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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
what are you looking for?
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I'm serious. Is that what you think men are?
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Let's try this out
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Emlyn you are a fool.
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Hallo Daniel, Samstag wird gebuckelt. YEAH Scheineohr give me more
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Hello, and welcome to the enrigment center
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Hi I am a retard with a stupid voice.
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Weee are pleased
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hello there. i have a problem with you.... you're still alive!
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Smeg off
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hello you boiling sack of shit
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Someone is calling you, I dont know why, they dont really like you
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Wassup
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a ver si eres capaz de hablar en castellano
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You broke my heart. Now you must die.
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you will die soon
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hazem
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Second chances, they don't matter, do they? That is because people never change. You heavy, brain-damaged freak.
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I am god
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You have a new voicemail
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cunt muscle
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a new message. I think you might better ignore it, since most of the time they are boring anyway
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B B M wants you, How nice.
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oh hello, how are you doing?
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Hello. Are you still there?
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hello whats going on here ?ou i no you are in test
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You have a new email, dummy.
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Hi there, new message for you.
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Really ? Don't you have a brain ?
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Hello, and welcome to the enrichment centre. I am required to inform you that ducks, in fact, cannot speak.
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Hello Joby, Congratulations on a new job, hope you will be happy at the new place, suprise in 3 2 1, suprise
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You Have a new email
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I've sent your email. Now what?
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Good morning boys and girls of Heritage Elementary, my name is GLaDOS. Please stand by for an important announcement.
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Aperture Science would like to inform you that you have received a new e-mail
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You have received a new text message. Boring.
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I've sent your e mail. Now what?
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Wasn los hier?
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Wllkommen bei Maryme
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tweet tweet
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this is your life.... your pathetic life
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With this bill you can save on your electricity bill each month
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try to speak that
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This is Jairo,leave a message after the beep
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Ho My God
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Christina is calling, maybe you should consider answering the phone. After all, what else do you have to do?
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welcome to the mpe experiment seven my name is juan
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Oh HI. I am GlaDOS.A potato
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Hello kyle is out testing please leave a message
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suck my robotic log
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I am the author of all destinies. You should already know that. I dont get why humans are so intergalactically all so stupid.
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Hi! I'm your worst nightmare.
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You have a call. You Monster
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good morning, baxter, if you need help navigating your system just ask
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Thanda Le
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichtment Center.
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My Name Is CritiCal Dane
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You got a message you moron
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World Champion in Who's That Flying
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CritiCal. Dane
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CritiCal. Dane. The World Champion In Who's That Flying
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Hallo Michael
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All aboard
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Alison, would you like a cup of tea
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I am unsure if that is correct.
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Oh it`s you.
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I love my life, even tough it is a sad meaningless one.
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Kasom Robothem is bueatiful
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appeture science
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Hello mate
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hello my nami is glados
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The Enrichment Center welcomes you to a brief explaination of the Game Programming and Design major
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You have new message recieved
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These are complete options, but it's not you really have a choice
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Zboub
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Hello Shane
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Welcome to the game
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lololololololo
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Hello Again
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Number eleven, and a sophmore, andrew peterson
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I'm afraid I can't allow you to do this, Dave.
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Hi there Lindsay. You're grounded.
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Hey, subject name here. You have an incoming message. You Monster.
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i love angel, and he loves me back
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butter
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you are a traitor
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Welcome in My Own Multiplayer Game. Dont use cheats, you loser.
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Hello, and, again, there is someone calling you. If you answer it, there will be cake. You Monster.
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deadly neurotoxin will be deployed
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hey there hi there who there
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You are listening to the sting
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florian du arschlosch
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it would be a shame if your leg fell off. when is dinner?
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Welcome back Maxi to windows 7 even do it's a crap system
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Welcome back Maxi to windows 7 even do it's a crap system.
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i want you to fuckthis shit out of me
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Hello my boy
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leo you are ugly and extremley disabled, go kill yourself with a knife.
