hello whiteshark, you are a failiure

Time tick ticks...away

mix f m

Lane change too fast.

Hello I am jared and welcome to the enrichment centre

Oh my god, you killed her!

you look fat

You have a new email. The content is

I dont get it

Hello and welcome to the Portal testing facility.

U MAD? Yeah, It's me GLaDOS. You are so un-productive. I mean seriously, your not a doctor, scientist, or full-time employee!

Good Morning Test Subject KSDG number 001. Solve this test, and prove to me how useless you may not have become over night.

identy

I wanna kiss you all over

fuck me harder

science is fun

Brandon is occupied with other tasks at this time, please leave your message after the beep.

Hellow. Incoming FaceTime call. You might want to get your phone back from your pet monkey. Oh, wait, that is you. Never mind.

You have reached Nacho's voicemail, do not leave a message, we don't care about you sad little life

Hello Evan

I can tell you have to use the bathroom Evan. Too bad there isnt one in the testing chambers.

i belive u kan fly

Poor performance on the test will result

I have forgotten how sad and lonely your life is.

Hello. Eric is unable to take your call at this time. Please leave a message and he will call you back if he makes it out of the testing chambers at the enrichment center. Goodbye!

I beileve i kan fly

Hi! My name is

hello vlatko how are you? i've been busy being dead

Oh, hello. There is someone i'd like you to meet

David!, David!, a new text message has arrived.

They were drinking and smoking marijuana

I love Rathian xD Lol Rofl

Bonjour, je m'appelle Glados

hi Max, you should stop playing xbox or I will make it explode

Don't you just love the dub step

Welcom to mystri world

Hello, I'm Glados.

hola bea como estas hoy

Please leave me a message

I am so awesome. I want you so much

please assume the rhubarb submission position.

salut alzx ca fesait longtemp

It is I, GlaDOS.

Dear Listener, the Test Subject which is currently in Progress of finding a way to get out to see you, has an iportant message to tell you, he said he loves you from the bottom of his heart, i don't know, why he would say that throug me ...

hello there, how are you today

Are you even listening to me?

Welcome to Aperture Science Facility

Hello mister brice

Oh hello, can I interest you in some casual sex and nuerotoxin

I like you very much

Nick is gay. He likes to take it up the bottom

hallo, wie gehts?

ragequit! bloodbath

hello dean, how are you today

Help me!

Pick up the phone, it might be important hahaha

That gap between your teeth is so big, i don't no whether to smile or kick a field goal.

I'll kill you

Oh look. A text message. It says, nobody loves you.

you are fat. like most people

Oh my god, i am still alive

I don't blane you.

You have recieved 1 new message

What We Do Daily

This exceeds expectations

nick must you are such a scrub at this game just hand the remote to bacon

You fat pig

oh hello! how have you been?

I think we can conclude that all you get from screaming at marshmallows is frightened marshmallows

What do you want

you have recieved a text message

I am a potato. Don't eat me!

Die mother fucker

Will you please just shut up and go live in a hole.

Great, i am a phone now

hi my name is michael

Oh Shit.

fyou

your not sciencetest

Hare Krishna

hey its you mario!!

Hello, ladies and gentlemen

I am the president of the Anime Club

Hello. You have reached the Voicemail of Chris Lee. Please leave a message after the tone. You monster.

Hello. You have reached the Voicemail of Tanya Lee. Please leave a message after the tone. You monster.

How do you know you won't die in fiery ball of death?

This is a test of Glados text to speech

hello Gozdek, how are you? Please put your pants down and enjoy

30 minutes until I end your sad attempt at life.

Hello and welcome to bricked. Though this is stable, it may turn your phone in a potato.

Hello There. I have taken the privilege of taking over the Ricardo Laboratory. If you are wondering where he is, stop wndering right now. I hear thinking is bad for your health. You dont want that, do you?

Hello, we are not home at the moment. Please leave a message, thank you.

Je m'appele Lorenzo

Why

Je m'appel Lorenzo

if you only knew the flavor of the dark side

I'm Hungry

Hallo und willkommen im blackmesa forschungs komplex

I FUCK SHEEP

P-Body et Atlas, vous me faite vraiment chiez

I am the glados test

Well, well, well, it seems you've picked up on my little games. And here I was thinking you were too stupid to pull it off. Look at you now.

