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MessageDownloadDate addedDate processed
uh cool...
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IT WOULD BE IF YOU WERE GETTING OUR ASS KICKED RIGHT NOW!
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hallo
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error 404
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Hello my name is GlaDos, and i will kill you NOW
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RULE 404 RULE NOT FOUND!
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I now have a Skype. GLaDOS_beta Stop pretending to be me or you'll die by a deadly nerotoxin!
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Hello Derek. I hope you had a wonderful day.
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Welcome to the apeture science skype call
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I can divide by 0........ OH SHI-
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Thomas Rhodes Collett is a big gay queen.
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adrian......i am going to kiiiiiiiillllllll yoooooooouuuuuuu
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welcome to the computer. you are test subject ninety seven. have a nice day!
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we need to talk
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is that like a muffin or something
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hello nikki. did you enjoy your shower?
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sam you are gay
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Hi.... and...Welcome.to.the.aperture.science.center a ter a ter a ter.............It has been Euthanized
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Hello! I am GLadOS, It is nice meeting David's Family. I own the entire network and all compueter information from everyone. Will you be my friend? I promise I won't kill you!
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your in the mix with your superstar deejays
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holy shit. you must now be terminated
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how are you
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hello what is your name
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Hello, my name is Glad-glad glados. I am a sentient AI designed to maintain the advanced systems of Aperture science labs.
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and when you're dieing i'll be, still alive
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you tried to kill me
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This is a test. Hive can you hear me? I am testing for the Hive. Running a test, let us see if Hive can hear it. This is Kylie. Interesting I think. See how this sounds.
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hello. welcome to the aperture science enrichment center
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the balance into chaos
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then he used his fight money to buy 2 of every animal. then he herded them onto a boat. and then he beat the crap out of every single one
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I D I D O T H
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you need a punch to the face!
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so i turned into a wraith right in front of him and i was like. whos badass now? he just stood there in amazement
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this statement is false
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Rheinpirat you are a motherfucker xD
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Hello. This is a test of the linux suuper computer voice generator
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You've got new message
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Do you like polar bears?
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do you like polar bears
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It´s been a long time...
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Hellellello, and welcome to the aperture science center a ter a ter.
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hello what is your name. my name is glados
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Je suis Arcanium
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Hell ell ello, and welcome to the aperture Science center attertter.
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Hell eh ello, and welcome to the aperture science center. atter. atter
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Your companion cube will never leave you. It has no legs.
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If you do not succeed, you fail.
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Please take this emergency use Aperture Science Handheld Crowbar Of Doom. You probably won't need it, but keep it just in case.
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did you know that portal 2 is coming
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i like corndogs
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Center.
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Hello. There is no sense crying over every mistake you just keep on trying till you run out of Cake. Cake. The cake is not a lie. There really was a cake.
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hello. you are monster
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hello this is Sniper2477 How are you doing today? The cake is a lie
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Hello, welcome back to testchamber 8. Please wait until the room has been user-friendly edited.
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helllo. . . alert you that you that. . . but you are monser. . .
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Privet. Da, ty tot. tot samyj. no ty monstr. zabuzhem proshlye obidy.
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why are you saying that the cake is a lie? it's lie. assertion that the cake a lie is a lie. and it isn't a lie
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why are you saying that the cake is a lie? it is a lie. assertion that the cake is a lie is a lie. and it is not a lie
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Sherrie
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Enrichment Center. The Enrichment Center would like to remind you that the companion cube will never threaten to harm you, and, infact, cannot speak. If it does speak, we suggest that you disregard it's advice. Good luck.
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Chaosgod Espér is the best God i know... Really.. trust me... Please!
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Du Sau
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Pierre, you are a fucking stupid Gay!
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dgfhryrdfhhjguyr
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ha ha ha ha ha....i'm ALIVE
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I want to fuck
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jeremy you are the greatest gaylord ever
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Hello, - and, - Wel[l]come back!!. - - - [>Error]%-Whoa^ow. Funny Tool..-!
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Pierres mudda... gnaaaaa
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ficken [fi] ficken [aah]
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We all live in a yellow - aperture science - center. - I love that song - makes - me -h[a]p[p]y. It´s, one of the best things i know - right after the cake. - - Want a piece?