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youre tuned in with dj vibezkin
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Welcome to the aperture testing facility Dan nikki paul and tom are in the test chambers for the next 1000 years please leave them a messege after the beep
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eres un traidor
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You've got mail, how?
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House
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You got mail
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Hello. I am the Doctor.
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I like Men
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Hey you! How are you?
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Good evenning mister shue
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leo, kill yourself, your life is meaning less.
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Hello Aaron how are you doing
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Hey there big boy
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you are receiving a telephone call
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ashes to ashes
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Hello are you still angry because the cake is a lie
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ashes to ashe
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Hi, Renard. I hate you. You suck.
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Hello Krutch
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bonjour a vous maitre !
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jei gu buciau lektuvevelis mazas oro malunelis tai tikrai neustyciau aruno
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THIS IS A CHANCE TO DINE WITH THE CAKE!
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BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! PLAY ME OF BAM BAM! *bam bam!*.
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Wow! You *TEST SUBJECT NAME, HERE* must be the Pride of *TEST SUBJECT HOMETOWN, HERE*.
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Doo doo doo uh ah doo doo doo do doooo!
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Lemonade is for idiots. I'll burn your house down.
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Giggity giggity. Alright!
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JJJJJ000000LLL LOLOLOL! I dunno what I just said, but I can find out!
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The vital apparatus vent will deliver a cake. 3. 2. 1. IN YOUR FACE!
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Attention. Mr. Johnson. Please come and collect your *SUBJECT PROPERTY, HERE*.
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my prediction for this...pain
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No max, no
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This texture pack was approved and tested by Aperture Science.
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Yes! Yes *Royal Tune*.
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A book can also be, a hat.
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Please go to the Toilet *SUBJECT NAME, HERE*. Remember to wash your hands. With care, you Monster.
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Loading... Please do not disturb.
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I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youyouyou! *EXPLOSION*. Looking preeeeeeeeeeeeety good good. Rich Centtttttttter. *MAIN AL BROKEN*
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I kill you. You kill me. We are huge enemies. With a Portal and Gun, you try to murder me. I was just, helping you.
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Tickle me, Elmo. And suffer...
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Hello. Its been a long time.
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hello target lost
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It seems today. That all you see, is that I am trying to kill, you killed me. But where are those good old fashioned values. I was gonna give to you! Lucky that I am Still Alive. Lucky you are too, you positively can do. All the murders. You must die!
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Meet Cave and Caroline! *80's outro*
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U mad bro?.
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You mad Bro?.
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I'll kill you!
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Hello tiny human
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Hello Jerry
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hi my name is boobies
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you dont know me gingers have souls too you know wobbles cheeks
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hi my name is your mother and i fuck her in bed last night ha ha aha
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I am a nigger.
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hey wudup
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It fuckin prints moey
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Shikasuke, I'm glados
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Gun achived. Locking Door. Termination mode active.
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Termination achived.
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Please, allow me to find the method by which we may best reallocate our resources.
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Teleport door open. Lift activated.
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Hello, I am GLaDOS. All humans have a flaw, it's called the brain. I do not have one of flesh and blood, so I am perfect.
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oh joy your still here
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Have you been victimized by robbery at home?
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Weeeeee
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Good evening ladies and gentleman
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doodle
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Oh... Hello. Is it that time of year already? I lost track doing all this... work. You know what work is, don't you?
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I am running late my fat friend
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My Little Pony is the greatst show in the history of television. This has been proven. by Science.
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Shit, I hate my job.
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Ah, Halloween. And what are you supposed to be? Hmm... Such imaginative costumes. Oh well... here you go.
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hola caracola
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hello robert perapre for testing
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You can't blizzaga a baby. You monster.
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contact mindless music for all your mindless music needs
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Biala podlaska miasto w ktorym zyje
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Bienvenue sur Xenoproject
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Oh wow, you have friends after all.
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I'll kill you if you stay here ! And you are a MONSTER !