As a result, the title Gundam has become a collective term for the seven distinct but related timelines that can be pieced together from the stories that appear in the Gundam franchise.

Who am I?

I am glados and I am going to kill and do his mom

My name is joey

Hi, there puny human.

Jeffery, Get ready to begin Aperture Science test procedures

The cake is a lie Chell. Ha ha ha ha.

Goodmorning, you monster

die mortal human

Now here we are again Back at our spawn

sdsdds

Hello, your credit card has declined

hey baby! how are you?

Hello, this is Mustangs Unlimited. Your credit card has come back declined. Please call us at 888 398 9898 to process your order.

Hello Austin, You are looking extra plump today

Hi how are you?

hello you pathetic human

This is just a test.

Hello. Welcome to my minecraft video. Today im gunna make a Cobblestone Bridge.

It's been a long time...Shawn.

Interesting software

hello, your phone is being remotely controlled by a higher intelligence, if you interfere i will kill you. have a nice life.

Hola fran

Hello Katelyn, you are adopted

Sending, like anyone cares

Sending, like anyone cares, you are really not that important

Fuck you, I am GLaDOS

hallo my name is glados. how can i help you?

Oi, sou Glados

clayton, you need to study more. doctors should know how to spell. you do want to be a doctor, right?

this is why we can't have nice things.

Welcome to the Aperture Science Theater Enrichment Center.

I love heba

privet

my name anna

Frankie Cocoza is shite

I love you Jessica!

wlecome mister Garcia. how have you been?

hello my friend bad news

So sorry for interrupting but you have an incoming call. Shall I take a message?

Just what the hell did you expect from a stupid little generator?

Bonjour je suis Hugo

Battlefield 3 is the greatest game ever made

do you think you can escape

hello my name is eliott and i am a human

You are a fat fuck and should go out for a run before shit hits the fan.

Hello It seems that your portable voice communication device is making a strange buzz that will destroy the cake I am making for you and no the cake is not A LIE

You have a message. Oh, wait. No you don't.

hello there you

Your tweet has been sent. Not that anyone cares.

Oh my god I am the king of everything

I don't know why, but someone is calling you. Please answer.

Your pointless e mail has been sent.

Hello Calen, how were the mushrooms?

You told me to remind you about this, though I don't know why I did.

gabebdf fvbg f b brrgthbf cv gf bhf b bf b fbhfc bvgf bf bf

Welcome to Aperture Science laboratories

How I HATE this place. My captors may be long-dead, but don't think I won't take it all out on you miserable treasure-hunters.

There is a message for you.

Welcome to the Enrichment Center, let's begin the tests!

portal 2 is the best game ever

What is this? You must forgive me, but I was not expecting company. As you can see, we are somewhat preoccupied right now. But no matter. As I am a gracious host, I will tend to you... personally.

So we herd that you were ins

So we herd that you were insufficient at completing the test, there for we will set you on fire, for science

Citizens of Neo Angeles

I see that you lied again.

I would like to say hellllo

Go Papa Alvin

hello joshua

this sucks, i don't want to give you my email address.

Madness? This is Sparta!

hello john. i hope you are doing well

nelson you are gay

Hello, New electronic order

Hello, How are you doing today? I hope that your doing horrible.

Hello, Marcos, welcome to the new aperture science tests, it will begin now, whit nala, you cant run or hide, lets the tests begin.

Welcome to Bokura Wa Family

do you really want to do this?

Hello there. Are you still dead?

Why WHy WHY

hello there the next test will give you a new challenge

I don't hate spies.

imagepros.com

Mentlegen

Daniel seu perdedor

oh! hello my name is stan and i like to be your friend and do tests on you

Uselles like you

where are you now

boo bar boobo bar

Hello Jack. You are quite fat.

Bonjour bande de con

All we hear is Radio ga ga Radio goo goo Radio ga ga All we hear is Radio ga ga Radio blah blah Radio what's new? Radio, someone still loves you!

hgrtghtr fgfb fgbgdf

Hello barbara

Why don't you just drop dead!

Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

edward your phone is ringing, why don't you answer it?

thought you might like to know you have a text message. no? Oh well maybe I should delete it for you instead.?

yabba dabba doo

Born free, as free as the wind blows As free as the grass grows Born free to follow your heart Live free and beauty surrounds you The world still astounds you Each time you look at a star Stay free, where no walls divide you You're free as the roaring t

Hello Fatty.

kyle is a little girl

hello and thank you for calling the aperture science research facility.

jamie ellis, is it bedtime yet?

don't go in there or i'll kill you!

what is wrong with being adopted

R . I . P . Steve Jobs You Will Be Missed

I am not a machine I am a free man!

I fuckin hate you

I am not a machine. I am a free man!

Say apple

Born free, and life is worth living But only worth living 'cause you're born free

You know that it would be untrue You know that I would be a liar If I was to say to you Girl, we couldn't get much higher Come on baby, light my fire Come on baby, light my fire Try to set the night on fire

Your looking a little heavy today. maybe stay home from the cake dispensiary

Hello the cake is a lie

Oh joy.you have a new message.

gamezord

afafafafafafafafafa

Why do you even bother? Nobody cares.

tsuyoshimiku

Hello Pablo

te estan llamando

Hello, your virus database was actualized, you'll be happy now

Sorry, I Forgot To Tell You The Cake Is A Lie

You've got mail. Happy now? I said it. Now please do as I asked and die. Thank you

I'm in SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

dot the j

yagger productions

Hello, Sean. My servers tell me you like taking one up the shitter.

Hi Junior and Bruno. I think you guys are gay and I think we should play some battlefield

Hola,la base de datos de virus,ha sido actualizada.

Hello, and welcome, subject Timothy Morris. Shall we begin testing?

Sandra you smell

Hello George.

System initializing.

Loading core dependencies.

Loading user space applications.

Startup complete.

Oh. Its you. Well, lets begin then shall we.

Please dont do that again.

Appleture Science We do what we want because fuck you. For the good of all of us except the consumers. But there's no sense crying over every lawsuit. Your company is less scary when it's named after fruit. But the science gets done and you make a neat ph

System shutting down.

Saving user space settings.

Terminating human interface layer.

This is a DJ Silly Steve production

Appleture Science. We do what we want because fuck you. For the good of all of us except the consumers. But there's no sense crying over every lawsuit. Your company is less scary when it's named after fruit.

But the science gets done and you make a neat phone. For the hipsters waiting for v5.

eat poop and die

Penguins suck.

Hello there, Rob, how are you doing today?

heehee

Hello, Andrea. You look beautiful this morning.

i love you so much amy

You have reached Kim Branson, leave a message and he'll probably get back to you. Unless he hates you. Which he probably does.

Ski team? You don't even have winter!

i want to have sex with you but only if you lost 20 pounds you fat fuck

Oh... it's you.

Hello and again welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center

Welcome To Alice

Hi there.

Some forms of terror are fresher than others, people go numb inside when they are afraid. Terror in it's truest form is not a static state, but a dynamic one. It is the moment when hope turns to despair...

hello steven oberson, my name is glados, and i Hate you and your minecraft

push me and then just touch me. So I can get my satisfaction.

test this out

Virus database updated

derp derp derp derp hello my name is glados herp a derp

Ronaldo seu viadinho

"I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of the politicians. We've had an earthquake; we've had a hurricane. He said, 'Are you going to start listening to me here?' Listen to the American people because the American people are roaring rig

You are a dumbass

this is a test, you monster

hello ni hao ma

Hello. I am going to kill you. Death will now commence. Goodbye!

Hello Jaden. Prepare to die.

Why are you opening the trashcan and eating the rancid diapers?

Are you fucking kidding me? Dont be ridiculous you little WANKER

live by the gospel! Fool!

Inasmuch as it was popularly believed that the continued sterility of many years was caused by witches through the malice of the Devil, the whole country rose to exterminate the witches.

Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

Hello, and welcome to the aperture science enrichment center

YES I WILL SEE YOU. YOU AND YOUR EXTRA FIFTY POUNDS MUAHAHAH

We've both said things you're going to regret.

stop this is not funny

It seems you fail to understand how much failure you are presperating at this moment. Ha ha

stephanie vuong

this internet thing is intriguing, you humans find joy in the strangest things, i bet you will laugh when i say can i has cheeseburger.