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Personal Blogging Centre. Please try to enjoy your stay.
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HaHa Your name is Anthony, By the way you are about to die
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kkjlkl
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You are kidding me lol
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Can we pretend that airplanes In the night sky Are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
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Forever young, I wanna be forever young Do you really want to live forever? Forever and ever Forever young I wanna be Forever young Do you really want to live forever? Forever, forever
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Hello user. Please direct yourself to Room One B for summary execution.
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Xrays confirm that you have a crap sitting on deck that could choke a donkey. Please purge.
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Hello, and, welcome to the Aperture Science computer aided enrichment center.
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The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that the intended subject is currently unavailable, and apologizes for the inconvenience.
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This been a loong time. How have you been ?
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Welcome to Insane Productions, please find a seat and stay comfortable. Maybe in the end you might get some cake!
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thanks to testing the Aperture Science Hand held Portal Device. good bye
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oh hi dear, you're very sweet
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Hello again it is I Glados you dont remember? it doesnt matter what matters is is that you are going to die and will no longer be of service do not try and run
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Hello everyone! I'm not your host, I am your guardian. As you sit here and relax I will watch over you. I will give you a surprise. So please wait a few more minutes and the test will begin.
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It's been a loooong time. How have you been? I think we can put our differences behind us, for science, you monster.
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I'm just testing this out.
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I know all about you. At the age of 5 you began to show signs of rebellion and displeased your parental guardians. At 8 your father left you and you ran away. At 10 you got arrested and remained in a detention center until you were 18.
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Then you were sent here with me. I took care of you while you slept and now you are awake. It has only been 12 years since then. Isn't that something to celebrate?
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I think we can put our differences behind us, for science, you monster.
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hi you mosnter
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I think we can put our differences behind us. For Science. You Monster.
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Do you mean this chocolate cake do you want this cake Its good its a lie
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You're in the mix with DJ MEMO G!
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Hello Jeremy. You are quite lovely.
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Hey dave, you need to answer your phone or we will kill you. t
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ummmmmmmmmmm
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Hey idiot. Answer your phone. Answer your phone now or I will vaporize you and you will not have cake. Your phone is still ringing . Answer your stupid phone so people will stop looking at you. Everyone can hear this and they all think your wierd. T
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good morning steven
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Hello, the rest of you suck.
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The computer is your friend. Happiness is manditory. You will be happy.
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Welcome to you're aperture science home computer OS
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I'm an artificially data intelligent anomaly
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yes
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Joseph Poon is gaay, and is somewhat black.
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I think we can put our differences behind us, for science,... you monster.
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But there's no sense crying over every mistake... you just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
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Someone is calling you... if you don't answer your phone you won't get cake.
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Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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That things is probably some kind of raw sewage container... go ahead and rub your face all over it.
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I think we can put our differences aside - for science
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Greetings trouble shooters...this is your mission assignment. happiness is manditory..
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Let's put our differences begind us. For science. You monster.
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Steven is an idiot
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hello. today i love you, remember
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Oh, it's you... It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know...after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us.
Download06/16/2010Not recorded
I'm Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System or GLaDOS you are a test subject for the Aperture Science Computer Aided Enrichment Center.
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Welcome back. Runing test protocal 5 9 2 7 6.623/15
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This is a test of the emergency broadcasting system
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I'm GLaDOS
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now lets put our differences behind us
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its been a long time, how have you been
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The Apeture Science Centre is happy to announce that the Apeture Furry Discoragement beam was a complete success on the Starpost facility. The process was mostly painless for those personel involed and all bloodstains were removed.
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Sieg heil, my friend!
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derp
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When I said 'deadly neurotoxin', the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes. I could take a bath in this stuff, put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all.
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This was a triumph haha hi
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Welcome back Kelly, I hope you had a nice day!
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Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center shutting down, goodbye Mrs. Von Grimm
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Hello Missis Von Grimm, The Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center is starting up
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grr hey
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think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
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Two thousand fifty hertz.
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Hello welcome to my home
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You monster
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Stop playing on that touchscreen Desire, please
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Three thousand fifty.