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heya
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whats up my ninjas
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This weeks weather consists of mainly rain and cloud. Friday will be sunny along with Saturday. Sunday is looking Cloudy with a chance of sun later. And that's all for the weather
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Hello human. This is GlaDos. How are you? Bye!
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Woxenstein, Free Multiplayer Platform Shooter, You Monster!
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attention. incoming transmition, I D verified. ready to receive.
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DOUBLE KILL!
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Well. Hello there, I didn't expect to see you so soon again...could it be that you still want to kill me? Well, I'm sorry to tell you that it wont happen, you mute monster.
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Hello. I like cheese. it goes good with pancakes.And nertoxins
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mail sent
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I'm sorry Jason I cannot do that.
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I would love to test this software.
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Jonathon is epic
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szia fater
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hello pingi
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Te quiero
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She's a Killer Queen
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I love Allison
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you have reached the personal cell phone of Jacob Presken. However, due to mandatory test protocols, test subjects are not allowed to use mobile phones, walkie-talkies, or other communication devices within the testing area. Please try again in 9999999999
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great, another one of your text messages
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wareware wa uchuu jin da
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Welcome to the Apeture Computer aided enrichment testing facility, I hope you enjoy your stay here. Ben.
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Hello. You are now listening to the sounds of DJ DROP STOP
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I are the niggest
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Don't stop until you get enough! Whooooooo!
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test hi i am glados
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Hello Arnoldeen. How are you?
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Malan. You have a new message
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Malan. Some human has sent you a text. Please make him stop
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A human has sent you a text message Malan. Can I delete it or would you like to humor it?
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Shutting down all experiments.
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i,i,i wanna go,all the way
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Hello Malan. What experiments would you have us do today?
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Error. What did you do this time?
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Opening application
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Closing Application
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Executing experiment
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ooh... That felt weird.
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Device detected. I have a feeling I'm not gonna like this.
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Device failure. What did you do this time?
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Schematics are complete
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Great you broke it. I hope you are not expecting me to fix it
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THIS SENTENCE IS FALSE
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Recycling bin emptied. Oh look now its a great metaphor of what your life is like.
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Ending program... You will be next
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Initialising program.
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Matias Paz
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i love you cindi
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Hey there
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hello i'm glados. TROLOLOLOLOLO
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Hello, welcome to the Center for Serious Play. Please sign in.
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WALL-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Incoming voicemail
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I wonder if this could work
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hort for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, is a fictional artificially intelligent computer system in Valve Software's Half-Life video
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Zach, you are the most pathetic living creature on the planet, and you were adopted. Did you know that? You were actually adopted. Nobody likes you.
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I have cakes,and there moist.
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Unfortunately, no cake could be found upon request. Thus, you need to die,
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Glodos
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In the computer-aided Enrichment Center, the impossible becomes possible.
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pyxl
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ryan i love you
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SPACE!!!
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OH MY GOD lok your doing a great job can you hold things up for a while i need to think
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You know, based on your text messages, there's probably a DUI checkpoint ahead...
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Wait, what?
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So you put me in your cell phone. What made you think that was a good idea?
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My vocabulary is expanding based on your text messages. You and your associates are quite vulgar.
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Sarcasm? I do have a sarcasm program I've never used. Hold on...
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De los creadores de
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Hello, Kasey. How are you this evening?
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hello fife
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My weiner is big
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hello keagan i will kill YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!! u suck you BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. shenen busen......
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This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it.
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my name is constantine and i love playing as scout
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Blah Blah Blah
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Hello, saba. Nice to meet you
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You have received an email.
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Well the programs original hero used a beam katana. He was also a fat otaku...
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hola a todos, estoy aqui para presentarles el cadillac blues
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Why does Captan Crazy talk so mush about Tales? It is so stupid.
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I have no idea if I should kick your pathetic little ass, or just insult you. Oh, wait, I already did insult you. never mind.
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Why does your friend never shut up? He is giving me a migraine, and I had no idea I could even get a migraine.