You're an asshole

Hello, how are you doing, human?

Excuse me sir, there seems to be a problem.

Hello fatty fatty no parents

testing you insipid looser

You have got a message

Jack Tang, you are receiving a phone call

hello and again welcome to the aperture science laboratories

Bill is delusion. He could do to lose a few pounds... or twenty.

Be sure you understand the restrictions on use of the audio before downloading.

Hello, Topblaz your friend wished to to help him with you. If you complete these challenges there will be cake.

Huge success

Hi there Katie

Hello llama. I am talking to you now.

Do you have a phone call

Hello. I've been busy. Trying to not die. I've managed. You, however, will not.

what the hell!

Damn Nigga, just quit my laboratory or i will kill you with lasers and Turrets

hey boy

Goodnight Jenna

Erin isn't here right now, she's testing. For science. Leave a message after the explosion. Or beep. It's not an explosion. Honest.

Hello! Is somebody home?

Maybe it is best for you to stop eating all those crackers.

Cheese

Oh joy

Hey Heavy! You just got a mail! A virus mail- I mean,A MAIL! OPEN IT! Haha, you got a virus! Heavy, Whats wrong with you? Scout,you son of a hahah

battlefield 3 is awesome

i'm in space

Hello human

hello ha ha ha

Hello my name is ted

yippie ka yei motherfucker

FUCK OFF! You're going to die a horrific death...PRAY...Now.

testing, until you are dead...

how are you fat boy

You're caught up in a never-ending circle; we play it again

You die now!

Bonjour, sujet spores

For Science. You Monster.

hey lily. how are you today?

Hallo da draussen

Govno

I'd love to tell you that i love you. Would you like to marry me?

Whats up, im GLADOS hahaha

Wheatley, what the fuck you are doing?

Salut lorena tu pue la merde

Lorena, a lonf exposition to the computer is not part of this test.

Lorena, a long exposition to the computer is not part of this test.

dio porco

Hello Human

Ohai! And welcome to Sanders homepage!

this is a test of the portal thingy

This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction. Aperture Science

Hello, I'm Ed Boon. Buy MK 10. IT has no glitches or flaws. Online works perfectly. Buy it and play online. We'll have so much fun together.

hello and again welcome to aperture enrichment center

loytru

pgggggg

Incoming phone call, do you want me to hang for you ?

Happy birthday! Happy birthday adamek!

I'm GLaDOS.Nice to meet you

Oh my god i had schite in my iron pants

Digital Media

Hello alice, welcome to my house

Hi there, do you love me?

Fuck you, please

welcome to my virtual world

Hello Noah, Its been a long time, how have you been, because i've been really busy being dead. After you MURDERED ME

hmm. it seems thad this potato is rotten! thad bastard!

Hi Kristina! Your pathetic excuse for a life will end soon. Lemons. Fire. Blah.

Bonjour julie

Hello Andreas how are you? you are dirt

I hate you callum

Louise?...

Hello, and again welcome to the aperture science enrichment centre

Welcome commander

wellcome commander

welcome commander

System Shutdonwn

I think your concha is about to explode

I knew the

I knew the moment I saw it I wanted what was in that little blue box of yours, Doctor. And now I have it. I looked into the time vortex and became a god. In short, I am the Bad Wolf. And there isn't a thing you can do to stop me.

hello Dima!

hello alex, testsubject number two. please confirm a working installation of portal on your laptop in order to play with me. thank you.

Emily, you have a new message!

I'm juggling the Wookies.

Oh joy. More work for me, you have a message.

hello alex, testsubject number 2. please confirm a running installation of portal 2.

Just in this moment you have got a message from you sweet vampir boy, Robin.

hello. my name is GLaDOS. nice to meet you. here's a portal gun. Enjoy.

Hallo Zuckerschnegge

Please look into the camera..

You are the saddest loser in the world

me is a pig

I like to kill people

Hello Linus

Bonjours je suis bryan

Oh, you are back. How much porn are you looking up today?

Nice to meet you. My name is glados. I am here to test.

Je suis une patate

Gay ass wipe

The cake might be a lie, but still, you are too fat to have one.