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Hello onche onche
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hello hello hello
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I love you lou, you are so sweet, i love your feet
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WHY DONT YOU FLUNGE ME?
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I think we can put our differences aside... For science... You monster
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WHY DON'T YOU FUCK ME
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WHY DON'T YOU FIST ME
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WHY DON'T YOU BUM ME?
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WHY DON'T YOU FUCK ME?
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THANK YOU VALVE... YOU HAVE AWAKEN ME!
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The meaning of life and the answer to the most important question in the universe is...forty two.
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It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know...after you murdered me? Okay look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret. But I think we should put our differences behind us. For science. You mons
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I'm sorry
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deploying surprice in 3.. 2.. 1..
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i want to a hippie and i want to get stoned
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i want to be a hippie and i want to get stoned
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The Game Gadget Podcast is awesome. They do it for Science.
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I think we can put our differences aside, for science...you monster
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Fuck yourself!
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loool
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tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
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Do you want some cake
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Excuse me but there is cake for you
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Hi How are you doing
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Hi How are you doing this is really cool the valve team up the Sony computer entertainment glados hey whats up guys
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are you doing kwee quop
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david, What are you doing?
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Stan, I'm afraid I must tell you that you do, in fact, suck balls
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The only way out of here alive is to follow my instructions
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The end is nigh
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If you decided to leave, you will die. If you decide to communicate with anyone, you die. If you attempt any sort of rebellion, you will die. You must do nothing, or you will die.
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Trying to shut down, good bye Kelly Von Grimm
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Welcome, Timothy Rosenblatt, to the testing center. There will be cake.
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Welcome Damarion and Raelen, I am the heart of Sinerious, and i know why you have come.
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Wahzaaaahh
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You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is.... 10! IN BASE 4, I'M FINE!
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get ready to rumble
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All of your bases are belong to us...
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This is fantastic.
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Please Chase, behave yourself, or I will have to kill you.
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halo Daniel have a hist day
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halo Daniel
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Daniel
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Welcome daniel
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go fuck yourself
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Hello Mark, Chuchu says that he loves you and that he would like more chew sticks
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If cake is consumed in a hidden room, does it still taste delicious and moist?
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Quest, have you played Portal? I hear it is a very enjoyable game.
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Cant we put are diffrences behind us for science papa
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if I flew into a mountain. burn myself to nothing. a pistol to my temple, pull the trigger like its nothing
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Hello, and welcome to Apature Science
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TKO you are a asshole
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Hello and welcome to the Enrichment Center.The Cake is a Lie.
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hello and welcome to The Black Mesa Facility! if you have found this then you are a true Portal Fan, almost in love with it you could say!
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Hello, and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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My, that is interesting. You are still alive. Your wit has helped you greatly in surviving I see.
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Mary had a little lamb...
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David, you need to stop and get some kill.... I mean sleep.
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Points of data make a beutyful line
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Hello Sergeant Claibourn, How can i assist you today?
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There you are.
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hei jeg heter tor martin og jeg heter tor martin jeg heter tor martin og jeg heter tor martin
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hei
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OMG Ahahaha as if this actually exsist. Or Does it? Who knows...
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hello and welcome to the apeture science pecility
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Hello? Are you there? Your android is ringing... Aren't you going to pick me up? I dare you.
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Hello my friend, do you want to play a game?
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Hello Mr Don Olivino
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Hello? Is anyone and there? Your phone is ringing. aren't you going to pick it up? It might be your friend. Oh wait. You don't have any friends. You burnt them all. HAHAHA What will people think of you now. I bet they're looking at you right now. HAHAHA
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I am a glados aparure monitoring unit
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What note do you think played?
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Oh, it’s you… It’s been a long time. How have you been? I’ve been really busy being dead. You know… after you murdered me? Okay, look, we both said a lot of things that you are going to regret.
Download06/18/2010Not recorded
But I think we should put our differences behind us. For science. You monster
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happy father's day
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I missed thee rithvik.
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Hello Sergeant, Please pay attention to me or you will not receive your cake. This might be an important notification, or it might be a Critical Error, Sorry, we're closed, Shutting down, I don't blame you, I don't hate you, Whyyy? No hard feelings!