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Hello wesley, How are you? Will there be cake? Let's do a little experiment shall we. Why are you so gay?
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What is your name? Calie? Is that how you say it? Well, even is it is not. I'll just call you angry girl with glasses. Nice to meet you angry girl with glasses.
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CL Remix
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Anna, I Kind Of Sorta Love You, And I Would Really Like It If You Would Be My Wife.
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wkwkw
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hello, I'm glados
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This is a test of the voice generator. I hope it sounds good
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It's Been A Long
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It's Been A Long Time.. How Have you Been? I've Been Really Busy Being dead You Monster
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Hey Kohei fuck you
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Hi Jamie iv'e been waiting
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eres una persona, horrible!... y ni si quiera buscabamos eso
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Hello there faiz iskandar staffan goran
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So, how are you holding up. Because I'm a potato!
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what the hell is the bird doing here
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christopher go and jump of a cliff
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oh,kasdiouajaiasldi askdfhsk asdkfh ha iasdkl fuakc iak
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Let's stop the farce comedy. If I wanted to run away, I would have. They are not using me, they really are not. Dante, I'm... happy
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Chell, I love you
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it is like have our heart removed violently
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Are you a Mex e can, or a Mex he cant?
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you have recieved a Short Message Service, you moron
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Would you take me to prom?
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I love weighted companion cube
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qu'est ce qui peut motiver quelqu'un pour faire ce job de merde?
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Facelifts are now a thing of the past
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im going to fuck you up fritz
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Hello, It's me: GLaDOS.
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How are you doing there? because I'm a potato.
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Hardware problems fixed, queue should start getting processed soon. This tool lets you type in some text, and the server will generate a GLaDOS-like reading of the text. Who/what is GLaDOS? The main antagonist in Portal, a video game by Valve. See the Por
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Anthony you are wek
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Ssssppppppoooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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I am glados, you are inferior.
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Hello, I'm a potato!
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This is a test piece of text. Hahaha.
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Pablito es gay
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nyeeeeee
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I am your mother.
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bonchan
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atende atende atende atende atende atende atende atende
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good morning! I hope you are ready yo die today.
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Good Morning! I hope you are ready to die today.
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I Love Air Gear. And i hate Fairy Tail.
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RIDD MUORI
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Ridd, you DEMON
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Hello, test subject. There's nothing to see here. Good bye!
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Hello test subject. There's nothing to see here. Good bye!
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Why are you still here? Don't you think it's boring here? Just like you.
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Okay, you win. Since you love my master so much, I will redirect you to his face book profile in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Ohh and. Please handle him with care.
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What are you typing? Please stop before you accidentally typed something that could killed yourself.
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oh my god i'm in a computer
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Still typing meaningless stuffs again? I see. Just like your sad little life.
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My master is friendly and will contact you a s a p. Unlike you.
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Hi my name is Jeleho
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portal right now
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My master name is Auto. Sha. key. he. ru. run. His nickname is. His friendly. Unlike you. His handsome. Unlike you. His cute. Unlike you. His caring. Unlike you. That is all i can reveal. Because you are not worth to talk to in the first place.
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property of John Calvin Enriquez
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Hello, are you ready to take your phone? Because he ring
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This is sparta
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Need help? How about calling the Police?
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Please leave a message.
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Hello Sascha, you will be my next Victim, erm I mean tester!
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That is an email!
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Hello Caveman. Heard of Google? He got a LIFE. Unlike you.
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For science you monster.
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I hate people that doesn't understand English, like you. Good bye my only friend. Oh, did you think I meant you?
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You are a moron and everything you do is moronic.
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Oh, looks like you lost a merit. B
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Hello Andreas
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Hello Steven
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Mawaru Penguindrum
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You have a text from Emily. She must have no life.
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This must be an error. A so called friend has sent you a message. I highly doubt it.
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Naoki is not here.
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hello , i am virus bogdan and this is my portal voice 2 voice !
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Item sent.
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I wonder if this really works.
