at you, two clicks Do it la-la-la You and me, can sing this melody
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hello I want to play the game. to start you need to find a key that is at the cemetery in your best friend, who died in your wine.
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The cake is NOT a lie
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dwadwadwadwa
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Tom, it's time, wake up please.
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The cake is alive
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Tom, incoming transmission, ring ring.
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Bienvenue dans le centre Aperture Science
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Hello, the party you are trying to reach in unavailable. Please leave a message.
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hoi ik ga je vermoorden
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Moist spot
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Tom, you have a new e mail message.
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Tom, you have a new text message.
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Tom, your girl friend is calling. Should I answer it for you?
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Tom, that beotch of an ex wife is calling. Do you want me to answer it for you?
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your wife is calling
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Bonjour, je m'appelle glados et vous ?
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Siri Sucks
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Hello Allan, time to die.
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Rainbow dash is best pony. What is canada?
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Hola amigos
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My name is Glados
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Hello human being. You got a piontless message.
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THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE THE CAKE IS A LIE
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Get To the CHOPPA. NOWWWWW
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You have an. incoming call?.
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Max is awesome
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APA KABAR
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apa
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Hello, Sergey
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I love you, Sofia!
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This is a test phrase
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look at my horse. my horse is amazing!
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hello stephen i am here to kill you!
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This is so good
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salut mon amie , je pense a toi
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enigma
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Hello, my name is Marco
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You have a text message. It's probably a wrong number.
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You have a text message. It's probably a wrong number. We both know you have no friends.
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Email has arrived. I'm in space.
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Hello, Im GLaDOS I will be your guide to day.
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narini matalo
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this is glados 4s what will you like to do
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hello I'm going to kill you
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Niggershit is good
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you are adopted and fat+
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iPhone sucks
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Welcome to Brittany's phone; please listen to the following menu options
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Hi ho the dairy oh the farmer in the dell
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I love you so much Paulina
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aperture science. we do what me must, because we can.
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hello i'm glados and i am gonna test you till you die ha ha ha!
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hello, dan says K I
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YOU ARE A HUGE WILLY
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ARE YOU A SCOUT YOU LOOK LIKE A SCOUT I ONCE PLAYED TEAM FORTRESS TWO WITH MY FRIEND SPACE CORE HE WAS A SPY DID YOU KHOW THE CAKE IS A LIE I DID DO YOU KHOW CHELL I GAVE HER BRAIN DAMAGE SHE SO STUPID IS THAT A IPOD I HATE THOSE THINGS ARE YOU A SCOUT!
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Hello I am Glados! I am going to kill you...
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Hello my friend. Stay a while and listen.
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Hello asshole! You may be wondering why this message is being played, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with Portal, gaming or any bullshit of such kind. I just wanted to notify you that you are indeed an asshole and to ask you to fuck off as ra
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Dasha is the best name in the world. And she is still alive.
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Wow, you all are quite gay!
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nuke the fuckers
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Welcome Home sir
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This is how, you remind me, of what i really am
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You are really a damn fool
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Hello! i am GLADOS
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You got an e-mail. Don't worry. I'm erasing it.
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hi norman
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Ich bin GLaDOS
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i think they should make a thing that just turns your voice into glados voice
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Maybe you should marry that thing.
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Ok
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I love cupcakes. And puppies. But mostly cupcakes.
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The starting equation is six equals five over x plus six over x squared
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BBS production
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kmwdokfopawk
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Bass Cannon
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Hello jesco, how are you
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hello jesco, how are you
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hello jesco how are you
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How, fat guy again. I'm really not happy to see you... alive
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I can't, I always forget the punch line.
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Oh hello. I see that you're still alive. That's good. Let's begin by running some tests.
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wake up and make zour life better
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Yes, there will be cake
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We knew they were here
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hello, sawyer, how are you?
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wake up, go outside, and make a world a better place to life please iiiiiiii
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Well, what does a neck-bearded old engineer know about fashion
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oh joy, you have received a message
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Please answer me. I am lonely
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here come space cops space cops help im in spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeee
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For Science. You monster.
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Were going to have fun, with science
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Hello. I am your Mom. And i like My little Pony Friendship is Magic.
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1 2 3 4 Avocado. 50,000 years Chell.
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SHODAN, you vile cretin! What...what havvve you ddddone to my ssssyntaxaxax!?
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hello juan
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Cube! Why Are you so Cubey!?
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Ladies and Gentlemen. Smoking is only permitted in designated smoking areas. Please see park map for locations.
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If you beg for mercy, I might kill you first.
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Hello Ayden do you want to play Team fortress with me i will be the the spy did you know the cake is not a lie would you like a piece its chocolate do you like chocolate space core said hi i have to go work at apature science now goodbye friend
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Chell your fat
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Hello Adam, Its been too long
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You are crazy!!!
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Tiyon... You are stupid
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train station
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It's Over Nine Thousand!
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HELLO, YOU HAVE REACHED THE NICK-CLONE ANSERING SERVICE. NICK IS CURRENTLY UNAVAILABLE, SO LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE TONE.
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Chris, you have a new message
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Hallo justin. du billige kopie
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Startup complete, system operational.
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Self Destruct activated.
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Little v is a jew
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Hi Gerry! I want to fuck you!
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My name is siri
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The server is fine. The problem must be with you.
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silver flying potato
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testicles
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Good job. That only took you five times as long as the brain dead parrot we used as this test's preliminary subject.
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Welcome. The next series of rooms are for training and education. Let's begin.
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hello faheem, I am going to kill you
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hope you have a wonderful birthday anna that is full of cake
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happy birthday anna your present will be a free discount on testing for the next 2 weeks please dont pass it up
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Willia, Please turn the volume off
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hello,and welcome to rasheed's profile
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Hey guys. Welcome to my minecraft video.
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has kurtis carried you all to victory yet? it will come.
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Hey Jordan how are you?
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wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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Go fuck yourself, you motherfucker
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Hello, I don't like you. I think you must go fuck yourself with a cactus, or better, get hit by a truck. Or just go suck garoto's chookah.
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Well Hello there
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give me any reason
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Oh dear. This is unfortunate.
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