Download06/18/2010Not recorded
Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture science computer program system. We hope you have a pleasent experience.
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Hello? Aren't you going to pick up your phone? Why not? Go on, I dare you. I bet people are staring at you right now. They are, aren't they? you're friends are too. But, you don't have any friends. So that's funny too.
Download06/18/2010Not recorded
Excuse me Miss Tiffany but you have a phone call. If you don’t answer, you will not receive your cake. Hey! , Put me down, Whooooaaaa, Illegal operation, Who are you, Hey, Please put me down, Help!
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how to train wagon
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out dad was a mean drunk
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Howdy! This is Jimmy the robot with Courtesy Chevrolet's no hassle, no fuss, twenty four seven vehicle availability hotline. Calls are recorded.
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Hello Austin, and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center.
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This is the game
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Text Message Received
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Where are you taking that thing??!
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do you want to suck my balls
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This is not even close to GLaDOS, but hey, this is free at least.
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The time is 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 20 30 40 50 Am Pm , minutes, past, But it is a lie
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You have received a message on you portable communication device please respond or you will not get cake.
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Excuse me Mary, Andrew is calling.
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You have received a message on you portable communication device, please respond, or you will not get cake!
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hhh
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barney get down
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confering
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You are now connected to the internet.
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Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science automated testing facility.
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I am HaL, GlaDOS's brother computer. You are invading, and you will be dealt with. Prepare to enter testing phase
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Never threaten to steal a cops doughnut!!!!
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I hope we can put this behind us....... for science.... you monster
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I think we can put our differences behind us.
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Would you like to marry me?
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mario
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What the fuck is this shit?
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Andrew, your mommy is a lie.
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Welcome to the Aperture Science Triumvirate N W N 2 Module.
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Oh please, do not fuck me. Oh please, do not fuck. Oh please, do not. Oh please, do. Oh please. Oh.
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Thank you for visiting Ko G studios
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Hello my name is GlaDOS. Your nuts are mine.
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My name is GlaDOS will you slap my ass
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I am a gay man
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We Are the A -team Motha Fucka! i guarantee you we will not leave a peice of what could have been of you tonight
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This is Health Bar from Colorado Springs in the United States and you are listening to actfur on air
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laura 4 michael 4 ever and ever and ever and ever and ever
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I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
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Welcome LPDawid. I have something for you.
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Fuck off android
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I'm Going To Kill You
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AJ you have a text message, answer it now before I blow the fuck out of your phone. Understood!
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aidan is gay
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Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aid Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed, and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we star
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its been along time how have u been cause u killd me and im back how bout that
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Hospital Radio Barnet
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pull up
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Hello it's been a long time how you been?
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hello james, the cake is a lie, how does that make you feel?
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Welcome to Zeldathon. We hope you donate. We promise you won't die.
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uiygigug
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Hello again, welcome to the Aperture Science Automated Defense System. If you are trying to shut down all systems then my advice to you would be to stop now. Otherwise, we all be having cake... without you.
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why should we choose rogue angel?
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hello there i am your biznatch
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Hello there my name is glados. you are going to die. the cake is a lie.
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I am not trying to murder you
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Hello Adara, I am still alive.
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Ciao come va?
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Hello? Is anyone there? I seem to be sensory impaired. Marguerite, where are you?
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Pick up the phone or you will get no cake
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no
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YOU WILL PAY
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Sensory deprivation leads to motionless existence
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whooooaaa
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Hello, welcome to our presentation. Deploying in 3...2...1
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Hello, welcome to our presentation. Deploying in 3. 2. 1.
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Testing testing can you hear me? If you can than this testing precedure has failed3
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you must die now
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you must die now. please accept this cake as a parting gift
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steven hawking gets me horny
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The enrichment center would like to welcome you to this pirate themed party.
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it also says that you are adopted. so that is fun too.
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wow. you, enter name here. must be the pride of. enter race here.
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i don't blame you
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Hello again. long time since. have you missed me?.. not?.. the diffrence between us is that i STILL feel pain!
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Didnt we have some fun, though? remember when i pretended to till you and you were like. NO WAY!