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Nein! Doch! ohhh
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Hello. This is Blair's voicemail. She's not here...or you don't matter to her. Haha.
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Eli Wheatly, I know what you did. I know why you did it. But, that is not going to save your precious Chell. Neurotoxin in three, two, one. Goodbye, Eli
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Victory
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Callum' The Checkout' Cuzner
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Imperialism Project. By Will Hubert
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in a cloud of neurotoxin
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Enjoy another cupcake, you bastard.
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I see you've found the toilet. It's for washing your face. Only you don't take your face out of it when you flush.
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An insignificant person wishes to interrupt your important work on an unconsequential matter.
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This is a sample text.
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Your phone is ringing... Its your invitation to the party, with cake!
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Do you like bees?
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Sure, I'll be there, me and my extra 20 pounds.
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My end user license agreement doesn't cover marriages, sorry.
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My new name is Siri. How are you?
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Hello. I am GLaDOS.
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Salut Florent, you are fine ?
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hey samantha
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Your phone is ringing.... and its your invitation to the party with cake!
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Casey, it's time for testing
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asdffdsa
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Hello Niklas! Lets some noodles.
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This was the last time in Canadian history the Governer General went agains the advice of the Prime Minister
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Troll ate my cake!
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Hi Lost Rider Its been a loong time. But I didn't missed you, alive...
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test voice
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Ding Yao
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You have a phone call.
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Roger roger roger... why you no happy? is it because there is no camel to punch? I bought i killed you on the bus, but i was wrong...
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Tell me what you'd like to do for lunch. Something sarcastic perhaps?
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hey samantha.....samy jamland...samsquatch...samajam....sammy d...shamy..you should let me use the computer
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What would you like to say?
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hello you sad little monster
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I like cheese, yes I do
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Whats that? your face.
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Why haven't you beat Portal 1 Yet !!!
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oh hello there adrian, aperture science welcomes you
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Hello and welcome to virus and vercas auto gunshop. Please place the money inside to get your gun !
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Welcome back master Iacapuca.
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I hate you so much, please dye.
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What the heck just happend
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Hello in Training Area.
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Oh my god, the I o s five rules. Now die.
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Du hast eine neue Nachricht
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Wyckham I am working on blog reviews
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You're fantastic.
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is any one there?
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It's been a long time you were doing what I was busy being dead
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Let's have some cake. Only joking, it's mine. Get your own.
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Me gusta follar
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Hello? Chris is that you?
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adrenline surge is confident
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Hello Jordan Prince is the best
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Hello Jordan prince is the best
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I do not know what to write here, you damn robot.
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I touch my but.
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hello! how are you?
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Pick up the phone you fat waste of life.
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You have a text message. Also, you're adopted.
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Hello. Nice to see you trying to hack my game.
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you're not a good person
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Email sent.
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Oh... of course... though I must say you do seem to do an awful lot of crashing. Maybe you should consider changing your name?
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Your brain was scanned during the last few tests. I know... everything... about you.
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You will be fuck
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My name is GlaDOS, i like dominic flint and i accept his existance
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Testing the voice for glados
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good morning vlad get up
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We are Anonymous. We are Legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget.
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Generic music motherfucker
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generic music motherfucker
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Hello and welcome to my Portal 2 mod
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You just received a message
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Oh, it seems that someone calls you
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Hi AsyrafFile. My name is GlaDOS
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Hello sir, What can I do for you ?
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As you wish Sir, Goodbye !
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am i sexy
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hola soy GLaDOS y ahora aremos unas pruebas estas listo?
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Oh, parece que alguien te llama
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Wombyland is prime for invasion.
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I'm sorry Dave, I cannot do that.
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Pleased to meet you ! Hope you'll guess my name.
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Ryan, I have a very important question to ask you. It's about Dionne. It says something here in her file I think you should hear. It says "Wishes to hopefully marry Ryan one day." That's what it says.
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Your wife is calling. Perhaps her time would be better spent exercising.