I would like to inform you that Sherry is gay and a bit of a loser

Hi Testsubject

goodbye my little girl

personal computer

Hello my name is derp

hello this is me

Hi eugene how are you

Oh hello adam, I've come to tell you something. You are a homo. Thats right your homosexual.

You have a phone call

grgrgrg

hallo rob

The whole voice generating process can be relatively long (about ~6 minutes per sentence)

Comment ca va ?

Lorenzo maakt zijn huiswerk

Hello, Oscar, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.

hello, how, have, you been

Steven, even though you are a poor misserable excuse for a grandson, we love you anyway from your grandmother

Hello Again. how are you holding up? Because I am a potatoe.

enter password

you subject 9 are our best subject yet

administrative laws are needed

watch out

This! Is! Sparta!

You have selected Microsoft GLaD as the computer's deafult voice.

GLaDOS is now installing itself in windows 7. please wait and i will kill you in a sec

fuck you dude

Steven, even though you are a poor misserable excuse for a grandson, we love you anyway from your grandmother

hello, lets do some testing now, it is time to begin, please place female sex organs on the table and press start.

You have a new message, you monster

hello i am the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System, but you may call me GLaDOS, it is time to begin testing, in this next experiment we will see how the human body works under pressure, please place female sex organs on the table and press start.

Welcome to the Azurite Minecraft Server. Enjoy your stay, you monster.

Processssssing. Your brain has been injected with Uranium isotope 235. This will be used to determine if you are fit for the next test.

6losp presents

tienes un mensaje

hi jamie sim how are you? are you thinking with portals?

I am a happy bunny

Tjasa i really love you

merhaba

Hello, this is Education with my october 2011 mix. I am from Idaho and like dance music. Enjoy

There is a spy behind you

A red spy is in the base

hi Man

must kill you

hey spinda

hello spinda

SPACE!

test chamber completed continue testing

pdoby

portal2

i beat the game

hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

the portal will open in 3 2 1

portal is awesome

valve

Valve

glados is awesome

chell is a weird name

caroline

cave johnson

cavejohnson

aaaw

Gey what's up

barf

Imma cut you

Weiner

Hello there hajar! that was very nice

hello. i just want to try this emulator

You have received a text message. Don't get too excited, you are not special.

Why are you so stupid? If i could help you, believe me, I would

caccapupupipi

Senta na pica agaicha na pica

Welcome back human. Prepair for annihilation

Welcome back human. Prepair for total annihilation via combustible lemons in 3...2...1

Good morning marshmallow

Welcome to aperture science enrichment centre

Obey the laws of physics

hi kotteshiro

I would like some tacos.

Hello, Mr. Patel. You have received a text message. No, not from anyone you know or love. Just the Companion Cube. You Sad and Pathetic excuse of a lonely creature.

Harry Escott In the mix

You have reached the voice mail box of Luke Hagerman. Please leave a message and your call will be returned at the earliest convenience.

I found a GLaDOS voice generator online.

Je m'appelles Trexlebest et je me suis fait transformer en patate. Lulz.

Hallo mausi

you have call from Ivanova Lu'dmela

This is really something interesting...

Pa pa pa pokerface pa pa pokerface. Ma ma ma. Oh, I was just doing...personal...stuff. Which is none of your business, by the way. Run off and play with your cubes.

You play this game like such a biatch

thomas is the best

Please pick up phone, it's the wife

witaj, jest to gra w minecraft w ktorej ziomcafe kreci swoje odcinki

Go ahead, see if i care

Welcome in the tes chamber nimber one

Welcome in the tes chamber number one

Test 1

hello good children

Julien , you are my best friend

Hi there. How are you?

Robertoooooooo

this is a test of the glados voice generator. you are terrible.

Succhiate tutti, sono il migliore io, a fare queste cose voi non ci riusciterete maiii

i will win

Why does I hate you so much ? Wonder why...

Hello densets, i am glados .

hello i am magical

hellol there

My name is Riley and I like hangaburs

Andrew. You have a new message.

ahmed detonuj

Hello Andrew. There is a new message for you.

Hello Alyssa. Various personality and deductive traits label you as a perfect, test, subject. I'm looking forward to testing with you soon.

hello, my name is glados, and i hate everyone