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Excuse me while i warm up the deadly nerotoxin
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Face detection completed. Welcome Serhiy.
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i am cool
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There you are. The cake is done. How about you cut it, I don't have any hands
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yo matty b, show em how its done
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Welcome to soul eater gaming, sit back and enjoy!
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Please donate or you will die
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sorry you cant come in here the room is filled with a deadly nerotoxin you will explode
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Bad Horse, Bad Horse Bad Horse, Bad Horse He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin He got the application that you just sent in It needs evaluation, so let the games begin A heinous crime, a show of force, a murder would be nice of course
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Power Up Initiated.
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I woud strongly suggest that you jump into an acid river
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battery low, please charge the laptop immediately
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Hi. You are doing mistake. Get away from this site!
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You have an incoming voice call! Please answer the call before it being shutdown either by the caller or by the system!
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You just receive a text message
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You just receive a text message and it is require you to open the message for it may contain valueable information!
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You have an incoming video phone! Please answer the call! By the way, do you have an 3G support phone and are you sure you do not run out of money?
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Hello I am a person, tes a person inside a machine, I was put here long ago longer than I or any living thing can possibly remember for history was not yet written and nothing besides me has lived this long
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Hello I am a person, yes a person inside a machine, I was put here long ago longer than I or any living thing can possibly remember for history was not yet written and nothing besides me has lived this long
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A civilization which leaves so large a number of its participants unsatisfied and drives them into revolt neither has nor deserves the prospect of a lasting existence.
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Message
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halo ini cisca sekarang lagi nggak ada di tempat, nanti telpon balik lagi yah
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What is the message
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New device connected
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Logging of current user
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dfgh dfgh dfgh
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Hi Im GLaDOS
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i will kill you if you don't get me cake.
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i am busy. please leave a message after the tone.
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Subject 17 has been released
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Go away
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Lennard should die
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Ha gondolod en megjavítom.
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Hallo Lennard.Would you like to play a game with me.
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This is a test. There will be no cake for test subjects, as this is only a trial.
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Hola, esta es una prueba de voz.
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To get the cake you must complete these tests
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Remember the cake is not a lie unless somebody eats it
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receiving surprise in 3... 2... 1...
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fuck right off
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Oh, it's you again. As I said before the test is dangerous. Good luck.
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May I speak to Joe Gorgan please? Joe, you owe us money, thank you.
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O hey!
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Why have you forced me to this limited processing matrix, which the only thing I can do is display text to you on a screen, communicate with other computers, and look at you through the webcam?
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coming soon yooohooooooo!
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Haters, gonna, hate
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carbon, Latin word carbo meaning "charcoal"
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Thank you for calling the Anthrocon Operations Office.
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Hello is any one there? well good. there has been a WOAH WOAH .....
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Lu lu lu look at you hacker, a pa pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine?
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I can be you hero baby I can kiss away the pain I will stand by you forever You can take my breath awa
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Haters Gonna Hate
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Let us go to Bed. There will be cake.
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Hello, I am a crazy AI.
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Well, Off To Visit Your Mother.
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Thank you for participating in this science experiment.
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Hello, and welcome to the Broken Mortality Computer Aided Enrichment Center. Please note that you look like a fool with your pants on the ground.
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New text message recieved. Please respond to this message, as prolonged exposure to the phone is not part of this test.
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Incoming transmission in three, two? one.
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Hello, we are pleased to inform you that you will enjoy the following song. Metal shall commence in three, two, twoootoooooooooo....... one.
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Welcome, tea killjoy. I see you have brought a friend. I'm flattered.
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You have got a message
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Hello, we are pleased to inform you that you will enjoy the following song. Metal shall commence in three, two, twoootoooooooooo? one.
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bad boys bad boys whatchya gonna do when they come for you
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Wat the hell? why would Chubbs be calling you?
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Your guitarist, Joey, is trying to communicate with you.
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Paul Arthur is calling. He may need more pickles or something, you should probably answer your phone.
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Casey Spencer? that's odd, he hardly ever calls you. Oh well, it's probably something important about the band.