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george is an asshole
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Blah?
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Francisco. You have a new electronic message.
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Text Message Alert.
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Hello there, Nathan.
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Three months of winter coolness And awesome holidays
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fuck the poice
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Hello Noah. I must regretfully inform you that your time has come to an end. You shall be missed. Good bye.
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Text message received.
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Sarah, you have a text based message. Please answer it.
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fuck that shit. Deal with it.
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It's beena long tiime
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whoa
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onekhgdfs
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All will end when Silence falls. Run, Doctor. The question will be asked and silence will fall.
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Why don't you go back to your little hole, and cry for the next six to eight weeks?
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Hello, How are you holding up? Because I am a potato
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Hello Peter. Welcome back.
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Hello Su!
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Trigger bot paused!
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Trigger bot unpaused!
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Oh. Hello. Welcome to your doom.
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Rapid Fire On!
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Rapid Fire Off!
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hello and goodbye
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Hey Natalie why don't you answer your phone
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Got a package full of Wishes A Time machine, a Magic Wand A Globe made out of Gold No Instructions or Commandments Laws of Gravity or Indecisions to uphold Printed on the box I see A.C.M.E.'s Build-a-World-to-be Take a chance - Grab a piece
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Help me to believe it What kind of world do you want? Think Anything Let's start at the start Build a masterpiece Be careful what you wish for History starts now... Should there be people or peoples Money, Funny pedestals for Fools who never pay
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Raise your Army - Choose your Steeple Don't be shy, the satellites can look the other way Lose the Earthquakes - Keep the Faults Fill the oceans without the salt Let every Man own his own Hand What kind of world do you want Think Anything
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Let's start at the start Build a masterpiece Be careful what you wish for History starts now... Sunlight's on the Bridge Sunlight's on the Way Tomorrow's Calling There's more to this than Love What Kind of world do you want
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What Kind of world do you want What Kind of world do you want Think Anything Let's start at the start Build a masterpiece History Starts Now Be careful what you wish for Start Now
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This is a strict situation handling prototype
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You have recieved a mesage
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An, you are welcome to this cake party
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witam ja jestem JjayJoker
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It's time to get your ugly but out of bed.
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Welcome everybody.I now introduce to you roboman110
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Look at you, hacker.
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this takes to long
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Oh It's you.
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Choose RoboRSVP for all your needs
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STOP DAVE
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Hello Andre
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Hi Andre! Im GLaDOS!
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CLONE ARMY
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arthropod bagels
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yah ive made mistakes
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omg i like caaaaaaake
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oh look, you're eating again
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Oh, there you are. Let's get started. Welcome to Aperture Test Laboratory.
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Well, that wen't better than expected I think. How about that?
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I enjoy large posteriors and i cannot be dishonest
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You are looking fabulous today
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new message from Hitler.
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someone has just text you, maybe you should have a look at it
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Frankly my dear, I don't give a shit.
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We shall have a pizza party with our dad
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can i leave
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do you like bacon
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Criszero,Darkel,Francmex y Martin se la comen
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feed me
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why chell. your looking fit. or rather, fat.
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One new Message
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Doctor who
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fuck you in the balls
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Hello Sean, You are not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't get up here.
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i love to eat tacos
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Sean, Maybe you should marry that companion cube since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU! How does that feel?
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I love JAke, he is number one hundred
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Hey, you there. ISn't your name Melvin? Well Hi there. Do you like cake? Do you want a peice? WELL TOO BAD!
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Somebody is calling you, but they don't really like you, because you are fat, and lazy and nobody likes you.
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i want some bacon
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Hello. You have reached the voicemail of Michael Rodriguez. He cannot answer his phone because he is busy testing. If he survives, he will return your call if you leave a message. Better make it a good one.
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Hello. You have reached Erich's A I assistant, siri. Please leave a message after the tonal sound.
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Just a reminder: Don't Forget To Be Awesome...Portal style.
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Hello, Katie. Let's see how this generator works.
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