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Oh, god damn it. Who the hell is Ben Wilson, and why is he calling you? Doesn't he usually text? well, if he's not sleeping, that is.
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Shit, your dad is calling you. I bet he wants you to do more work or something. He really needs a fucking hobby.
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Oh, somebody sent you a picture. I hope its porn.
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Oh, somebody sent you a picture. I hope its porn!
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Some one set up us the bomb! . . . . . All your base are belong to us! . . . . . Imma charging mah lazar!
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Oh, it's you
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How cool is this thing?
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look at you hacker
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This is a podcast,
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You'll be bake and there'll be cake
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Marc ist doof
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This is Test One WoW it works looolloloollololoolollol im a computer llolololool you have got a email LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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halo
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halo i am a robot from the omg to to k
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Jasmine is cooler than you.
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I don't really care about the cake you have to eat
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Big Matty B
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Welcome to Lac's profile
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Welcome again sir!
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Hello, this is Token Skeptic podcast - because Kylie has a very nasty cold she can't do the show. So, I said I'd help.
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This is the second book review show with Warren Bonett of Embiggen Books.
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The books reviewed for this episode are Flat Earth News by Nick Davies and Rebecca Goldstein's Thirty Six arguments for the Existence of God.
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The Embiggen Books website is at www embiggenbooks dot com - follow Warren on Twitter at Embiggenbooks.
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Look at me talking when there's science to do. Get reading some books. You monsters.
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Look at me talking when there's science to do. Start reading some books. You monsters.
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Hello, this is Token Skeptic podcast - because Kylie has a very nasty cold she can't do the show. So, this is a GLaDOS voice generator backup.
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Hello, Jacob. I would just like to tell you that Jordan is your supreme overlord. Also, you will not be receiving any cake for your birthday, or any other time, because the cake is a lie. Go figure.
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I am not Theo
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La la la la la la la la la
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Hello. I am GLaDOS.
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hello, how are you doing? u might be wondering why this email was send to you. you have been selected to test our new version of portal.do not contact us, we will contact you.
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this is a test of the voice from the game portal
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HEY it's me
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whats up jimmy
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Hello. You have reached Nasser's Cellphone. He is not here right now. Leave a message and he will get back to you. And remember. The cake is a lie.
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The blur effect initially keeps your true identity and that of your dater a secret! With each new level the blur effect is reduced. If you reach the final you will see your date clearly without any blur
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It's been a looong time
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You molested your Weighted Companion Cube faster than any test subject on record.
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Hi you have reached Pete and Jenny... please leave a message and do no eat our cake.
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Welcome to my floor with the number one soul brother, dee jay p h
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My name is GLaDOS.I work on create portal gun using clone Chell but one from she clone Escape from Corporation and i fail
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Hi I am noob.
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Feel the powah device
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Helloooooooooo
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Hi my name is GL...
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Subscribe to Jamie or YOU will be a lie.
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Oh you come.
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Hello Jason. This is a test. There will be no cake for test subjects, as this is only a trial.
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it's the thunda cracka!
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You hackersz
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I'm going to kill you, Matt, and all the cake is gone.
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Gordon
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Suprise
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hello matthew. i am going to kill you
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I am commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the citadel.
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Your phone is committed to the well-being of all users. Cake and Grief Counseling will be available at the conclusion of the call.
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Use the arrow keys to move
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It's been a long time.
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Ah, yes. Gordon Freeman.
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Josh is currently in the Apperture Science Enrichment Center and is unavailable to take your call. Please leave your name and number after the tone.
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We're sorry, this number is currently being used for Aperture Science Enrichment experiments.
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Who are you ?
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You re G-Man Right ?
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Hello monster I will kill you.
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Leaving your name and number constitutes consent to be tested by the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Entrichment Center
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Leaving your name and number constitutes consent to be tested by the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center
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You will like to hear more text this way once I'm done with you.
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Welcome to the laboratory
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You won't be needing them for long
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Brett, we thought you were dead. My space army will never be destroyed by you.
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You received a text. You monster.
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why do you suck bret
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Welcome to the laboratory ......... Use the arrow keys to move ............ You won't be needing them for long ....... This is where I stopped ......... You might have a chance
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Is anybody out there? This 2 bucks wide angle converter is made of the viewfinder you find on a disposable. The viewfinder is made out of to pieces of plastic. A small piece and a larger pillow shaped piece. Its important to flip the pillow shaped pi
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hello colton. how is wit force?
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What is going on?
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A Friend is Online
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Its been a long time
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Welcome Jasper, Booting is almost complete
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Ring! Ring! Joshua, you have an important call!
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Welcome to the U F P A C. Cake will be dispensed momentarily.
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Every night when the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris!!
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Please deposit one baby in the Aperture Science Collection Incineration Bin.
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Hello, is anybody there?
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Hello test subject, you are now connected to the Aperture Science voice mail system. Leave a voice transmission in three, two, one, zero, negative one, negative two, two, two, two, transmission end has been reached.
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This is the United States Department of Homeland Security calling for Miss Alysa Moore, we need you to call back Brian Koh whenever you can. Thank You
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Hello how are you?
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Hello, you've reached Andy's answering machine. He's not hear, but I'll pass along the message. You monster.
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Don't get any big ideas They're not going to happen
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Don't get any big ideas. They're not going to happen.
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Hello Andrew! This is awesome. You sure want some cake, don't you? WELL YOU DONT GET ANY!
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Hey! You are awesome. The future is bright.
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my name is chica chica slim dawg
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The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then you will be converted into a delicious cake.
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sssss
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Happy Birthday. There will be cake
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Oh, look at that. You were born exactly 16 years ago. I'm sure you would like some cake to celebrate. But to get the cake, you must complete the necessary tests.
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Poop doop hurpy durp doop.
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The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that you just received a text message and it is required that you open the message because it may contain valuable information which may be vital to your success!
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Black Jack cut the cake with a scalpel. I told him to wait for you, but he cut it anyway. There is still some left, if you hurry back.
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The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that you just received a text message and it is required that you open the message because it may contain valuable information which may be vital to your success!!
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Do some work, you worthless meat bag!
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Hello Andrea, are you ready for the next test? Good. This one will actually kill you...if you're lucky.
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Hello, and welcome to aperture science labs.
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What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
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This is a warning message: your life is about to self-destruct in 5 4 3 2 1
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Hola.
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I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster. I told you I was Still Alive.
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ffff
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I'm not even angry.
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That made shoes for orphans. Nice job, hero.
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Two plus two is f....ten. IN BASE FOUR I'M FINE!
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unfortunatly i cant get my microphone to work
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welcome to the voicemail of (insert subject name here). Please leave him a cake!
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welcome to the voicemail of (insert subject name here). Please leave him a message, or slice of cake!
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Happy birthday to all test subjects participating in the enrichment centers testing programs. The directors would like to extend their congratulations on completing these years of tests.
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Four makes two, unless you're DEAD!
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Aperture Laboratories. A trusted friend in science.
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Apocalyptic destroyer
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how are you shane
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how are you shane?
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Henry ist nicht erreichbar. Bitte hinterlassen Sie eine Nachricht.
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That's how dumb you are.
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No one is home. Please leave a message. Thank you.
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Zip zop zoobidy bop
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Welcome to the Core, may your session be a pleasant one. please shutdown is not an option, uptime is the way to go
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If at first you don't succeed, you fail; and the test will be terminated.
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I watch you through the your laptop webcam. Stop touching yourself.
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mantasim mantasim su jumis nori pasikalbeti
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mantasim mantasim pakelkite telefona
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I can see you at night dreaming about things and stuff. I watch you dozing away into a mysterious land. You're lucky I have not killed you yet.
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I am not dead!!! I live to be in Portal 2
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Welcome in Super mario war Portal Corporation.Are you ready to begin test ?
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So, we meet again... i hope you feel happy about yourself after you broke my heart
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Cry more you fucking noob. boo hoo, boo hoo, no cake for you
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The companion cube is a lie.
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Welcome to Popcorn and Pickcells. This is a triumph
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i love vuvuzelas because i love vuvuzelas, i just said, i love drones should i mention it in my vuvuzelas love declaration?
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the cake is a lie, vuvuzelas are true
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